


Émulsion

by Vanishedpirate



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Artists, Asexuality, Dubious Consent, I don't intend to write an unhealthy relationship, M/M, Take place in Paris, foreign country, slow building, tag will be edited little by little, will happen once as part of the plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-01
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-01-17 20:21:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 49,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1401253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanishedpirate/pseuds/Vanishedpirate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They are all basically artists instead of basketball player. </p><p>Tatsuya is a jobless artist who lives in N.Y.<br/>Atsushi is a fashion designer in Paris, somehow the two of them will meet and, maybe fill what the other lack.<br/>Asexual! Mura (a warning to say there will be no smut, but still sexual content)</p><p>update 03/04: chap 18 is half written.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Esquisse

**Author's Note:**

> Hi,
> 
> First time I post here, I needed to write about them and about Asexual-Mura so I hope you'll enjoy it. There will be sexual content but I don't think there will be sex between them (so if you are all up for relationship development let's go !) 
> 
> The tags will maybe change with time. 
> 
> I'll update every week on Tuesday. 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr : vanishedpirate.tumblr.com

_Émulsion_  
  
Chapitre 1 : _Esquisse_

~ ° ~

They are those who are touched by grace and talent from the birth, and those who need to climb from lower to reach greatest level. Humanity is also ruled by the law of the fittest. In art, it's different from, let's say, sports. It's not the most muscular, the fastest who wins. It's the most "talented", and talent is judged by a ruthless public, not by the number of goals you made. Either "they" find your art aesthetically appealing, transcending, worthy of a master piece, or you are just garbade and you will never earn money from your work. It won't stop the artist to create, it's not a thing you can abandon. It's a constant need, a ache in the back of your brain, a demanding little insect who push you until your hands are black from coal and your face colored with paint.

Himuro is an artist and he loves two things, maybe three : Drawing, black coffee and his brother.

His own little world was used to gravitate around those three things. Now it's just him, his art and his coffee. He loves to draw humanity, naked humans, clothed humans, humans in the streets, humans at home. His sketchbook is swarming with unknown people, and the shape of his brother.

He loves drawing, but his art doesn't reach anyone. It used to when he was a kid, numerous people preached him for his capacity. now that he have to ask money for his work, or try to expose himself in gallery all the doors are shut in his face.

~ ° ~

Someone yawned in the studio, a pretty blonde wearing only glasses was seated on a platform covered by white sheets in the middle of the room. Himuro almost didn't pay attention to the sound. He was almost done with identifying the shape of her breast. If he was a girl he would have less trouble with those foreign parts.

" Do you want to take a break Alex ?"

" If it's find with you ?" Another yawn. She knew he was caught in his work because she didn't usually bother to postponed a break.

" Yeah I think it's alright, thank you. You know I could pay you..."

" Dun bother, it's fine ! Take it as a greeting gift. We haven't seen each other in a while." Alex didn't try to put on a shirt, she just rapidly took stroke toward the easel to admire the work of his pupil.

Alex was Himuro art teacher back in high school. She was rather strict with her students, but she couldn't help but fall for the black haired man and his turbulent brother. They pestered her all day to keep staying longer in the art room, or for her to give advice or buy more supplies. She huffed her nostalgia away and smiled sweetly at the boy next to her.

" Tatsuya, I think I found you a job. It's full of condition but you have to take it no matter what !"

She was always so enthusiastic even if Himuro declined a lot of her job. It wasn't by pride he just knew he was incapable of doing those jobs. It was project such as designer, or helping architects. He wasn't bad at drawing objects or buildings, but it didn't put him in a trance. Aware that he was acting like a spoiled brat who thought the cookie was never big enough, it didn't budge his mind.

" Shoot, what is it this time ?" He could always refuse.

" It's a French friend of mine who is working on a publicity, it's for some popular brand, they want to do advertising with drawings but he needs people to help him drawing. I showed him some of your work and he said that if you was willing to adapt yourself to their style then you could help. It's well paid and they want to do posters, animated publicity for television and also an internet design."

Himuro had a lot of weakness and the excitement of his teacher over art projects was one of them. He couldn't say no to her when she was speaking with such passion, never pleading but always standing strong and proving to him that it was a good job and that he should take him. She was also going through grand strength to find him a suitable job. He could only thank her for not letting him down already.

" You mentioned he was French for a reason ?" Her smile made him embarrassed, she was truly happy he didn't reject her right away.

" Yes because for that job you would need to move to Paris."

It could have been anywhere else. He was wondering if Alex did that trick on purpose or if fate was involved. His face became blank and he started thinking. Paris wasn't a big city, there was almost no chance that he didn't met him there.

His brother moved to Paris because of his father and he found a job there. Himuro thought they would never see each other again, he was too far away from reach, a big wound made of salty water was open between them and Alex gave him a chance to mend it.

" You want me to go there ?" He asked with a serious expression.

" I don't want you to stay here anymore, this place is toxic for you, it's asphyxiating you ..."

He raised a hand to make her stop, he knew it. He hated that studio, ever since his brother left, since the fight. He couldn't stand all the memory that were printed on the wall. Every smell reminded him of past event. Every morning sunshine burned him to the ground and he spent days in the dark drawing as much as he could, trying to reach higher mountain. He wasn't depressed per se, he never lose the will to fight but that place was trying to kill him.

" You already have an apart who is ready, I'll paid the first month and the other fee if you agree."

" I'm sure you almost book the plane already." He bit the inside of his mouth, and scratched the eyelid who was hidden behind his bang before to remember his hands were dirty. " It's fine Alex, I accept."

A small smile cracked the boy's face when she tightly hugged him and kissed his lips. Alex visiting him was a routine. He didn't expect anything out of the ordinary to happen and yet she found a way to shake his world upside down.

" But you know I don't know a word in French, except "fusain", "peinture" and maybe "bonjour". Noted Tatsuya.

" My friend speaks in English there will be no problem. Also I think my French is a bit rusted but I'll help you."

" Are you coming with me ?

" Of course ! I need to present you properly, I won't let you go in the tiger's cage alone." He laughed a bit at the expression, he ignored the pain in his chest at the mention of tiger and appreciated the metaphor.

" I'm not a kid you know ?"

" Keep telling yourself that."

After a second sneeze Himuro hold out a shirt, but she refused with a smile and asked him if he wanted to draw. She knew him too well, he was too excited now to calm down, his hand started drawing even before Alex decide her final pose. New lines were ahead and the page wouldn't stay blank any longer.

~ ° ~

  
 _To be continued_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nda: The french words used by Tatsuya mean : "charcoal" " paint" and "hello"


	2. Croquis, je vois le sacré coeur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himuro moves to Paris.

Chapitre 2 : _Croquis, je vois le sacré coeur._

_~°~_

 

Paris is not the city of your dream. You can keep romanticized it but, it is not rose Himuro is smelling in the underground. It is not beret that people are wearing, just damn NY cap like everywhere else. There is no piano to go with your life as in a bad romcom, just a truculent accordion who dare ask you for money after he deafened you. You can't even see the Eiffel tower for cause of pollution.

Where resides all the beauty of Paris is that no matter where you came from ; you'll become an angry asshole. Himuro has been there for only one week and he never felt so murderous while taking the public transport.

"I'm back" he grunted after pushing the door from his apartment with his hips. His hands where full of plastic bags and he muttered under his breath that he wouldn't take another foot outside until the world's end.

"Everything went well ?" Alexandra knew she would regret the question.

"Yeah except from the old lady who try to pass in front of me, who succeed because I can't say anything in French and who took ten minutes to sign a check. Who use check nowadays ? The shop was out of coffee, and..."

He stopped himself. Something was wrong with him. He has never been the kind to complain about anything, he was a calm and composed person. He became angry on big occasion but never for such trivial thing. Living in New York wasn't ideal everyday either, but he literary turned into a new person.

"How do I stop being angry ?" He took a long breath and regain his composure to be more amiable.

"I hope starting to work on the project is gonna change something." Hopefully proposed Alexandra.

Tatsuya didn't met Alex's friend yet. They travelled to Paris one week earlier to prepare everything. They moved in the apartment at their rhythm and get used to the city. Alexandra has found a little apartment with one room and one bedroom, they couldn't afford more. They slept together in the king size bed. Alexandra said she would stay only for a few days before going at other friend's place and let him be a grown up. At the minute she would be gone, she knew he would just move the bed and use the room as a drawing studio anyway.

~°~

The 18th district was a pleasant place to live by. Their building was modern looking but from the window Himuro could observe that the neighborhood was more ancient. Some Haussmannien building painted the view and not one skyscraper divided the horizon. The sky didn't seem as far away as in New York and Paris became a very beautiful city when the sun shined. Not even the bad mood of the Parisians could make Himuro angry when he was calmly sipping coffee while looking outside.

Montmartre was just a few minutes away from the apartment and he knew Alex selected this one on purpose. He discovered that they were place in Paris who were out of time. Walking down those street was like a jump in time and memories from past tense assaulted you. He could easily ignore the tourist, the bibelot seller or the artists who wanted to draw his portrait as his feet dragged him along the old pavement. As a Japanese it was hard to melt into the scenery. He wasn't labeled "human being" but "tourist with a taste for spending his money". He hoped his integration in the city would be easier once he started working on the project. He had started taking French lesson from the first day he arrived and even the precedent days in New York. He could affirm no progress has been made on that aspect.

He felt a bond between him and Montmartre. On the principal square he could find other artists who sold their work. A lot of traditional painting and watercolor, some portraitist. It was such a special and unique place in the city. He could feel the spleen from the past years, the desperation of some other failed artist who puked in the street after drinking too much absinthe. That city was despicable and yet he couldn't help himself to fall in love with each bit every more time. He liked beauty, grace but also rudeness. It's probably why he stopped in front of a publicity and after spending some time observing it he took a picture to show to Alex later.

~°~

Later that night he showed Alex the picture he took. It displayed a beautiful Japanese woman, with long black hair who enclosed a strict face. She adorned a beautiful mauve dress. There was a sweetness and a rudeness in the picture he couldn't grasp. It was like climbing a stair and having the sensation to fall. It let speechless and mesmerized, whereas this girl was just looking at you with disdain in that Fragonard's like picture. Something even weirder was happening, the comparison with Fragonard was perfect except for one element, nothing was sexual in that picture. It let you aroused but not in a sexual way, frustrated but not disappointed, curious but with the kind of excitement who makes the blood rush into your heart.

"Actually" Started Alex "You are going to work for the man who created that dress."

"What ?" speechless was an euphemism, would he have to draw for the person who designed such perfection ? He didn't know a thing about fashion, dresses and laces but he knew about art. This, here, was art in a modern form, something who was surely recognized by the world but maybe not for the good reasons.

"Not directly for him, I don't know if we'll meet him actually but the advertising is for his brand."

Tatsuya smiled, it was truly exciting. He wanted to start right away. He wanted to meet the person who worked on such beauty and see if he shared the same impression as him.

"Did you already meet him ?" He asked Alex.

"No, I saw picture of him and I heard about him a lot, he is considered a genius in his domain, but I couldn't get a glimpse of the man. I'm not sure he lives in Paris but I heard he was around for the fashion week who will soon happen."

"What is the name of his brand ?"

" Mille-feuille."

"Mille-feuille ? What does it mean ?"

"It's a French pastry, you can translated it by something like 'thousand leaf'. It's because this cake uses different layer, there is dough, then cream, then dough and so on."

"I see, It's like a painting, or a dress, you build different layer on a same base and you create something more complex." He murmured more to himself than to Alex.

"We should buy some tomorrow. " She decided with enthusiasm.

~°~

As usual, the streets near the Sacré coeur were crowded. Himuro and Alex just wanted to find a bakery and buy some mille-feuille but they went in the wrong direction. They followed the opposite road to the monument, and after the stairs they entered hell in form of a cramped street congested with couple and family. The stores in that street were here for the tourist and there was no bakery. It was a game of agility to avoid people walking in the opposite current.

Suddenly, Alex grabbed his arm and shoved him inside a shop. The frontage caught his eyes, but she was too fast for him to admire it. Once inside he took a full glimpse of his surroundings. It was a candy shop named "la cure gourmande". It was in an orange shade and emitted a nostalgic vibe. The shop was looking rustic on purpose and sold candies, chocolate and biscuit in boxes with twentieth century look alike illustration on them.

"Do they sell mille feuille here ?" He asked Alex dubiously.

"I don't think so, but it seems really good anyway."

It looked like a shop good for the tourist but there was a delightful feeling to it. The vendor were nice with them and made them taste a lot of products. Alex finally decided to buy some chocolate and some lollipop. Himuro was intrigued by the different flavor like "chocolate", "melon", "banana". After some more minutes Alexandra joined the line to pay their purchase.

Something different from sweets caught Himuro's eyes. In front of the lollipop stall stood a 6 foot Asian man. He could blamed his bangs from having keeping a guy so tall from his vision . The young man looked a bit bored, he was surely waiting for his girlfriend to end his shopping. It would seem logical because Himuro saw no other reason for a guy like him to be standing here. His train of thought was interrupted when he saw the guy shove a considerate amount of lollipop in a basket. Himuro wasn't the only one who ogled him with curiosity but he still felt unconfortable doing so.

The tall guy had purple hair tied in a loose ponytail, as if being tall wasn't exceptional enough. He wore a black turtleneck sweater, dark carrot pants who let show purple socks at the end of long and muscular legs. The back of his pull was ripped apart like a spider web who let show fragment of his back. He didn't stand straight, more like his back was slightly arched by boredom and Himuro caught him yawn once or twice.

Himuro felt entrapped like a fly in the sweater of the man. He couldn't keep his gaze away from that gigantic figure. He thoroughly observed the way his muscles danced along his skin at each movement. The way his limbs seemed to never end. There was only one thought who reiterate in his mind, as annoying as a "mind the gap".

"I want to draw that guy."

Alex pulled him off his reverie and he exited the shop with a lot of candies, no mille-feuille and enough memories to draw the weird stranger sighted in the store.

_To be continued._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Himuro and Murasakibara will meet in the next chapter ! (and so the fic will really start, I needed to take my time with the introduction.)   
> The shop in Paris is real and it looks like that for those who are interested :) : http://www.thedubaimall.com/en/Images/La%20Cure%20Gourmande%201_tcm87-18010.jpg   
> I don't spend as much time as I would like on describing the surrounding and the details in case the fic became too boring... Keep up with me there is more action to come. I'm sorry about any mistake I can make, feel free to tell me ! 
> 
> my tumblr : http://vanishedpirate.tumblr.com


	3. Choisir sa toile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nda : everything in French in that fic will be in italic.
> 
> Also I move the update day to Wednesday, it seems to work better for me.

**Chapitre 3** : _Choisir sa toile_.

"Wow, what is it with the purple Tatsuya ?"

Alexandra sudden words made Himuro Tatsuya jump. It was six in the morning, and he was supposed to start his new job today, but he woke up at four suddenly taken by the urge to paint. He had an idea in mind, well, rather a person but instead of drawing an actual human being he was doing color test and probably what looked like abstract crap in the living room. He still had the face of that unknown guy in mind but couldn't resolve himself to draw him. What his art teacher, Alexandra, had advise him a long time ago was to draw, paint, create everything and anything that goes through his mind to find some inspiration, even if it ended up being monstrous crap.

"It helps me calm myself before whatever is going to happen today." Himuro was smiling, he was excited about today more than he was anxious. He loved new challenge and this one seemed to be a big one. He had to do his proof and confidence was showing in the stroke he painted.

"Go take a shower, we'll meet my friend at eight in a starbuck next to the studio."

He hummed his approbation, his mind already far away and his brain thinking about which shade of purple was the best. Even though he couldn't see a thing with the artificial light in the room. It took him five minutes before sighing, and going to the bathroom to get prepared. He had no clue about what to wear, it was a sort of job interview but he would look out of place wearing a costume.

"Alexandra, what kind of clothes am I supposed to wear ?" He was usually good at this but a second opinion wouldn't hurt.

"Something nice and fashionable ! They are all fashion artists so yeah, quit the sweatpants and large shirt."

He laughed and picked up some black pants who always looked good with his boots and a purple shirt he would hide under a black vest. It wasn't a risky choice. Alex raised her thumb when she saw him and winked.

~°~

After fifteen minutes of walk -they deliberately avoided the underground - they reached the starbuck and Alexandra, without caring about ordering, rejoined a man who was sit in a corner. There were two more free armchair in front of him. Himuro smiled in direction of the man who ended up being really tall. He guessed he was Japanese too. He had long black hair cut in a messy square, long eyelashes and somewhat of a feminine mouth. His face was thin and gentle like Himuro, who thought for a moment that his whole demeanor looked feminine, even in the way he hugged and greeted Alexandra, who just kissed him on the cheek.

When he get up Himuro could admire, or couldn't keep his gaze away from the pants of the guy. They were white, printed with fuchsia cherry flowers. His top was a simple black top, with longue sleeves but who let his shoulders and collar bones in the air, he was also wearing a fuchsia scarf who matched the pants. Himuro get a little closer and observed black creeper shoes embroidered with pink pattern. He was also smelling some sweet perfume. Alexandra's friend greeted him with one of the most shiny smile he ever saw in that glum city.

" _Salut Tatsuya, Je m'appelles Reo Mibuchi, Alexandra m'a beaucoup parlé de toi et..._ "

The guy stopped talking when Alexandra started to laugh, Himuro understood the part where he introduced himself but he couldn't get what came after and his face was surely a clear painting of his incomprehension.

"I'm sorry, Reo said, You lived in New York so English is good ? I can talk in Japanese too if you want."

"I am the one who is sorry, Himuro smiled gently, I only started learning French recently and I can't carry a conversation yet. We can talk in English. "

"No problem, my English accent will sound awful to you but as long as we understand each other." Reo passed a hand through his hair in a swift movement and repeated. "My name is Reo Mibuchi, I just said that Alexandra talked a lot about you. Anyway you two should order something and then we'll talk about the job."

"Himuro you stay here and I'll take you the usual." Alexandra was already waiting in the line and let Himuro faced his fate. He took a sit and put his portfolio between his leg, to keep it in sigh.

"So Tatsuya, do you like Paris so far ?" Reo was all smile and gentleness and it makes Himuro feel out of place. He would feel better if he wasn't there for a job interview.

"My question sounded irrelevant, Reo reckoned, I am gonna be honest, I already know your work and I am already sure you will do a good job for us, but I am not the one with the power to decide. I am the art director for everything about the brand, do you know Mille-feuille ?"

"I only took an interest recently, I never saw any of your advertising back in New York, only here."

"What do you think of it so far ?" Tatsuya was glad he wouldn't have to lie on this one but he didn't wanted to sound like he was trying too hard to impress. Tatsuya missed the mischievous grin of Reo and started to explain.

"It's sweet, it's like a silk web who catch you the first time you watch it, but behind it there is something rough. It's not vulgar, or choking but it let you with the mouth wild open and you can't take your eyes off the clothes or the pictures. The _macaron_ collection was a wonderful one but my favorite might be the _crème_ one. It was somewhat oppressing and I don't know how clothes can do that. It's surely thank to the model and the photograph but the clothes in themselves gave that feeling. You want to wear them but it seems like they are going to throttled you, to crush you into nothingness. Those clothes overwhelm you."

Reo eyes were wild open and he started clapping loudly in his hands. He wasn't watching Himuro but a point behind him.

"Atsy did you hear that? what a great speech ! We should hire him as an advertiser not as an artist !"

" _Hein_ ? _Qu'est ce que tu racontes Reo ? J'ai pas écouté, c'était trop long... Pourquoi tu parles en anglais ?"_

 _(-_ Eh ? what are you saying Reo ? I didn't listen, it was too long. Why are you speaking in English _?)_

_"C'est notre nouvel artiste, tu sais celui que tu voulais pour la publicité et le site web?"_

_(-_ It's our new artist, you know, the one you wanted for the advertising and the website _.)_

Himuro was at a lost, he wasn't understanding a thing. Alexandra came back with the drinks but all Himuro could see was the look on her face. She seemed astonished and it took a lot to surprise her. The voice who started speaking with Reo behind his back gave him goosebumps. It was slow, it sounded bored and on the point to yawn at the end of every word.

"Tatsuya, I present to you the fashion designer of Mille-feuille, Atsushi Murasakibara."

Himuro smiled softly, his heart was hammering but he get up from his seat and slowly turned to meet his future boss. He was really good at keeping a straight face so maybe only Alexandra remarked his surprise when the man in front of him was the exact same one he had seen in the candy shop. The one he absolutely wanted to draw and cover all his sketchbook with. He was looking Himuro with what could have been contempt but was in fact his neutral face.

" _Je reviens_ " Said the men named Atsushi.

He then moved away and go to the counter to command something. Himuro slightly raised an eyebrow to Alexandra who shrugged.His clothes this day were weirder than the first time he saw him. He wore some mint jeans rolled up to the ankle who let show light pink sockets and wore pink converse. He was hiding his broad shoulder below an hoodie printed with cats, brain, and lightning, in pale blue and purple color. Himuro caught up on the light pink button up he was wearing underneath and wondered what was wrong with that guy sense of fashion. One quarter of his purple hair were braided on the side and let shown some piercing on his ear. He yawned while the waiter prepared his command and Himuro stopped analyzing him.

"Don't worry, he isn't ignoring you, informed Reo, he just can't function without eating."

"Does he only speaks in French ?"

"No, reassured Reo, he is just unaware you doesn't speak it."

" _Tu as vraiment un jolie visage_ " (you really got a pretty face) Atsushi came back with three different cheesecakes on a tray, a pile of cookies and some donuts. " _Pourquoi est-ce que tu le cache derrière tes cheveux ? Bref, pourquoi est-ce qu'ils continuent à vendre des gâteaux à la carotte ici..._ _C'est immonde..."(_ why are you hiding it behind your hair ? Anyway, why are they still selling carrot cake here... It's disgusting _.)_

" _Atsy, Il vient de New York, il ne parle pas encore français !_ " (Atsy he came from NY, he doesn't speak French yet) Explained urgently Reo.

"ooh sorry" He didn't sound that much sorry. He reached one of his hand toward Himuro who raised his to shake it, until it land on his head and he was patted like some pet. Himuro smiled at the weird demeanor.

"I am the one who is sorry, the offer came so promptly I couldn't master the language in time." Atsushi just shrugged and started eating one of the cheesecakes.

"Anyway Atsy, interrupted Reo, why are you here ?"

" _Hein_ ? I was just hungry and bored... But it's a great thing I could see the new guy. I have something to ask of you newbie, well it's not really a request... " Atsushi took a pause and bite a cookie before to start again after he swallowed. He had no problem eating this amount of food while staying standing.

"I want you to make some piece of art, something that would work for the brand, we tried with different artist already but none of them suited for the job... I never bothered to check on them before and I had to fired them too late... So we'll see what you are worth from the beginning and if it doesn't work you can return to New York."

Himuro didn't remembered being addressed with such a cold gaze before. It was intimidating, but not enough for him. It was a bet, one he was willing to take. He would have to fight for his place. He wanted to avoid returning to New York at all cost. He had let his past behind, his past with his brother and every bitter moment that happened there. He was ready to start anew, he wouldn't miss that chance.

"How many time do I have ?"

"Hmm... Say until Wednesday, you'll work in the workshop and have the same timetable as the others. Hmm those new chocolate cheese cake are sweet, I should have bought some muffin for the road too... Yeah I'll pass by Wednesday. Bye bye Muro-chin."

More quickly than a storm who pass by, Atsuhi was out of the shop, having eat the cheesecakes and putting the others cake in a brown bag. Himuro wheels were already turning too much in his head to catch on the nickname or the peculiarities of his boss. He had an ultimatum, Wednesday he would either work here or take reservation at the airport. Alexandra didn't say anything but she probably hadn't seen him smile like that in a while.

_To be continued._

 

 __  
(edit : yey little drawing in case I'm shit at description and you want an idea. I spent more time thinking about clothes than plot it's awful xD)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nda : I couldn't fit everything I wanted in that chapter, or rather I didn't want the chapter to end here but I limit myself if I want to be sure to post one chapter by week. (I already wrote much more word than I attended too) I don't want Mura to be too childish at first, I want Himuro to realize this part little by little and I'm very nervous about the idea of writing Murasakibara because he isn't a simple character, so I hope you'll like him as much as I do.  
> Feel free to review if they are thing who bother you or any mistake I didn't notice while re-reading !!
> 
> my tumblr : http://vanishedpirate.tumblr.com


	4. Choisir ses pigments

The studio, or Himuro's potential future workplace, was situated in a little court. If your goal was to access this place, you would have to use the strength of your legs to climb a slight slope in a paved street. The studio was protected by black iron gates, beyond them stood four big white houses. There were trees to guide you to the entrance. Once in this place it was easy to forget your were in the big metropolis.

"We only use one of those houses, this place is owned by a friend of Atsushi. " Reo explained.

The scent of perfume, fabric and fresh paint hit Himuro's nose when they entered the house. His ears filled by the faint buzz of sewing machine. They entered a corridor who lead to stairs while passing by closed doors that Reo didn't explained. Upstairs there was a big room, followed by another one, separated by a glass panel.

Hundred of sewing threads of different colors were hang to the walls. Behind them stood tables with sewing machine. Himuro could observe dummy, scissors, ton of objects who utility was unknown to him.

"We aren't in a production phase so this room isn't really used for the moment, explained Reo, you'll work in the next one."

They passed the glass door and entered a smaller room. There was bookshelves all along the walls and a big wardrobe at the left of the room. Next to it, hanged like clothes on a coat hanger there were paper patterns waiting to be used. At their right, stood desktops with three Mac. In the middle of the room a table could be used.

"It's the research room, mostly we come here to find inspiration. You'll work here since your job consist in doing research for us. And it's the only room with computers, you'll need them if we create a new design for the website. "

Reo walked to the wardrobe and revealed art supplies, along an easel. Himuro smiled reassured. They stored acrylic paints, inks, brushes, papers, everything he would need to create what he had in mind.

"You can use everything that is in both rooms, if you need anything I'll be downstairs. Did you even understood what Atsushi asked of you ?" Reo asked because himself didn't understood the request.

"Don't worry, Alexandra used me to abstract crazy art subject who didn't make sense. I'll think of something."

"Himuro is excellent to create exactly what you want." commentated Alexandra after long minutes of silent observation.

Himuro was good when he replicated techniques until they became genius-like with the frustration of never being a genius himself. He felt as if Murasakibara searched something new, he needed to prove he understood the brand. He wasn't in Atsushi's head, but he wanted to reflect the feelings he had while crossing his work for the first time. He had two short days to do so.

"We can leave him here, said Alexandra, he doesn't pay attention to us anymore. His brain won't focus on anything else until tomorrow."

"He really need that job so badly ?" Asked curiously Reo.

"He likes the idea of a challenge more than the idea of gaining a job." Answered Alexandra.

~°~

There are infuriating things about art. Sometime you'll have this perfect picture in your head but despite all your skills it'll be impossible to replicate it. Himuro worked hard to be able to replicate everything he could. He has good perspective skills, he knows a lot about colors, lighting and textures. He is good with realism, surrealism, expressionism. He loves details more than anything else and he is a good observer.

Those are the best qualities an artist could have so, why despite them can't he be good at art ? He wants his work to be recognize and not just some good application of techniques. He wants to let something of a masterpiece behind him. It's not really about posterity, more about personal achievement.

He was watching his work from the past two days. He felt more satisfied than he has ever been in the past few month. It was indubitably his work, but it was very unlike him. He wondered what Alexandra would think of it.

On square of ten by ten centimeter he had reproduced textures : fabric, liquid, cream, laces, sweets, in different color. He then assembled all those squares in another canvas. He "sewed" them together with glue. The result was abstract but it looked like a gradient. The bottom of the canvas was sweet, with pale color and soft texture. The squares were less crowded, he let some square disconnected as if it was sweets let here to attract a kid in a trap. It became progressively rougher, more violent, the texture were torn, ripped, destroyed.

He took a dummy in the other room and wrapped the canvas around it to create some sort of a dress. The darker squares trapped the chest. The part toward the heart had to be dark, creating an asphyxiating feeling.

He looked at his work from afar when a voice startled him.

"It seems you lost some piece of paper Muro-chin." Himuro turned and met his boss who held some of the square he left on the floor on purpose. Himuro smiled.

" _Bonjour_." Himuro didn't know how he was supposed to address his boss yet, he seemed to be younger than himself and he didn't really know how to be respectful in France. "They were on the floor on purpose, it's a path leading toward the real thing."

"So you made a dress with paper ? You thought creating clothes would be enough to impress a fashion designer ?" Himuro couldn't decipher his tone yet, if Atsushi wasn't convinced Himuro would just have to do it.

"It's not a dress, you can't wear it. It's a Mille-feuille. It's something sweet, but if you eat too much of it it'll become loathsome." Himuro locked his eyes with those of the giant, his heart was beating fast at the idea that maybe he didn't passed the test. He remarked that Atsushi was eating potato chips while sharing look between his work and Himuro.

"It's truly disgusting, I want to rip it apart." Atsushi's expression became one of profound revulsion. Himuro didn't shifted at the harsh comment. He did this piece on purpose but had no idea it would repulse his boss this much. Himuro decided to defend his work.

"You create clothes like you would create cage around precious birds. You took them in your hand and crush them until nothing remains of them. The clothes become more important than the person who wear them. You erase things so feel free to erase me behind your work." He smiled at the last sentence. If he was doomed to take a plane tomorrow at least he would have fought until the end.

" _Fait chier_ , Atsushi breathed slowly. It won't do, really, you won't work here." Atsushi seemed to look at him from afar. He stood on the _Mont-Blanc_ and knew Himuro would never join him at the top if he didn't throw him a rope.

It was Himuro time to feel annoyed and angry. Atsushi wouldn't give any good reason for this refusal ? He couldn't let this chance past, he wanted to work here. He would climb with his bare hand if he needed to. Himuro poker face seemed to break apart a little, his brow wrinkled and his gaze darkened.

"Just kidding" Atsushi finally decided in a last blow "We keep you."

Himuro nerves were on a rollercoaster, Atsushi was really an asphyxiating human being. One second he was told to go back to New York. Then the next he could stay. Just because of the whim of a child.

"I will stay." Retorted Himuro while his nerves were still tight and bravery made him speak. "but at only one condition."

" _Hein_ ?" Atsushi raised an eyebrow and munched lazily on a chips. Himuro flashed his best smile.

"You will pose for me in exchange !"

_To be continued._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes Himuro care more about drawing than finding a job. Things are really starting now and I'm really excited about writing what will happen from now on.   
> If there is any mistake feel free to tell I might have missed things while re-reading...


	5. choisir ses pinceaux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nda : everything in French is in italic ~  
> Sorry for the wait, I wanted to take my time for this chapter and since he is twice as long as the precedent I needed more time to edit it.  
> If there is any grammar error or any problem don't hesitate to tell me.

~°~

"I will stay." Retorted Himuro. "but at only one condition."

" _Hein_?" Atsushi raised an eyebrow and munched lazily on potato chips. Himuro flashed his best smile.

"You will pose for me in exchange!"

" _Hein_? Why would I do that? It seems bothersome." Atsushi admitted frankly.

"I want to draw you, you need an artist who understands the brand? I do ! So I just ask for you to pose for me in exchange."

"Don't get cocky! I can find a better artist than you." Atsushi voice sounded cold and annoyed. He didn't want to work with someone as annoying. Himuro had qualities, but Atsushi knew far better person than him. Why does he wanted to draw him? There was no point to it.

"I know, it wouldn't be hard. It's a selfish request, you won't have to do anything, just come at my place one afternoon. I'll buy you sweet if you want and put the TV on or something." This seemed to calm Atsushi nerves instantly. The idea didn't sound so bad anymore.

"Well if it's like that, it can't be help, welcome at _Mille Feuille_ Muro-chin." Himuro let the breath he held and grinned thankfully. Before it slept out of his mind he asked.

"Why do you call me Muro-chin?"

"Because Muro-chin is Muro-chin." It was a way to make his question look stupid without giving a real answer. It seems as if Atsushi had a lot of little habit Himuro found a bit too endearing. Himuro had never been good at staying away from people with an original personality.

"I see, anyway, thank you Atsushi." He thought the use of his first name was the logical one, even if Atsushi was his superior he couldn't talk to him formally.

"It's annoying, but how did you do to understand _Mille Feuille_ so well?"

"You really think I did?" Himuro was maybe pushing his luck too far, this question was just the acknowledgement he needed.

"Those clothes really makes me sick inside, even if the outside is sweet. Your dress shows that."

"I'm glad, then, let's work together and convey those feelings to the word."

Himuro didn't understand why Atsushi felt this way. However, the sickness he talked about, he could understand it through his work. All the hard feeling, the hatred and the queasiness behind his creations. He understood it because he felt trapped by Atsushi's work. Atsushi didn't need him to be the best at what he was doing, but Himuro felt he wanted to help him, to stay by his side and express through his own art the feelings of the brand.

~°~

"Welcome at _Mille Feuille_ Tatsuya !"

Himuro new co-worker decided to do a little welcoming party the Friday of his first week. By now he knew a bit more the different person who worked at the studio.

Himuro didn't remember the last time he went out in a bar with people. They met in a place called " _le rendez-vous des amis_ ". It was a warm place. On the wall were printed black and white pictures of people. The couches were red, the furniture in wood gave the place the feeling it was there since a long time. It was definitively a place were friends could meet each other.

"So what are you working on Tatsuya?" a girl named Aurore asked, she worked as a dressmaker for the studio.

"Atsushi wants me to find ideas for the next advertising based on his new collection. He wants some kinds of theme, something he could use for the fashion show. For now I'm reviewing everything you guys have done in the past and what other brands did too. I need him to tell me about the next collection before I can do anything concrete."

"We should introduce you to Kazu then!" Aurore suggested.

"Yes, but he and Shintaro are in Japan currently, they won't come back before the photoshoot." Reo interrupted.

"They can still use Skype, after all Kazu took all the recent photography!"

"I'm interested in meeting the one who took those photographs." Himuro announced.

"I'll ask him then."

"It's weird Tatsuya" Chloé, another dressmaker, started talking. "I have the feeling you'll stay longer than the other ones. Firstly, you are the only one who didn't start asking question about Atsushi's behavior."

"I hope I'll be able to stay, but it's only if my work is satisfying, I barely passed Atsushi's test." He shot her a small smile.

"If he wasn't fully satisfied with what you did you wouldn't be here." Reassured Reo. " Atsushi almost made me redo the works from all the precedent artist we hired. I think he need some kinds of supervision. Even if he would never admit it."

"I'm really excited about working with you all." He smiled mischievously "and I'm really curious about Atsushi."

They kept chatting about other things than work. Himuro learned more things about his new co-worker and their life in Paris. In that kind of meeting you learn about gossip, who were in a relationship with whom or who wore horrendous clothes recently. At midnight he took his cue and left, he wanted to get some sleep. He convinced Atsushi to come to his place tomorrow after his French lesson. He felt incredibly joyful at the idea of drawing Atsushi to his heart content.

~°~

Himuro had rearranged the furniture in his apartment for the day to come. The couch was moved in a corner below the window. He put the coffee table in his room and let the TV unit against the wall who faces his door's bedroom. He placed sport mats on the floor and put his easel on the other side where he would have enough place to paint. He rearranged the place thrice, nervous for no reason, just excited about the idea of having someone coming this afternoon and the promise of drawing during hours.

Atsushi arrived duly at 4p.m. His eyes spotted the small kitchen on his left instantly. He had brought a plastic bag from _Monoprix_ (nda: French supermarket) and Himuro guessed it wasn't a gift for him. He put it on the bar who delimited the main room from the kitchen. Then, he took off his shoes and put them close to Himuro ones, next to the door.

" _Bonjour_ Muro-chin" Himuro smiled.

"You had no problem finding the place?"

"Na, it was easy." Atsushi took off his green k-way and hang it on the coat racks.

"What kind of food did you bring? I don't know your taste so I just bought candies and ice-cream." If Atsushi face was neutral most of the time, Himuro could swear his eyes lit up at the mention of ice-cream.

"I bought candies and potato chips too. I like _Monoprix._ Their candy are cheap so I don't buy brands." Himuro realized he must buy a really large amount of food if he bought the cheap ones. Even though he didn't know Atsushi's financial situation. He took him for some rich fashion designer, but maybe it was hard to make ends meet for him too... "Can I have some ice-cream?"

"Yes, sure." Himuro had the feeling he would never end up drawing. "You can eat the whole thing if you want, I'll just lend you a spoon." He didn't mind if Atsushi was eating. It would be a repetitive movement so he would still be able to draw him properly.

While he was fidgeting in the freezer to find the ice-cream, Atsushi started taking off his shirt and put it unfolded on the couch, he then took off his pants. Himuro frowned at the sound of fabric being ruffled and closed the freezer's door to find the source. Then, he stood there, gob smacked, his ice cream pot freezing his hand. He didn't have the time to try to hide his surprise. His brain had burned out. He thought about why he was alone with his boss in underwear. His eyes wondered along his boss's back, toward his blue boxer brief printed with white bunny. When he noticed that his hands were about to take off that piece too he raised his voice.

"Atsushi!!" He didn't shoot, but his voice didn't sound as steady as he would have liked.

"What ?" Atsushi turned at the call of his name and Himuro looked at a point behind him, anywhere, but not him. He took a deep breath and stopped to act like a fair maiden whose innocence was being ripped. He knew he was over reacting, but it would be no problem if his own intention toward Atsushi were innocent. He just wanted to draw him, fully clothed, he wouldn't have dare to ask for this ... yet.

"You could have kept your clothes on you know."

"Why ? If you wanted to draw my clothes, then you could have asked Reo or anybody else." He didn't hide the annoyance in his voice.

_Touché_...

"I don't care either way..." Atsushi reached for his shirt.

"It's okay, you are right, I don't really want to draw your clothes." Himuro had gained his cool back and just bring the ice-cream pot with a spoon. "I'll go search some sheets to put on the floor and the couch." He went into his chamber, took some white sheets and two fan heater in the closet and came back in the room. Atsushi was more interested in the ice cream than by his surroundings.

"Is Vanilla okay?" Himuro asked.

"Yeah anything is fine." Atsushi answered.

"Do you have a favorite ice-cream?"

"Calippo and Mr. freeze." Atsushi didn't hesitate. Himuro didn't knew these ice creams, but he would have to find them for the next time. If there was ever a next time. He ended up placing sheets on the mats and one on the couch. He then plugged the heater and turn it on. He didn't want Atsushi to catch a cold.

"Everything is ready, you can take off your boxer and ... eat your ice-cream as you wanted. You can sit, as long as you don't move too much your legs and upper body."

"Understood."

Atsushi put the pot on the floor, took off his boxer and sit cross-legged on the floor. He started eating while watching Tatsuya setting to work.

Atsushi took a brush in his hand and stopped smiling at the same time. He wanted to draw Atsushi in so many different way he didn't know which medium he should use first. He opted for acrylic with limited color, he had some good paper he wanted to try. He put brown, white, purple, red on his pallet and started observing.

Concentration and observation are the most important skills for model drawing. Understanding the major lines of the pose. The silent movement in which your line should go to recreate a pose. You start by drawing a whole, by placing the abstract form of the person on the paper before going at the search of little details. Himuro was familiar with this practice, he was always concentrated at his maximum and nothing could distract him in those moments.

Unfortunately, the movement of Atsushi's spoon toward his mouth, and the way his lips captured the ice-cream wasn't a useful part of the drawing he was supposed to look at. His mind could only concentrate on tiny details, like the way his extensor muscle wrapped his arm like a snake every time he moved it. Despite the amount of sweets he was eating Atsushi was fit. His important bone structure like his collarbone and his hip bone were apparent. He was muscular, more than what Himuro usually hoped for in a model. Himuro didn't pay attention to Atsushi gaze on him, or the fact that his hand stayed motionless for five minutes.

Himuro wanted to get closer, to observe every details, he didn't need the whole picture for now. He wanted to take a pencil and drew every fraction of his whole being to remake the puzzle later. He laid his brush on the board of the easel and went straight into his bedroom. He heard Atsushi call his name, but he was back in a second.

Himuro took off his socks and faced Atsushi on the mats.

"Is it okay if I sit there?"

"No problem." Atsushi answered.

Himuro sit and opened the sketchbook he took in his room. He wouldn't be able to treat Atsushi as his other model and the other man didn't seem to care. He started drawing his face, it was moving because he was still eating, but Himuro didn't mind. It gave him a good excuse to stare more intently. They stayed silent like this for some minutes. Atsushi had finished eating. He moved his head to look at the bottom of the pot and his hair fell in front of his face.

Himuro who was henceforth concentrated on his drawing didn't think twice and reached his hand to replace Atsushi's hair behind his ear. He froze afterward. It wasn't conventional so maybe the rule didn't apply here, but Himuro promised himself to never touch his model. It was pure logic as why model couldn't be touched. Even in a private case like this, he always bend to that rule.

"Should I attach them?" Atsushi asked. Himuro sighed and smiled, shaking his head that it wasn't necessary. Once again he was the only one overreacting.

"I'm sorry, I swear I wouldn't touch my models." Himuro preferred to make sure he didn't cross a line. Atsushi shrugged and turned his gaze to the kitchen.

"I'll go search the bag with candies" Himuro proposed.

"I'm fine" Atsushi interrupted. "Can I lie down ? Will it be okay for you to draw?"

"Yes it should be." Swiftly Atsushi laid down on the side, his hand behind his head as a cushion. Himuro took a pillow from the couch and give it to him. He just wanted Atsushi to place his hand elsewhere to draw them.

"by the way, it's okay for Muro-chin to touch my hair. I don't mind."

Silently Himuro kept drawing Atsushi bit by bit, while his concentration get deeper Atsushi sink into sleep.

~°~

The room got darker and Himuro didn't realize he was creasing his eyes too hard over the paper. He stood up straight in one swift movement, but fell immediately back on the floor. His legs were fool of pins and needles and the pain couldn't make him get up. He stayed sit for a while watching the calm body lying near him. As he got aware of his surrounding more and more he realized the room was a bit hot with the fan heater.

Once able to get up, he closed the roller blind, turn on the lights and turn off the fan heater. After that, he called Atsushi to wake him up, it was quite late now and he felt guilty for not wake him earlier... Atsushi eyes finally opened and he sat up, his eyes looked everywhere as if he forgot where he was.

"I'm sorry it's already 7p.m I should have woke you up sooner, but I lost track of time." Himuro apologized.

"It's fine, I didn't have anything planned tonight." Atsushi get up without any problem and start dressing up again. Now that Himuro thought about it, Atsushi had no problem with falling asleep naked on the floor of a total stranger...

"I'm hungry..." Atsushi thought out loud.

"Do you like pizza ? We can order some." Himuro offered.

"Hawaiian" Himuro took that as a yes and picked up his cell phone in his pocket to place the order.

While waiting for the Pizza Himuro rearranged his flat as before while Atsushi nibbled some potato chips. The room was pretty silent, but it wasn't an awkward silence. Himuro sit on the couch next to Atsushi and turn on the TV. He felt pretty comfortable next to Atsushi.

He started wondering why it was so different from the time where he lived with Kagami, his roommate in New York, the one he considered his little brother. He couldn't grasp what was different, yet. While he was thinking he watched Atsushi instead of the television.

He remembered his past words "by the way, it's okay for Muro-chin to touch my hair" and he decided to take a chance now that they were both clothed. He reached his hand and put Atsushi's hair behind his ear. Atsushi turned his gaze, his right hand stopped a second before delivering potato chips in his mouth. His other hand moved for a bit as if he was going to reach back and touch Himuro, but he didn't do anything except for tilting his head a bit toward Himuro.

Himuro didn't take the gesture as a refusal and passed his hand in Atsushi's hair. He bent over a bit, allowing his other hand to cup Atsushi's face. He caressed his cheek with the back of his finger. His hair and his skin was soft. He let his fingertip run from his face to his neck until he found his collarbone. He had moved closer to Atsushi before he shut his eyes while touching Atsushi's face. It was like sculpting him in his mind, to remember each part of him. Himuro heard movement beside him before he felt something salty on his lips, then something soft. The taste of the potato chips hit him before the sensation of Atsushi's lips on him. It was like a stream of air, and he wanted to push further, to kiss him back.

A high-pitched laugh coming from the TV snatched Himuro of his fantasy, followed by the doorbell announcing their diner arrived. He was still sit a few centimeters away from his boss and cursed internally his imaginative brain to pick the wrong time. He got up to reception the pizza and put it on the coffee table. He went to the fridge and took some can of coke before sitting himself back on the couch.

" _bon appétit_."

They both sing along the word before starting to eat. Himuro could forget the rumble of his stomach when he was highly concentrated on drawing, but now he needed to replenish his strength.

"Muro-chin, I have a question. Were you uncomfortable when I took my clothes off ? It seemed to me you were." Himuro was taken aback by Atsushi sudden curiosity.

"No, not uncomfortable, just surprised because you are my boss."

"Hierarchic situation don't really make a lot of sense to me, what his important is your art Muro-chin. I'll only judge you by that."

"Oh, and what do you think of it then?"

"It's ... pretty."

What, that was all ? pretty ? That was such a simple answer, but he felt like it was the biggest compliment Atsushi could make. It wasn't "wonderful" or "magnificent" but "pretty" or "good" was enough. He couldn't compare with Atsushi's talent, but being recognized at some level by this man made him felt good.

After they finished eating the sun had set and Himuro asked Atsushi if it would be okay for him to go home in the dark. He answered saying "I'm not afraid of the dark Muro-chin" not really what he had implied, but he smiled at the cute answer.

" _Bonne nuit_ Muro-chin" Atsushi last word before Himuro closed the door and felt the emptiness of the apartment settling back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nda : there will be some kind of rapprochement next chapter, I wanna write fluff even if... well I'm not really used to write fluff in the first place... :'3 And this fic isn't about them getting together, it's about them being able to keep or not their relationship so I won't make you wait much longer.


	6. Mélanger les pigments et le liant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nda : I am so sorry I am late, I have no excuse except that I am very busy and very tired and I wanted this chapter to be the best it could ; ; I hope you'll enjoy it, it's a longer chapter than what I had planned... It's because 1000k is really too short to write anything xD so yeah some fluff and domestic time this week ~  
> nda2: Everything in French is still in italic ~  
> my tumblr : vanishedpirate.tumblr.com

His Sunday took an unexpected turn, Himuro thought as he get closer to the source of heat next to him. He never planned to sleep late, but he felt too much at ease to move. Even a French breakfast wasn't appealing enough to wake up.

His body should have ache from the two legs encircling his hips in an octopus grip, but it wasn't the case. He wondered if Atsushi blood circulation was intact while he readjusted his hand on the broad back while shifting just enough to nest his head in Atsushi neck. One of Atsushi hand was in his hair, while the other rested on the low of his back.

One month had passed since his first drawing session with Atsushi, they had seen each other every week end since then. Atsushi had a fashion show coming in two months and everyone had twice as much works than usual and both of them spent a lot of time working together. Himuro had the false impression that Atsushi was lazy. Surprisingly when it came to work he was amazing. His ideas were very good and they came in a continuous flow. He discovered the bossy side of Atsushi. Without seeming to put that much effort in his work, he was very efficient and creative.

Outside of work Himuro couldn't have guessed that Atsushi would have this need for human contact. He woke up in the night from the heat, remembering that Atsushi was at the other end of the bed when he fell asleep. His shifting woke up the giant boy, Himuro silently acknowledged that he agreed to proximity. He never remembered cuddling that much with someone else before.

Nothing noteworthy happened last night, they just ate after drawing and watched some culinary emission on the television. He tested Atsushi this night, not offering him to return at home, waiting to see if he would decide to leave by himself. When he didn't, Himuro guessed it was his laziness who pushed him to stay.

He felt Atsushi's legs stretched a little, they exceed the bed before returning to their previous position. The man was finally awake, but he didn't lessen the grip on his prize. Himuro was sure Atsushi slept with a teddy bear. If he had a girlfriend he wouldn't be spending the night here and Himuro would have heard about it from his coworker. He heard a grunt, followed by a yawn.

Atsushi didn't need a teddy bear, he was a real bear himself. He nested his head in Himuro neck, who laughed from the tickling sensation. He wondered why he was surprised to feel his chin was scruffy. He let Atsushi do everything he wanted as an occasion to feel him against his skin, let his scent took his nose and soak his sheet.

Unfortunately, Himuro needed to pee, but didn't know how to escape the claws or even if he wanted to affront the cold outside their blankets cave.

"Atsushi..." Another grunt "I need to go to the bathroom" Atsushi didn't shift "You don't want me peeing in the bed" Atsushi tightened his embrace, his legs sliding to encircle Himuro's one from behind, their hips closer than before. If Himuro didn't move right away they would be faced with a more solid problem than his bladder.

"Atsushi!" He raised his voice "Please! We'll have breakfast so please wake up!"

Atsushi let him go right away and let his back fell on the bed, his arms and legs spread. The octopus transformed himself into a starfish.

Himuro went to the bathroom fully awake and didn't take more than two minutes with his business. He came back to lend a toothbrush to a mid closed eyes Atsushi.

"Here! I have a spare one" Himuro explained "you can use it after breakfast. It's the purple one, not too hard to remember."

Atsushi grunt back and turn on his belly, Himuro didn't complain about the sight. After replacing the toothbrush in the bathroom, he went to the kitchen. Himuro looked in the bag of sweets Atsushi had left the day before on the bar. There was _croissant_ and _pain au chocolat_. He smiled and asked to a fully clothed Atsushi.

"-Had you planned to stay the night?" Himuro smiled.

Atsushi just shrugged, not agreeing, but not denying either. Himuro felt a jolt of happiness knowing that Atsushi didn't mind spending time with him. He wondered for some time if Atsushi didn't feel forced to come here. Observing him sitting on the bar and sliding into every crook of the apartment as if he always lived here reassured Himuro. It felt already natural to have him around.

"What do you want to drink? Tea, coffee..." Atsushi interrupted his list.

"Hot cacao."

"I don't have any..."

"Pineapple juice..."

"I got oranges..."

"Candy up!" (nda : it's a drink with chocolate or strawberry flavored milk, I don't know if it exists outside of France...)

"I don't even know what that is!"

"Then coca..."

"What? I won't give you coca cola for breakfast!"

Himuro was slightly amused by Atsushi's reaction, but appalled by his taste for breakfast.

"Orange juice will do then..." Atsushi capitulated.

Himuro prepared him orange juice with real fruit and laughed at his grimace when he saw there was pulp. He thanked Himuro and drink it nevertheless.

"Oh! It's good!" His face lit up, his eyes opened up ruining this usual bored look of him.

"I put some grenadine syrup in it. It's less acid and it adds some sugar. I made a lucky guess thinking you would like it."

"Thank you." Atsushi smiled faintly at his drink and ended the glass in one gulp.

"Do you want another one?"

"Yes please."

Himuro took one _pain au chocolat_ and let Atsushi eat the remnant of the box. It was astounding the quantity of food he could ingest in one go.

~°~

After breakfast they brush their tooth, with toothpaste in his mouth Himuro asked Atsushi if he wanted to watch a movie or if he wanted to go home. For only answer he took place in the sofa and said to not choose something sad. Himuro quickly looked up the last movie he could download and he found one which according to the screen cap would please Atsushi.

One hour later, after an errand to Monoprix for food, they installed themselves in front of the television and started "Wreck it Ralph", that Disney movie about video games. Last week he learned that Atsushi liked Smash brawl. He even brought his own Wii to show off his competence with Pikachu.

Atsushi stayed his usual self during most of the movie, eating candy with a straight face. He stated that the kid was noisy and annoying, too much hot heated. Atsushi liked to comment everything and anything. He looked interested, his eyes wandering in the movie background. Probably thinking those fields of sweets, mountains of candy and lakes of chocolate were the accurate description of heaven. He was certain to be born in the wrong world.

"-I felt the same frustration when I watched Charlie and his damn chocolate factory." Himuro laughed lightly and gave him some kinder to palliate the frustration.

He stayed frozen when Vanellope kart was destroyed. His body slightly bent over, his right hand creased the bag of sweets. Atsushi left hand moved so fast Himuro didn't see it until he felt it gripping his own. The grip was solid, but didn't hurt. Himuro barely heard him whispered " _Il l'a écrabouillé..._ " ( _he crushed her/it_ in French the phrase is ambiguous) without understanding the meaning.

"They never understand how the world is ruled. He was stronger than her. She can always cry it doesn't change the fact she can't do anything about being different. People like that makes me angry, she should stop struggling. He did her a favour."

There was a bitter and harsh taste in Atsushi words. Did his sweets go down the wrong pipe to speak so harshly about a cartoon? Himuro stayed silent, contemplating Atsushi's words.

Atsushi didn't voiced his opinion until the end of the movie, and he didn't let Himuro's hands either. It became moist, not that they cared and Himuro actually liked the proximity.

Atsushi slightly laughed when Vanellope joked about executing the other candidate who treated her bad. He seemed to like the kid better now.

"sweet mother of monkey milk, I'm even more hungry now..." Himuro smiled at the use of the expression parroted from the movie.

"Did you like the movie?" they let each other hands and both wipe it on their pants.

"wasn't bad."

"It wasn't sad?"

"Nan, Finally that big guy accepted that he was strong and born to wreck." Atsushi didn't meet his eyes he was still watching the screen. Himuro wasn't sure of the lesson Atsushi took from that movie, he still had a hard time understanding him. There was mystery wrapped around him and it was intriguing. Maybe there was nothing behind the wrap. Maybe he was already eaten and hollow, but Himuro wanted to understand his weird reactions, his need for physical contact and his rejection of people who were weaker than him. He wanted to identified every ingredient who composed Atsushi. It could take him his whole life, but he was willing to try.

A cheery music made Himuro jump, Atsushi foraged in his giant pocket for a while before retrieving his cell phone and answering. He talked quickly in French and Himuro didn't understand anything of the conversation. By the flow of it all he could guess was that Atsushi greeted his interlocutor happily and then started speaking very coldly to him. He never heard him with so much venom in his voice and he wasn't willing to make Atsushi angry one day. He hung up with what was surely, an insult instead of a goodbye. Himuro was skeptical to ask what happened, but he didn't need to.

"My next fashion show has been canceled, Aka-chin took it away."

_To be continued._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nda: I'm sorry in advance I don't know when the next chapter will be posted :x , I won't be able to write this week-end (except if a miracle happens) and I'm going to be really busy til the end of the month. Don't expect anything the week of the 26th, it'll let me time to think about the fic and maybe I'll write a longer chapter during that time if I got any spare time :x thank you all for reading !!


	7. commencer le lavis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nda : I could write this chap in time, miracles do happen !!   
> Everything in french is still in italic  
> my tumblr : http://vanishedpirate.tumblr.com

"My next fashion show has been canceled, Aka-chin took it away."

Himuro looked at him flabbergasted, for two weeks the studio has been in a torpor about the oncoming show. Himuro did not remember the last time he stayed awake at night because of work before he started at _Mille Feuille_. It seemed easy this time, to throw himself in those fabrics. Now he felt them tightened around his throat.

"He said something about me being 'too lazy'..." Atsushi put sarcasm in the last word, "he gave the show to some popular new designer..."

"Who is Aka-chin?" Himuro asked, not sure on how to react about the news, their calm weekend was already a mere far away memory. He wasn't aware the show could be cancelled on a whim.

"Weeell... He is the one who helps to finance my shows, we got our regular client for the brand but to be sure we make big and impressive show before we reveal our new collection and to sell those collections we need money. I know Aka-chan since middle school and he always helped me with money... He helped us all, you can call him our _mécène (nda: sponsor)._ "

"So, he decided to finance someone else for this show..." Atsushi face became dark, he put his thumb between his teeth and gnawed at the nail and skin.

"Is there a way to take your show back? To make this 'Aka-chin' change his mind?" Himuro was still trying to understand even though the same situation happened to him. One day someone decided they would rather expose his brother works in his gallery, whereas everything has been prepared. He knew too well how it felt, the powerlessness, being left at your own device. At the time Himuro tried to strike back but did not have the strength. Atsushi could.

"Prove to your _mécène_ that he made a mistake, show him you are better because you know you are. Make an even better collection than the one you have been working on, I am sure everyone in the studio will be less downhearted if you come back with good ideas."

Rare thing, he could see Atsushi mind think at great speed.

"I had an idea a few days ago, but I didn't intend to make it... Aka-chin will love the idea and we'll make a bigger show than this one, I will crush that poor excuse of a designer. Let's go see Aka-chin and defy him !"

Himuro felt electrified by the idea, but uneasy at the same time. If this person had enough money to dictate a fashion show then it shouldn't be someone to mess with. Save that the excitement and the curiosity prevented him to be cautious.

"You want to declare war instead of begging? This is exactly what I like to do." Himuro smile was too big to be hidden and Atsushi didn't look defeated either. They quickly slip on their shoes, put on their coat and hurried outside. Atsushi cram some snacks in his pocket and they went down the stairs of Himuro apartment like a new born storm.

They kept a quick pace until they entered the subway who was too slow for their excitement. It let Atsushi time to calm down and think about something.

"Muro-chin, before we head there ... I need your approval on something."

He would happily answer "anything for you" at this moment, but he did well to listen to what Atsushi had to say because it wasn't anything he had expected.

~°~

Akashi Seijuro lived in an apartment in the seventh district of Paris, one of the richest. Akashi didn't spend all his time here, it wasn't even his principal residence. He travelled a lot to meet clients of his father company and other companies' directors and he used the influence of his father to develop his interest in art. It was a lode were a lot of money could be made. A piece of modern art could be sold thousand of euro at the FIAC in Paris. Everybody heard of the fashion week who took place in the best cities in the world. Akashi had the chance to meet amazing artist in his middle school years. He had a gift, while he could have been a great artist himself he was better at creating ones. That was his true art, shaping people the way he wanted, bringing them where he wanted : to the top. It was thank to him. His opinion became absolute.

The fact of removing Atsushi's show was equivalent to moving a pawn on his giant chess. He had nothing against Atsushi new collection, it would sell very well, maybe better than the fashion designer he was currently trading with. Except that taking him off the game, it would create noise, it would force him to come back bigger and stronger. Eventually, it's there that money could be made. Atsushi wouldn't move by himself, he needed to be taken in his last retrenchment.

He half expected Atsushi to pay him a visit, he would not have guessed his expectation would be fulfilled so early.

" _Qu'est ce qu'il fiche là ?"_ ("What is he doing here ?") Atsushi commented once the secretary lead them to Akashi's office. It was a plain room, some books stored in bookshelves leaned against white walls, a mahogany desk stood in the middle and nothing remotely human or giving a warm feeling escaped from that room.

A tall guy, well taller than Himuro, but smaller than Atsushi, with brown hair and a kind smile was sat in a chair facing 'Aka-chin'. Himuro kept getting surprised to only met Japanese man who all seemed connected by the past. Himuro could only guess it was the fashion designer who took Atsushi's show. He looked very banal compared to Atsushi. He was wearing brown pants with different layer of clothes who included a shirt, a hoodie and a leather vest.

"I never thought we would meet again so soon." The kind looking guy stated in English, earning Himuro's gratitude.

"Dun remember we ever met." Atsushi commented casually.

"Well I hope you won't forget me now." Himuro couldn't feel the bitterness who was supposed to fill these words. This man seemed incapable to be mean and it brought a nice balance in the room opposite to Atsushi coldness.

"Dun worry, Kiyoshi Teppei, you pissed me off enough today for me to remember you."

"Easy, easy Murasakibara, why did you come here?" 'Aka-chin' speak for the first time since they entered the room. Himuro would have like to feel more transparent now that he stood in front of this man. He was small, compared to all of them, but a feeling of power emanated from him. He was strangely fascinating, surely due to his heterochromia. One of his eyes were red, the other seemed almost golden, maybe the light was tricking him, but it was amazing. Was there a whole team of beautiful people like Atsushi? If that was the case he wanted to meet all of them.

"I won't complain about your recent choices Aka-chin, I just want to state that..." Atsushi turned to the gentle man before looking back at Akashi, he stood as tall as he possibly could and looked down on them as he announced. "the next show is mine."

"Why is that?" Atsushi smiled lazily at Akashi's question.

"I am gonna start my first male collection."

This statement got his full impact when more information about Atsushi were given. Since he started creating clothes, he only created clothes for women. He never explained himself on his choice, but he refused to change that fact. It was the golden rule of all his collections, he created beautiful thing he would never been allowed to wear. It was one of the things Himuro had instantly observed about his work. It surprised him enough when he announced it in the subway, but it wasn't the most astounding revelation he gave him.

"The man next to me" continued Atsushi "will be my main model during the show."

Every eyes were turned toward Himuro and started judging him. He didn't feel embarrassed and felt proud to be a part of Atsushi project. He never felt thankful for his good look until today. The judgmental eyes stopped when Akashi asked him his name.

"Himuro Tatsuya."

A short, but imposing silence took place. Akashi was sorting things through his mind.

"You are not a model." It was a fair statement.

"No, I have been hired as an artist for _Mille Feuille_."

Akashi smiled.

"Nice to meet you Himuro, my name is Akashi Seijuro" He get up from his chair and held out a professional card. On it was the name of his company and his contact. Himuro wondered if a man this young was the head of a big company, or just the heir? He would have to do research about it.

"Murasakibara do your work, you will be both in competition for the next fashion week in June, for menswear. You will present to me your new collection and I'll choose one of you. I can also choose none of you, so surprise me."

Himuro felt as if they had won, when in truth they were far from it, but the fashion show that has been stolen felt like a minor event in the grand scheme of thing. A better fate were awaiting them and they had no time to lose with little event. Himuro knew that Atsushi never participated in the fashion week, they would be given a place next to the most famous creator and it felt exciting even for him who never cared this much about fashion before. It was also scary to know that Akashi had this kind of power.

"See you soon Aka-chin" Atsushi didn't take more time to get out of the room, he had nothing more to do here. After a quick look at Akashi, Himuro followed him.

The end of the weekend was coming, tomorrow they will have to announce the news to everyone in the studio. Himuro didn't know what would happen, how Atsushi would present them the collection. Most of all how would he become a model? It was foolish and presumptuous to think he could walk on a catwalk. The adrenalin left his system while they wait for a new subway train. He was an artist, not a model. He was good looking, but he did not have the shoulder to carry a whole brand. Or did he? Atsushi seemed to believe so and he could always trust him.

_To be continued ..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nda : Ah I'm happy we got Akashi and Kiyoshi in the fic now ! I am afraid to put a lot of character in the fic because they won't be as developed as the others and I don't want things to get messy but they appear nonetheless, it's hard to imagine the two of them without all the people who gravitate around them, and even if I ship Murahimu I think that Mura and Kiyoshi relationship in the manga is one of the best thing there is, I could talk about it endlessly. Ah and soon another character I am impatient to write will appear ! 
> 
> Also I should have mentioned it but it wasn't important before, I apologize if I made mention of it and forgot but I don't think so, Himuro arrive in Paris in September, so now they are in the beginning of November, so they still got a lot of time before June. 
> 
> Like I said last chapter there won't be any chapter next week, I won't have access to my computer so I won't be able to write. Thanks for reading this fic <3!!


	8. Premiers aplat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nda : I'm so sorry for being so late. So many things happened that I didn't expect, I couldn't even think about the fic. In the next few weeks it'll still be hard for me to write, but I won't drop that fic it's just that weekly update is a hard thing for me xD 
> 
> French things still in italic.

"One day I'll have a wall at the MoMA." affirmed a pretty kid with a mole under his right eye and dark hair who covered his left eye. He was talking with conviction to the red hair boy next to him.

"You would be beside Basquiat and Avedon, one more Japanese name among the big!"

Despite being one year younger, this red hair child held the same enthusiasm.

"Me, I don't want to be in a museum. I want my paintings to be everywhere in the world, on walls, billboards, shop window, in every city where everyone can enjoy it!"

"We'll have to become the best if we want to do that." Himuro smiled while watching the trees he was drawing. Alex took them out for an observation drawing class in Central Park .

"There is no doubt we will!"

Kagami was always this confident about his potential, and his motivation never petered out. Himuro was the one who discovered his potential, and while eyeing Kagami's tree he knew he wasn't wrong about his talent. It wasn't a perfect tree, but the lines were raw and alive, it has strong root and his style would ripen with time.

Back to the present, the French underground lady voiced Himuro's station and informed him he had to get out if he didn't want to spend his day in the tube. Himuro had no idea as why he remembered this conversation from the past. The unreality of his new goal was slowly making him aware of all the things he would have to learn. He was far away from his own dreams, but he could help Atsushi one to become true.

~°~

Leo had tosit down when Atsushi explained to everyone what their next job would be. Neither of them had the time to feel sorrow about the canceled show. Their mind was already focused and set up on the next level. Himuro felt heart lightened from the atmosphere. He thought the next collection would rest on Atsushi's shoulders, but there was an unexpected team spirit in the studio.

After the explanation finished, Leo led Himuro away, while Atsushi locked himself in his office.

"We will have to prepare you while Atsushi is working on his new ideas. In the first days we aren't really useful, we are just supportive of him. This time is different, I'll have to train you if I understood. Well, it'll be more like support you because I'm not the one who will coach you. You will see that being a model is hard, so good luck."

"Do you have any experience as a model Leo ?"

"I did some early show for Atsushi a long time ago, and I would rather not talk about it." Leo winked, but it was more a code to say this part of his past was locked and buried and anyone who dares mentioned it would die.

"First we will have to call your coach." Leo informed.

Himuro started being aware he wouldn't do anything artistic anymore. He would become the canvas, the painting, but he wouldn't contribute to the creation. It didn't sadden him, but he was filled with new apprehensions. It was an unknown world.

While Leo took out his phone and started searching in his contact list someone climbed the stairs. Himuro never met that person, but he recognized her face immediately. He had been fascinated by her stern look and her simple beauty and meeting her in real wasn't less intimidating. She was Atsushi's main model, she made most of the shooting of his collections, she took the lead in almost every show and Himuro understood immediately she would be his coach.

"Araki! I was trying to call you!" Leo shouted behind Himuro.

"Atsushi explained everything to me." She had a steady and calm voice which probably confirmed a strong personality. Himuro was grateful she spoke in English.

Her long black hair weren't combed in any peculiar way. She wore a black suit who gave her a solemn look. She was in her mid forty but looked much younger. Her gaze fell upon Himuro.

"So it's the kid I have to train before the big day? I see..."

Himuro didn't know what she saw.

"Without him I think we would never had this opportunity." Leo explained. "But he got no experiences, he is an artist so he isn't on the podium.

"This should be alright, Nice to meet you Himuro, my name is Araki Masato, I have been a model for Atsushi since he started being a designer. I look forward to working with you. I was a literary teacher in Japan and Atsushi's art teacher. "

Himuro returned her greeting and felt the tension ease. He was glad to meet someone who surely inspired Atsushi a lot. He probably held the same affection for her than Himuro had for Alex.

"Are you afraid?" she asked him.

"I'm excited , nervous and very ignorant about what will happen."

"I'm here to guide you. Firstly, here is a list Atsushi sent me. One : talk in English, two : teach him to be a model, three: he must be depilated. So, we have a lot of work to do."

~°~

"You look exhausted Muro-chin..." Atsushi sounded genuinely worried.

"You knew this would happen, Araki is merciless." Atsushi smiled as if he knew exactly the calvary he was putting his friend through. "I revised my judgment on the world, it's madness that women have to depilate themselves so much ... I didn't know my legs could sting so much. Was it necessary? I will have to show my legs?"

"I am not sure yet, but it's better if you get used to it before the show." Atsushi didn't show any sympathy. Himuro wondered if he tried this torture before."I know a good place for the days where I'm feeling a bit down. I can show it to you if you want."

"Sure, good idea." Anything that could make him forget his legs were on fire would be a good idea.

Himuro started to list in his mind the kind of place where Atsushi could take him. Other people would take him in a park, in a pub or maybe even in a church. He knew Atsushi would take him to a bakery or that kind of place. He smiled to himself when the truth was revealed. He was feeling the tiredness in his already exhausted legs when they climbed until the cupcake shop who looked like a little piece of heaven in this narrow street. A bright purple frontage who matched Atsushi's hair made the place lively and couldn't escape his eyes.

"Miss cupcake? What is so special about this place?"

"I got a deduction on the price."

Himuro laughed at the explanation and followed Atsushi inside the little shop. There were only two or three tables with some chairs and a little bar with a kitchen behind.

"Muk-kun!!!"

A clear voice rang inside the shop, a woman as bright as her shop stormed at the bar to greet them. She had light pink hair tie in a bun and a mint apron.

" _ça fait tellement longtemps_!!" (It's been a while) Himuro often forget he was in France when he was in company of Atsushi. " _Tu prends comme d'habitude? Oh tu as amené un ami ! Installez-vous à une table, je vous apporte un menu!_ " (Do you take the usual? Oh you brought a friend! Take a seat, I'll bring you a menu)

" _Pas la peine, il prendra la même chose que moi, c'est moi qui invite_." (Not worth, he will take the same thing as me, I'll pay.)

" _Très bien, très bien, tu restes quand même_ ?" (very good, very good, you'll stay ?)

" _Oui on a besoin de se reposer_." (yes we need to rest)

They took a seat next to the window, really quickly the pink haired girl brought them two chocolate cupcakes with purple icing and little silver ball on top.

" _Je m'appelle Satsuki Momoi, je suis une vielle amie de Muk-kun, c'est plutôt rare qu'il amène des amis ici_ !" Himuro understood that she was talking to him, but he just politely smiled and tried to speak by himself with an awful accent.

" _Je ne...pale...pas tulès bienu fulançais_." (I don't speak French very well) Satsuki made a silent "oh" with her mouth and pout toward Atsushi placing her hands on her hips to scold him.

" _Muk-kun tu aurais pu me le dire!! Je peux parler en japonais?_ " (Muk-kun you could have told me!! Can I talk in Japanese?) Himuro understood " _japonais_ " and he was happy a lucky coincidence made all of Atsushi's friends Japanese.

" _Tu peux parler en anglais, il vient de New York_." (You can speak English, he comes from New York)

"I'm sorry I didn't know, this idiot couldn't have warned me ! My name is Satsuki Momoi, I'm an old friend of Muk-kun. Nice to meet you !"

"Nice to meet you too. My name is Tatsuya Himuro, I'm working with Atsushi for _Mille Feuille_."

"Oh! It's pretty rare that Muk-kun bring people from work here!"

"Muro-chin had a tough week and your shop is close to his place."

Himuro took time to notice his words, but then asked himself if Atsushi had thought it would be shorter for Himuro to walk to his apartment or if Atsushi had the intention to sleep at his place. While he was lost in his own questions he missed a part of the conversation.

"You could bring Tatsuya." Satsuki offered.

"Yes, he is an artist it will probably interest him." Himuro felt uneasy and joined the conversation.

"I'm sorry I didn't follow, where do you want to bring me?"

"A close friend of mine" start to re-explain Satsuki. "Is making a _vernissage_ in his gallery in a few weeks and I was asking if Muk-kun could come. As I just learn that you are an artist I think you should go take a look , maybe Muk-kun could introduce you to people!"

"Oh it sounds interesting, well if Atsushi is going."

"You can tell Kuro-chin we'll pass."

"Okay I'll text you the details later!" Momoi happily said before the conversation was cut by two clients who entered the shop. " _Bienvenue_!" and after her greetings she was behind her bar to take the command.

"She is a very cheerful person!" Himuro said while observing the young woman.

"Yes, but she makes really good cupcake." Himuro smiled at the use of the "but", it wasn't a bad side of her personality he pointed out.

"What are you doing after that?"

Himuro realized he didn't taste his cupcake while Atsushi had already finished his. He bit the pastry and followed Atsushi's eyes who stayed frozen on the cake. He made a gesture to give Atsushi the cake who shook his head lightly. Himuro smiled and just slid the cake along the table. Atsushi mumbled his gratitude and accepted it.

"We are going home."

Atsushi finally answered his mouth full and Himuro didn't ask which home he was talking about. There were only two possibilities either Atsushi followed him or he would take the subway.

"Oh Muk-kun! _Avant que j'oublie_ " (before I forget) Satsuki finished serving her clients "J'ai ce que tu m'as demandé, Leo n'en avait pas?" (I have what you asked for, Leo didn't have one?)

" _Non, c'était pas la bonne taille, merci._ " (No, it wasn't the right size, thank you.)

Himuro stayed foreign to the exchange, but the backpack she brought picked his curiosity. They stayed some more minutes and then wished Satsuki goodbye before heading toward Himuro's apartment. He had the answer to his question and couldn't keep the smile from his face while walking beside Atsushi toward his apartment.

_To be continued._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nda : I planned to make Araki talk more in this chapters but I'll concentrate on her in chapter 10 (I'm glad she finally appeared), and next chapter will exclusively be about Himuro and Atsushi so look forward to it !! (I'll try to post it this week or next Monday cause I won't be home after and I won't be able to write until July after that...)


	9. coup de pinceau

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nda: Since I didn't updated since a long time (sorry about that), I worked twice as much and I offer you two chapters this week !! I hope you'll enjoy them. (so I save you the cliff at the end of this chap, well it wasn't an unbearable one but still)  
> I guess this chapter is a bit Rated M... I don't really know at which point it can be considerate M but even if it's not much it's still sexual content.

~°~

Momoi's backpack became Himuro's obsession. He could ignore his curiosity if Atsushi had not hint the content was for him. Atsushi was still asleep and hooked to Himuro's body precluding him to catch a glimpse of what was inside the bag. Himuro sighed loudly and abandoned his quest. Now, he needed to find a more comfortable position. Atsushi shifted a little, a spark of hope lit Himuro's heart, he turned in the bed, his back now facing Atsushi. He gasped when two strong arms brought him back against Atsushi's torso and trapped him as a koala would a branch. Disappointed, Himuro gave up for the night and went back to sleep.

~°~

The easel was arranged in his usual place, the tube of paint were getting lighter each Saturday, pens were less sharp and brushes lose more of their bristles. It became a silent rule, every Saturday, everything would be about the two of them. Silent would take upon their thoughts and Himuro would be able to draw until nightfall.

"I need you to be my model." Atsushi said.

Since he woke up, he was fidgeting, something was on his mind. It never took long before Atsushi reveal his thoughts.

"Didn't I already say I will do it?" Himuro asked.

"I mean, today, I need you to undress. I want to make research for my collection."

"Oh"

Himuro offered a very elaborate reaction. There was no problem for him, he posed before, for Kagami and for Alex. He stepped away from the easel and started undressing. Meanwhile, Atsushi took the backpack and opened it.

"I need you to put these on."

At last, Himuro curiosity was rewarded, but surprise substituted the other feelings. Atsushi hold out a pair of black heels and black shorts to Himuro. First thing that crossed his mind : he would not be naked, second : he never put on heels before.

"This won't be very pleasant to wear, so if you don't want it's okay."

"No, don't worry, I will do it."

How many knew things would he encounter while staying beside Atsushi. It was part of the fun, experimenting. He would know if he liked the experience only if he tested it. He quickly got changed and put on the short. It was tight, but not uncomfortable, he was used to tight underwear and jeans. Then, he slipped in the heels, they seemed to be seven centimeters tall.

"How did you know my size?"

"It's marked on your other shoes." Way to make him sound like he asked something stupid.

"Does it hurt?" Atsushi asked.

"For now it's alright, does it look alright? I'm not sure I'll be able to walk on this."

"You look good Muro-chin."

Atsushi took his place behind the easel. He picked a tube of black paint, put some on the palette and came back in front of Himuro.

"I just need you to stand upright. Let some space between your legs and let your hands fall along your hips."

"Like this?"

Atsushi hummed in agreement while tying his hair into a ponytail.

"Tell me if it's too much for you."

For one split second Himuro thought about the heels. Before realizing it was not what Atsushi was referring to. He stayed stiff like a rock, then moved his head just slightly to see Atsushi dig his index finger in the black paint. He saw Atsushi's hand getting closer from him. He closed his eyes, took a little step back before he felt Atsushi finger circling his neck. The paint was cold against his skin. It made him shiver, but beyond, he felt smooth skin and gentle touch.

"Atsushi?" Himuro asked dumbfounded.

"I'm going to paint directly on you. I did well to ask you to shave, it will be easier to wash."

While Atsushi was talking, his finger took more paint and applied it from his shoulder to his torso, tracing lines Himuro could not see, but only feel. His heart rhythm accelerated and there was nothing he could do to calm it. He searched for Atsushi's eyes in hope of some answers, but he met a wall. Atsushi was too deeply concentrated in his work. From Atsushi point of view, Himuro was not physically in the roomanymore, he became a canvas, a sheet of paper, something to be mold and it was in his better intention not to move. He had never seen Atsushi look so intense and it did not do anything to help him stay impassive.

Atsushi's finger traced a serpentine line along his torso, until it met his boxer. If Atsushi was not so slow and finical maybe Himuro would not have gasp. He bit his lips the second time Atsushi moved down. He summoned all his will to stay calm during the process. It was hard not to shift while his belly was touched.

The incapacity to decipher his next move made Himuro felt at mercy and vulnerable. Himuro completely stopped breathing when the line passed across his nipples. Atsushi did not linger too much on this part, but the light, unexpected touch made his body twitch with arousal.

Himuro hoped the next part would be easier. After all, Atsushi only traced a circle on his shoulder. Thus, he traced it several times, slowly, to make sure the paint was uniform. Himuro closed his eyes and asked himself if Atsushi was not teasing him. It was hard to say because even focused, Atsushi's face always looked bored. There was no playful glint in his eyes or a glimpse of excitement. He was serious and his eyebrow lightly frown made him look all the more intense.

Himuro felt ashamed, breathing through his nose became difficult and he had to reach for air to survive. It was small touch, with no intention and yet it has been too long since the last time Himuro has been touched in this way. His breath did not return to normal with Atsushi finger along his ribs, forming line from his belly to his back and coming back.

It was possible to ignore the pounding he felt in his hips if he let enough air goes through his mouth. He could still control himself. His breathing was loud, but it helped calm down his heartbeat. The room was silent and he was aware of everything about him. The way he breathed, the rhythm of his heart. Everything seemed too loud to his hear.

Atsushi move to take care of his back. He joined the lines he made on his torso. Atsushi paused for some second. With his clean thumb he started tracing a familiar circle pattern between Himuro's scapulas. Himuro leaned into the touch, it felt so long before someone traced the ink pattern of his old tattoo.

"What does it mean?"

Atsushi curiously asked without stopping his touch. It was a plain black circle, nothing too fancy and he could easily hide it. They chose it for this reason. It could have been done in another spot, but Kagami said he liked seeing it on his back. Where only he knew where it was.

"The circle means, perfection, infinity, one and all. It's a tattoo we decided to share with my brother..."

"You have a brother?"

"Well, he isn't really my blood brother, he just called me like that one day because I taught him a lot about art."

"This brother of you got the exact same tattoo?"

"Yes..."

It was the proof that nothing was infinite. Except for this tattoo that neither of them could wash off in the shower and who would only disappear with their rotting corpses. He had willingly let Kagami mark him forever and now he was willingly letting Atsushi marking him with ephemeral means.

The conversation left Himuro a bit of respite to breathe. Instantly after Atsushi put paint on his elbows, as if he was putting some bandage. He made a large circle around his elbows, then two smaller around his arms. Then, he applied paint on his hands. Himuro never realized how sensitive his palms and fingers could be. Every hand movement were stolen from him until the paint dried. It was a good thing because at this point he just wanted to assault Atsushi. How easy would it be to grip his neck and kiss him, darkening his body with the paint to only let ugly smudges over both of them.

If the hand was a struggle, he totally lost it when Atsushi traced circle around his thighs. He started from the inside and expanded the line to the side to make a full lap. Himuro closed his eyes, but the sensation could not make him escape from the reality. His shame grew at the same time as his erection. He bit his lips harder, he could not tighten his fist they were still drying. Two circles passed, then four and if Atsushi noted his condition he did not say a word about it.

The next lines were a sort of cross along his thighs, it could have passed if his blood stopped throbbing and made every slight touch painful. Atsushi took care of the back of his legs two, tracing the big 'X' from his ass to his knees. Himuro tried to think about things less alluring than his boss knelt in front of him, but his mind was completely blank, he wanted Atsushi to stop caring about the paint and touch him fully. His prayer were not heard and faster than he would have hoped Atsushi stopped touching him at all.

Himuro breath started to calm. Yet, he could not do anything about his body condition apart waiting for it to subside.

"Muro-chin..."

Atsushi voice was the same as usual. He wanted to ask something, but Himuro could not face him, neither open his eyes or speak in his current situation.

He jolted when he felt fingers across his forehead. Atsushi was removing his bang from in front of his eyes.

"Open your eyes Muro-chin."

Himuro was so used to have half of his vision clouded by his hair, he was left surprised by the unexpected opening field. Atsushi face was so serious it was almost scary. They stared at each other for a few seconds.

"You shouldn't hide your face."

Himuro blushed for no reason, he was already hot and flushed so it went unnoticed.

"I always let my hair grew like that." He articulated.

"Hmm ... No you are right, keep it hidden."

Himuro raised one eyebrow, he could not reflect on those words. His hair fell back at their right place and Atsushi took a step away.

"Can I take pictures?"

The sudden change of subject startled him. Himuro could still feel himself being hard. He was almost naked, covered in black paint, but he did not hesitate when he agreed. Atsushi went to search his camera in the backpack. He left Atsushi take a few pictures. He kept his eyes open this time. He felt more and more at ease, even given the situation.

"We should wash you now, it's no good to keep the paint for too long."

"Why didn't you use body make up?"

Atsushi looked at him, thoughtful.

"I hadn't thought about that ... Sorry..."

Himuro smiled and started walking to the bathroom. He ignored his wobbly legs and put one feet in front of the other. Soon it would be over and back to normal.

"Why didn't you tell me about your plan?"

"I didn't plan to paint on you before I saw you standing there in fact..."

So, he did it on a whim. Himuro felt a bit reassured, he felt less trapped to know it was not Atsushi's first intention.

Himuro had a bathtub in his bathroom with a showerhead. Atsushi regulated the temperature of the water and then washed his hands with soap. The paint slowly get off as a second skin he could easily peel.

"Take off your boxer and get in." Atsushi instructed.

"I can wash myself don't worry."

"It will be easier and faster if I help you." His voice was not insistent, it seemed like common sense to him.

Himuro could not blame Atsushi for being blind to his embarrassment. He became quite good at not showing any emotion on his face and even if Atsushi was perceptive. He could not read a blank page. Himuro should be honest and told him he was embarrassed. He was given a choice, Atsushi's hand on his body again or just the cold hard tiles to support him and his weak knees.

He turn off his thoughts and took off his boxer. In the meantime his lower body get back to a decent view, leaving him reassured. He got rid of the heels. His feet looked a bit swollen, but the heels has been the last of his preoccupation. It was only now that his feet was freed that he realized how uncomfortable it was.

"Does it hurt?" Atsushi asked with consideration.

"Not so much."

"I'm too heavy to wear those, my weight is pushing too much and it hurts quickly..."

"Do you want to wear heels?"

Atsushi just shrugged instead of answering. Himuro tried to picture Atsushi with heels and he was not sure if he wanted more height difference between them.

Atsushi took the showerhead in his hand and started to wash Himuro's back first. The paint seemed to go easily except in the part where it was trapped by hair, even fuzz was enough to catch it. It sting a bit to tear it off, but not as much as the wax they used to shave his legs. Atsushi had to use his hands to take off the paint. This time it was his whole palm and all his fingers who touched Himuro.

He thought he could do it until Atsushi passed his hands on his hips. His fingers guided the paint to his back, toward his hips, slowly brushed his rear before his finger strongly grasped his thighs. Himuro searched the wall with his hands to find support. It was pointless to say his erection came back and as Atsushi continued to wash him unaware precum started leaking. Himuro rubbed his hands together to get rid of the paint. He just wanted to bite his hand to focus on another part of his body.

By the time Atsushi was fully done with his legs Himuro was fully erected and he had to turn around for Atsushi to wash his front. He felt the water-shoot ascend along his back. Atsushi did not ask him to turn and put his hands on his torso from behind.

"Doesn't it hurt?"

Himuro had no idea of what he was talking about. He refused to take his hand out of his mouth to ask. One of Atsushi's hand took his wrist to make him stop the biting and soothed the teeth's mark with his thumb.

"You can take care of it if you want, it'll take a few more minutes before I clean everything, there is still some paint stuck on you."

Atsushi's voice was low and right next to his ear. He did not ponder his proposition long. He used his free hand to grasp himself, just to release a bit of the pressure. It was enough. He did not have to jerk off in front on his boss. His knees almost gave up, he was over-thinking the situation and felt dizzy because of the hot water. Atsushi's arm automatically caught him and made him sit in the bathtub.

Atsushi rubbed his chest with soap and water. The paint left place to red marks on his skin. Atsushi started to wash his nipples so without thinking about anything Himuro let his head tip back and he slowly moved his hand along his stiff cock. He mimiced Atsushi's round circle around his nipple to the base of his cock. Then, he closed his eyes and accelerated the pace to put an end to this situation. If Atsushi was watching him he did not care. His hand slid thanks to the water, facilitating his stroke. He soon reached his climax and let out a final gasp before panting for more air.

He did not jerk off a lot usually. He did not feel a lot of sexual frustration and he could easily find a girlfriend or a boyfriend for that matters. Weirdly he could hardly think of another time where masturbation felt so bad. It was purely to release his body from the frustration and he felt angry at himself for feeling desire in a non-sexual situation. His climax did not last long and it was not the usual bliss. It felt mechanical and almost painful because the pressure of doing something he should not be doing stressed him more than it aroused him.

By curiosity his eyes took a glimpse of Atsushi's crotch and nothing abnormal seemed to happen here. He was wondering if Atsushi was completely straight, or maybe impotent. The sight of another man was not supposed to turn him on too, but it left Himuro even more empty.

"Sorry..." Himuro whispered.

"Are you turn on by me touching you?"

"Do you really have to ask?" Himuro's voice sounded more harsh than he attended. Though his anger was not directed toward Atsushi.

"I don't feel the same Muro-chin..." Atsushi looked the floor and for the first time he did not look so confident about everything. He stopped the water and gave a towel to Himuro.

"I don't want you. I don't want to have sex with you. Ever."

Without another word Atsushi left the bathroom. Himuro stayed motionless in the bathtub, his brain was off, incapable to think about this statement and why it hurt so much.

_To be continued_


	10. première forme

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nda : french things still in Italic

~°~

 

"Ever"

It seemed to be a definitive word.

Himuro could hear the word stuck on repeat in his mind and associate it with the disgust he read on Atsushi's face. He could deal with Atsushi not wanting him, with Atsushi being just a colleague, but he did not know how to deal with disgust.

"You seem gloomy today Tatsuya, more than your emo bang of yours usually make you look. Do you want a kiss to make you feel better?" Leo brought a white chocolate mocha from Starbuck and offered it to Himuro with a wink. He guessed Himuro would need a high dose of sugar this morning.

"I don't look emo." Himuro retorted pretending to be offended.

"Something happened sugar?" Leo sounded a bit worried. Himuro knew his face did not show sadness, but maybe the few hours of sleep he got made him look like a zombie.

"I messed things up with Atsushi."

"We all do that, he isn't the easiest person to get along with. Don't tell him I said that." Leo winked again and bumped Himuro with one shoulder. Himuro smiled, he would be glad to think about something else, but his personal problem with Atsushi influenced over his job too.

"Good morning, Leo, Tatsuya." Araki entered the studio dress in a black suit. "Today, you will learn how to walk. Atsushi told me this morning you will have to wear heels during the show so I apologize in advance."

"Atsushi told you that this morning? Does he still want me to model?"

"Of course ... Why wouldn't he?"

Tatsuya dodged the question and just said he did not have heels. Only then did he notice Araki had Atsushi's backpack in hands with the heels he wore Saturday.

~°~

"Araki, should we tell him about Atsy?"

Himuro was changing himself in another room, so Leo jumped on the occasion to talk.

"Do you think they are this close?" Araki voice was just a hushed murmur.

"Atsy dedicates him a fashion show. This morning Tatsuya said he messed up with him, what if he tried to kiss him and Atsy reacted in an insensitive manner?"

"It's their problem, we don't have to interfere, what if we tell him and then, he acts in a considerate way? I am not sure how Atsushi would define himself, but he needs to explain it to Tatsuya on his own."

"I just wanted to be helpful."

"We risk to aggravate things, it can't be this bad if Atsushi still wants him as a model."

"Tatsuya seemed to be worried enough to think it wasn't the case."

"It means his mistake wasn't a big one, or maybe he isn't even at fault. If Atsushi started to hate him we would know it..."

They abruptly stopped the conversation when Himuro came back wearing his black heels, a black slim and a large white t-shirt. Saturday he just wore the heels and did not walk a lot with them. Thus, his footstep were as gracious as a toddler who learns to walk. He was afraid to sprain his ankles as he missed to fall a few times.

"Welcome in hell Tatsuya." Leo joked.

~°~

Before starting anything, Himuro tried to walk normally with the heels. Leo let out a jealous sigh, Himuro was a natural. It took him some step to assimilate how to not fall or wobble on his legs, but once he took the necessary assurance and made his feet 'clac' on the ground he was able to walk as usual.

"Now let's get serious." Araki announced. "You will imagine you walk on a line, the podium will be a straight line, but you need to walk right at the center of it. Try to walk a line, without turning at the end."

Himuro started walking and Atsushi chose this time to step into the room, without passing a second glance to Himuro. He asked something to Araki and went back to his office. Himuro rolled his shoulder and restarted walking, pushing aside all the thoughts of Atsushi who might disturb his concentration.

"You looked as if you had a broom up your ass darling." He heard Leo critic him from the other side of the room. Himuro turned and walked back trying to be less stiff. He looked at Leo with an arrogant smirk and turned in front of him looking at him from behind.

"Is my ass looking better now?" He raised an eyebrow. Leo started clapping.

"My apologies, your rear seems just fine from my point of view. You really are a natural." They both laughed for a split second before a rolled up magazine hit them both on the head.

"Stop your stupid flirtation, we have works to do!" Araki stated in a cold tone. "Do it again, like the second time, it seemed more natural because your didn't over-think. You will see your concentration focus on your goal, on the point you must attain, here it was Leo, set yourself an imaginary one if you want to. You will see it's an eerie feeling. Everything around you disappear and you just walk."

Himuro walked again, trying to act different on every line to get the more advice from it. He once tried to wiggle more than usual which owed him a hit from Araki and a whistle from Leo.

"You need to walk straight and without moving your hips too much."

"Yeah except if you want to give all the journalists in the room an awkward boner." Leo said as a matter of fact. It made Atsushi's laugh which was the goal of all Leo's weird remark today. Araki did not comment on that one.

"You have to walk with your hands loose, and your shoulder straight, but without looking stiff. You do that very well so it's a good thing. I thought your training would be more complicated. Don't flatter yourself you still got a lot of work to do."

"I count on you Araki, I don't want to mess things up."

"You won't."

"Will I met another model before the show? It could help me see a professional first."

"It's a good idea, I don't know if Atsushi got ideas about whom he wants to hire yet."

"You seem to be his muse for this collection so he is probably projecting every creation on you for now." Leo informed.

"If we need to find a lot of Asian boy like Himuro we should maybe talk about it to Kise soon, he is in Milan for now if I remember."

"Yeah I'll talk with Atsy about it. Tatsuya, after working, let's go grab a bite!"

"Sure, if you want."

Leo left the two of them train some more and went to Atsushi's office to talk with him. Leo usually found the beginning of a project boring, he did not have a lot to do and could not find the motivation to work on personal projects. He was glad to have Tatsuya this time to make things more lively.

~°~

His feet were on fire. It was alright with the heels on, but once he took them off fire started spreading along with pain. He survived at walking to the starbuck instead of the bar Leo wanted to take him to, but he needed to sit. Every cell of his brain were focused on his dead feet and he just wanted to use his frappuccino to ease the pain. So, he did not really get why Leo was asking him if he was gay.

"I'm not, well I don't care about label. Why that question?" Tatsuya just wanted to take his shoes off at this point.

"I was just wondering if you were attracted to guy." Leo had an indecipherable smile. "I don't ask for me! Just out of curiosity."

"I'm completely obvious concerning Atsushi? That's why?" Leo smile fall at once.

" I... I didn't mean it like that ! It's not that obvious, it's just what you said this morning!"

"It was obvious, and he found out." Himuro sighed and let himself sink even more into the couch to stretch out his legs.

He crossed path with Atsushi some more time in the studio today and they did not exchange a look. Himuro was watching him, but did not get any look back.

"Damn I take you here to change your mind, not to talk about it, well if you want to talk about it it's fine with me but..."

"Did you go out with him? Or maybe he is straight..."

"Atsy ? No way I would go out with him, not my type at all. He is nice to look at, but without talking about his personality I would feel like a diabetic staying all day in front of a bakery. It would kill me."

Himuro wondered about what Leo told him, but it made no sense to him.

"Oh and he isn't straight either."

"Yeah so I'm just not his type."

"He rejected you?"

"More or less I guess. I didn't have a lot of hope in the beginning, I guess he is cuddling with anyone..."

"You guys cuddled?" Leo smile grew a lot "Despite the fact it's adorable, I don't think Atsushi cuddle with anyone, he don't let that much people enter his life. For starter : he has no friends. We are colleague and I got friends outside of the job..."

"He got friends, I met this pink haired girl."

"Let me finish, there is this weird group of him, part of his past. Satsuki is a part of it, with Seijuro Akashi. I don't know the whole story, Araki knows more about it I think. I'm not sure we can call those people friends to Atsushi, maybe they are, but I don't know at which point Atsushi can count on them... Outside from that, he got no one, so I don't think he cuddles with anyone."

The last sentence made Himuro slightly blush, everything became confused in his mind.

"You still got a lot to learn from him, but if he opens up to you one day, it will be a big step. I hope he will, I can only support him with the studio."

Leo could say they were just colleague, but Leo cared about Atsushi in some way. It reassured Himuro, he wanted to learn more about those old friends of Atsushi. He could go see Satsuki again and ask her questions, but he wanted to learn things from Atsushi. He needed to find out why he did pushed Himuro away so strongly. He did not have any intention to let him go, he wanted to work for the studio and he wanted to win the place in the fashion week. Not for money or fame, but because he wanted to stay by Atsushi's side, win with him.

Unlucky as he was Atsushi entered the Starbuck. Leo immediately spotted him and rather than letting him alone, once Atsushi had ordered he made a sign for him to sit with them. Atsushi was good at ignoring people he did not want to talk with. After five little minutes, Leo pretended he forgot something in the studio. Atsushi was dense enough to not take the clue, but Leo was leaving them time to discuss. Himuro shot a dark gaze to Leo who just give him a sweet comprehensive smile. Once alone Atsushi declared he should go home too. He had already finished his two donuts and was planning to take his muffin with him.

"Why did you cornered me like that yesterday?" Himuro shot out of the blue" I thought about it and it makes no sense. It is true that I let you touch me because I am interested in you, but why did you painted on me? You could have use a brush! I hardly see how paint is going to be useful to create clothes and..."

Tatsuya stayed cold and calm, the lack of sleep has been filled with all those interrogations. He felt ashamed about what happened in the bathtub, but Atsushi could have stopped if he had a problem with it, he is the one who said it was okay in the first place.

"I prefer to use my finger when I create things, I don't like tools." Atsushi started to explain, his eyes locked up on the wall next to him, looking away.

"Why did you stay in the bathroom?"

"To help you washing."

"Why did you gave me the permission to touch myself while you were still here ?" He replayed the scene, searching all the answer, cornering him like he would an infant who lied about a mistake he did.

"Curiosity."

"That's what porn is for."

"I hate sex and I don't understand why people are making a fuss about it. I hate it."

The atmosphere dropped all of a sudden, Atsushi eyes were dark and chilling. His voice left the bored tone aside to get lowering. Himuro just stayed speechless for a while. Atsushi had a gift to make conversation really uncomfortable, but something evident hit Himuro.

"You don't have to like sex."

Atsushi looked at him as if he just informed him the earth was flat. If Atsushi did not like sex it was not a problem, as long as he did not hate him. Himuro could not voice his worry properly so he choose the safest path and reassured Atsushi. He just wanted everything to be okay between them. He walked closer and slowly slide his thumb in Atsushi's hand to grasp it. He just hold it and smile.

"It's okay, Atsushi, do you want to see 'cloudy with a chance of meatballs' tonight at my place ?"

Atsushi just hummed in agreement, Himuro smiled even more at his embarrassment. They were both happy to let down the subject. Himuro wondered if Atsushi was afraid of rejection out of being different ? Was it why he played the 'I don't care about anything' act and just filled himself up with candy ? He wondered if Atsushi did not felt a bit alone.

~°~

"Muro-chin...food..."

At this point Atsushi was completely slouching on the couch, Himuro sit on the other side, his hand on Atsushi's legs. He turn off the TV and as a signal Atsushi's belly let out a loud grumble.

"Okay move, I'll see what we got."

Himuro get up and started an expedition in the kitchen. That movie made them both hungry, but they were too lazy to cook during the movie.

"..."

"So ?"

"I got nothing... I completely forgot to buy food..."

"There must be something, your kitchen can't be empty!"

"Butter, salt, oil, ooh wait ! Do you like ravioli?"

"Anything is fine."

One does always have a box of ravioli at home, as a last resort. So Himuro cooked it and came back on the couch to eat with whatever stupid reality show was on tv that night. They just ended up on Gulli, the kid channel, to watch cartoons.

Once they ended eating, Himuro felt awkward in his own house. Everything was back to normal, but he did not felt at ease. It's just then he realized Atsushi was already asleep on the couch. He thought about leaving him with a blanket, but he dare to wake him up. He shook his shoulder.

" _Pas maintenant... Il fait pas jour..._ " (not now, it's not day yet)

"Come to bed, your body is too large for the couch it'll hurt tomorrow."

" _J'ai pas eu de glace en dessert m'man._ " (I didn't have ice cream in dessert mum)

"Argh wake up I don't get your French mumbling !!"

Himuro lose his patience and just tried to make Atsushi roll on the floor to wake him. Which was useless, he was not strong enough to move one hundred kilogram from his couch. Luckily or not, Atsushi grabbed him by the waist and started to roll by himself, forgetting he was not in bed and they both fall on the floor. The giant woke up disorientate.

"Bed... now !"

Himuro ordered, massaging his head who took the impact.

"Sorry Muro-chin..."

Atsushi get up and started walking toward the bedroom, already planning to fall in the bed and go back to sleep.

"Don't forget to brush your teeth, and take off your clothes you don't have a change for tomorrow !!" Himuro barked while trying to get back on his feet. He heard Atsushi mumble, but when he reached the bathroom Atsushi was diligently brushing his teeth with the spare toothbrush he got.

Once ready they both went to bed, Himuro watched the ceiling and then the men beside him. Atsushi was already rolled up in fetus position, ready to sink. Himuro cursed under his breath and get up to leave his side of the bed and meet the other one. He get under the cover behind Atsushi and copy his position. He anchored his knee behind Atsushi's and let his head rest against his back. One of his hand circling Atsushi's waist. It felt weirdly right and he get accustomed to it more and more. His body was a few centimeter apart from the edge of the bed and he did not care. He left a kiss on Atsushi's back, and followed him to sleep.

_To be continued._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nda : Ten chapter guys ;__ ; I havn't post a fic so long in yeaars so I'm pretty glad I came so far with this one (and I'm still not bored of it, usually I drop fic because I think they arn't good enough, I try not to be harsh with myself on this one and I do it for the fun of it and because Mura is a precious character to me, I still got a lot to say about him !)   
> So thank you to all the one who read it, I don't ask for review but feel free to leave one and thanks for the kudos.


	11. Inspiration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nda : french things in italic (poor Himuro who still suck at French... well not like he spent his week end learning anyway...)

The mattress never felt harder than this morning, wait, it was not the mattress, but the cold hard ground. Himuro was sleeping on the ground, with nothing on his almost naked body to cover him. He woke up with aches in parts of his body he did not know he could feel. He cracked his neck from left to right and get up. A giant body was spread over his bed, sleeping on his belly and drooling on a pillow. Himuro was conflicted between kicking him or joining him. He did neither and walked to the bathroom. Tuesday was still not a synonym for week-end.

His brain was shut while getting himself ready. At 8 am he decided to go searching for fresh croissant at the bakery. He learned the odor of food was the only thing able to get Atsushi out of bed in the morning. He came back a bit drench, he forgot to take an umbrella with him and Paris's weather was not always nice. One minute after he laid the key of the apartment on the bar and take off his jacket he felt strong arms catching him in a strong embrace.

" _B'jour_ Muro-chin, _b'jour_ breakfast."

Atsushi let go of him to greet his breakfast correctly. First with his hands then down in throat. In the way down his second croissant Himuro remembered something he needed to ask.

"You didn't really explain to me why you needed to paint on me? More like, what did you paint? It's not the usual way to create clothes, is it?"

"Well." Atsushi did not stop munching on his pain au chocolat while talking. "I have some kind of theme for the collection, I just followed my inspiration. Actually I would like to do more research, but I can use a dummy."

"Now that I'm prepared we shouldn't be in that kind of awkward situation again, so if you want to do that again it's fine by me."

"There are other experiments that I want to do where I don't need to touch you."

"As long as you explain beforehand I can endure anything. What is the theme?"

"You'll see."

Himuro tried to think about it from what happened Saturday. Except he could not decipher the pattern. He did not ask to see the picture and had no idea what the final form could look like. All things considered, he was okay with keeping it a mystery for now.

~°~

"You must not follow the rhythm of the music when you walk. Follow your own rhythm. 1. 2 . 1 . 2. You are the one imposing the cadence if you let yourself be carrying away by the music you won't be able to captivate the public's gaze."

Araki and Himuro had been training all morning without taking the time to lunch. Himuro started walking again. Today, they decided to try with music. He would have never thought walking. Which really, was a simple human movement, would require so much training. It's like everything, if you want to attain perfection you need to do it at plus infinity or not doing it at all. Araki was an excellent teacher, Himuro would have loved to learn literature with her.

"It was better this time, but you moved your shoulders too much. When you concentrate on your foot you forget the rest of your body."

"Yes, I'm still unable to walk without thinking."

"It'll come, when the right motion will be programmed in your body you won't have to think anymore. We need to beat you down if we want it to let indelible mark."

"Pretty way to explain I'll suffer." He laughed.

" _A table_!!" A familiar figure stormed in the room, Leo was enthroned savior of the day. "I brought lunch, avocado salad or tuna salad! Help yourself I'm going to bring his lunch to Atsushi, in a few days I'll have to feed him myself."

Himuro took one of the tuna salad and waited for Leo to come back. Araki invited him to eat, they would need to continue learning and training after lunch. Himuro jumped on the occasion to take off the heels. With the risk of not being able to put them back, but he wanted to make sure he did not get any new blister. Luckily, bandage existed for those because it became a torture. It burned him in the shower and any other shoes became a Calvary. Leo came back, but not empty handed. He was carrying two big black binders.

"Where did you find that?" Araki asked once she saw the binders.

"In the archive. I saw Atsushi draw and it hit me Tatsuya probably never saw them."

"Atsushi's drawing?" Himuro asked.

"His creation before they are transformed in clothes by magical hands." Leo emphasized.

Himuro let his salad on the side and took the binders to plunge himself in old paper darkened by school pencil and bic pen. He closed the first one with his heart beating hard inside his chest. Sometimes you just fell in love with art. When the magic happens it let you struck, sometimes dizzy or very excited.

Atsushi's drawing style was far from perfect. He had good proportion, it was not academic and also different from the other fashion drawing Himuro had seen in the past. There was something pure in those. He could imagine Atsushi let the pencil fall lazily on the paper and let the lines create themselves. He would stripe the paper in repeated motion, go over his lines numerous time for no reason. Some of his lines seemed shaky. He often used a bic and just let it run without keeping him off the paper. Atsushi left himself being rocked by his wants and needs. He probably shut his brain to let the pen do the work for him.

This proved his absolute talent. He could trust himself to not fail and even the less interesting designs had life in their lines. There was soul in those drawing. You could guess Atsushi's personality by watching his work.

"He looks like you just introduce him to the president himself." Leo joked.

"Hollande would certainly not have that effect on him. He is enamored."

"Stop talking as if I wasn't in the room." Himuro retorted while starting to watch the second binder. The works were more recent and he could recognize some of the creations he had seen Araki wear on photography.

"It's what he is doing right now? Drawing the new collection?"

"Absolutely." Leo answered. "I'm sure you will be able to go spy on him later. He doesn't mind company. Well in fact it'll be just as if you weren't in the room. Sometimes I have the impression he is asleep and his hand is possessed by a demon."

Himuro laughed at the thought. A demonic contract would explain so much talent.

"When did he start drawing clothes?" Himuro asked, he felt very curious about Atsushi's past now.

"Wow, way before I met him. I only met him in Paris, he had already created the brand and the studio."

Leo couldn't give more detail so Araki went on."

"I know him since high school in Paris. I was his literary teacher in second year. I think he is drawing clothes since he is a child. He was already drawing in middle school in Japan or Akashi would never have noticed him. They went together in Paris to attend the same high school."

"It must be like a dream coming true for him seeing the brand and the studio." Himuro naively commented. He was in awe by all the work Atsushi had already accomplished so young in his life.

"I don't think so." commented Araki. "I don't think he ever dreamed of creating his own brand and becoming a famous fashion designer. In high school he wrote "tester product" on his orientation paper. It would suit him, to be paid to eat things all day and give his opinion. He just does what he is talented to do and his life get shaped around that. Everything came to him either he wanted it or not. I'm not sure he fulfilled what he wanted and I'm not sure that kid even knows what he wants."

Himuro thought about it, to commit these words to memory and understand Atsushi better. He felt a bit jealous, Atsushi had what himself could not obtain. He was recognized for his work, but it's a path reserved to the one gifted with talent. It's a podium where Himuro had no place. He wondered how Atsushi could not be satiated with his current situation. What does he could want?

He wanted to ask him directly or at least get closer to him in order to find the answer.

"Don't forget to eat your lunch Tatsuya!" Araki called him back to order.

"Sorry." He continued to eat while watching the drawing. He hoped he could see Atsushi working at the end of the day.

~°~

The day ended with more theoretical learning, about the brands and modeling in general. He could not enter this world with knowing nothing about it. The fact that Araki had entered it as a novice too made her more open-minded. She wouldn't riled if he lacked vocabulary or common knowledge.

Himuro concentration started to drift to outer space so Araki ended the lesson. They still had until the end of the week, Araki was in school holidays for now, but soon she will have classes to attend.

Once Araki left the studio, Himuro decided to go observe Atsushi in his office. He discreetly opened the door and without a word he positioned himself behind Atsushi. It was exactly like he imagined, Atsushi was not scratching the paper with passion and ardor. He was pouting, his hair in a quick ponytail. Today he was wearing a sky blue t-shirt with clouds on it, a light pink sweater and mauve pants. All in all it made the impression he looked younger.

Atsushi was always very aware of his surrounding, always watching around him and observing what was happening. He could see everything better than most people and he had this perceptiveness that Himuro liked. Nonetheless, Leo was right, once with a pen in his hands, nothing around him existed anymore. Himuro took a sit and watched him draw.

After five minutes an idea struck him. He left the room as a ghost, he went down the stairs and left the building. He walked quickly down the street. He knew that five minutes away there was a bakery. He bought a strawberry pie and an _éclair au chocolat_ and walked as fast as he could with _pâtisserie_ in his hands back to the studio. He sat back where he was before and put the cakes on the floor next to the chair. Two minutes passed.

"Can I eat them or do I have to pretend they are not for me?" Himuro startled at the sound of Atsushi's voice. It was a little dark after staying silent all day. Atsushi put a giant sheet of paper over his work. Himuro realized he didn't really pay attention at the kind of clothes Atsushi was creating. He regretted he didn't spy with more efficiency.

"Sorry, here you go." He put the square packing with the cakes on the table and let Atsushi cut the ribbon.

"You really do like clothes a lot." Himuro commented.

"Not really, I'm just good at it."

Himuro could feel the lie whose sole use was to end the discussion. He still decided to push his luck. He wanted to see how much of his conversation with Araki was true, his curiosity has not been satisfied.

"If you don't like clothes, why aren't you letting people like this Teppei do the job instead of you?"

"I am better than this guy, even without trying my designs are better. He is the one who should stop. I hate artist who lacks talent and who keep bothering us with their work."

Himuro regretted immediately asking the question. He felt is heart ache and his head got dizzy from memories and old feelings he knew he didn't buried enough. Old and present fear, thoughts he was trying to bury every day. He knew Atsushi was not aiming him with those words, he still took them for himself. For a second he wondered if it was his own lack of talent who bothered him or the hate Atsushi dedicated to those who were bereft of it.

"Are you okay Muro-chin? You look pale ... Here! Eat some!" Atsushi hold a spoon full of cake for him to eat. Himuro shook his head with a smile.

"So ... You think there is no chance that we lose against him?"

Focus on the show should be his priority. His personal doubt should not intervene if he was part of a team.

"Of course we won't. I am more talented than he will ever be."

Atsushi hand land on Himuro's head and stroke his hair as a comfort gesture. He smiled lazily with the spoon in his mouth, letting his fingers run through dark hair until Himuro's face look natural again.

Atsushi did not look superior when he affirmed he was better. Himuro felt respect for this man who was able to recognize his talent and accept it as it was without playing false modesty. He was not arrogant either, after all he could survive in the fashion world with his little studio, a few faithful clients and some fashion show in competition with the biggest brand in the world. They did not live in an era with an easy economy for young people who wanted to start their own business. Atsushi did not seem short on money. It was probably thanks to this Akashi.

The reassurance of their winning reboot his brain and allowed him to think straight again. He was glad he could be of any use for Atsushi.

"If you need me as a model, don't hesitate. Anything for your inspiration. I will do my best to do a great show."

"I know Muro-chin."

Atsushi smiled, it was just in the corner of his lips, a light movement. His eyes lightly crinkled in sincerity. It made Himuro smile back in embarrassment.

"I should probably go home now." Himuro decided. "I'll leave you to work and food and..."

"Do you need help for the grocery?"

"What?"

"Well, you got nothing to eat at home ... I thought you would do some grocery today."

"Oh yes, right, I totally forgot ... Yeah I would not mind some help. Thanks."

Atsushi put the empty box in the trash can and grabbed his purple down jacket before leaving the studio.

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nda : yeah no I'm not going to write the happy couple doing grocery, even if that could be domestically grossly cute. We have reached the point of the fic where little by little you will learn things about Himuro and Atsushi past, and soon it'll be about Himuro's past.  
> On another note, tomorrow I'll start a new job with a weird timetable, meaning I'll work by day and night, sometimes the week end. So my writing time will get diminished. I plan to write at least two chapter per month (so something like a chap every two week)  
> Thanks at everyone who is reading Emulsion !! and you are still free to comment, thanks for those who did.


	12. Ratures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> French things in italic. And there is load of French stuff in chapter 12 and 13... Sorry by advance. 
> 
> I'm sorry it took so long, those two new chapter were important to me and I wanted to write them the best way possible. (still not entirely satisfied, but I can't spend my whole life on those) I was supposed to post them at the end of august, but I got really busy those past weeks.

" _sept heure ce soir ?_ _On y sera._ " [seven p.m tonight ? We will be there.]

  
Atsushi hung up his cell phone and resumed eating his cereal. It was still weird for Himuro, hearing him speak French all of a sudden. He never forget Atsushi was not a natural English speaker because of his accent, but he could not get use to French, despite all the weeks he spent there. It still seems to be so foreign and he was glad he could survive without speaking it. The perks was, he never went out alone. He could do grocery without speaking as long as he paid. It was harder when vendor asked him things. Everyone mistook him for a tourist and thought he would disburse million in _macaron_ and Eiffel tower key-chains.

People here were always in a hurry so he did not get the time to learn that the adjectives in French were put after the noun in French. He just showed his credit card or gave money and two seconds later he fled the shop. He was used to live fast in New York, but it never required him to think. He had left the station before even realizing he took a train in the first place. Reality brought him back in his own flat, people were talking in French and it was not the television.

" _Où est-ce que vous allez à sept heure ce soir_?" [Where are you going at 7p.m tonight ?] Alex had no problem talking in French anymore. Henceforth she could have secret conversation with Atsushi.

"Un ami fait un vernissage pour sa nouvelle exposition." [A friend does a vernissage for his new exhibition] Atsushi clarified.

" _Quel genre d'expo_ ?" [what kind of exhibition ?]

" _Des trucs d'artistes, j'sais pas trop..._ " [arty stuff, I don't really know...]

" _J'peux venir ?_ " [Can I come ?]

"Hmm."

The conversation ended with Atsushi agreeing to something. Himuro thought they were talking about a _vernissage_... wait...

"F*ck I totally forgot your friend's exhibition !!" Himuro exclaimed.

"It's okay Muro-chin. It's tonight. Sat-chin just called me to remember me."

"Time fly so fast..."

"Hmm..."

"Yeah that's why you were too occupied to check on me Tatsuya." Alex laughed.

"You are the one who stopped coming." He retorted.

"As your mother hen I decided to leave you some space. I did well, look the beautiful fowl you found. Plus, you would have called me if you needed anything."

"Thank you for your consideration. I could have died in this arid country and no one would have noticed."

"A tragedy."

"We are taking good care of your son, don't worry." Atsushi humbly announced before sipping the milk of his bowl.

"I had a glimpse of that this morning, he is under good care." Alex smiled.

This morning has been a turmoil. Himuro had to stop the storm named Alex to fall on Atsushi and to kiss him first thing in the morning. He loved her, but at seven am he would have killed her for succeeding in a forbidden task. They woke up sweating and tangled in a weird position. Two people was enough in his bed, three was too much.

Alex came back from a trip with friends and drop off her luggage near the couch. She took off her clothes and fell asleep with them on the bed. Himuro ignored in which position they slept in, but they woke up with Alex in the middle of them. Atsushi took her for a pillow and hugged her with one arm, using her breast as a cushion. The rest of his body was lying on the stomach while Tatsuya had throw one leg around him and one arm across his back. Anybody who would have walked into the room, could have thought the night had been tiresome. They would be wrong.

Two weeks passed since the body paint session and days were mostly the same. Himuro was still training for the show. They tried to make him wear different clothes, thus it gave him a chance to adapt to everything. You do not walk the same way with leather pants or sweat pants and Himuro had to learn how to be irreproachable in both. Himuro had improved a lot those last days, hence as a sort of reward Araki had planned a small photo shoot with one of their friend to test him in front of a viewfinder.

Atsushi was drawing and doing test most of the day. Even on the week end, he decided to stay at his own place and he just visited Himuro when he was too tired to work anymore. He dropped by mostly to eat but Himuro was often too lazy to cook and they ate pizza or Chinese. Himuro couldn't get a glimpse of the drawings, Atsushi was hiding everything and for someone so tall he was good at staying discrete on his work.

"So you don't know the name of the artist for tonight ?"

"No idea, it's going to be a surprise." Himuro informed Alex. He was more interested in meeting Atsushi's friend than in the artist to be honest.

~°~

The smell of petrichor hanged in the air after a small rain swept away the burning sun. Thus, explained why Atsushi was wearing a short overalls by night. It did not explain why there was rose and pink flower on it. Neither why he had a thin headband around the head or fake glasses. Himuro did not comment, maybe Atsushi really needed glasses after all.

Paris was impregnated by the same magic who hit all the cities by night. A strong magic who get timelines conflicted and let child nightmares become true. Himuro felt as lighthearted as a kid in an amusement park. Paris, was not a night city. Truly, once the shop were closed and people ended working there were few people in the streets. Bar's terrace where full when the sun was high or the moon shining, but it ended here.

Except for this little district hid between synagogues, churches, fashion shops and gay bars. Tourist and Parisians sauntered in the streets; couples and friends, ate ice-cream or falafel. They decided to use that road to eat before going to the exhibition.

Satsuki was guiding the little group. Leo and Alex talked about the district and what they saw through the shop window. Himuro and Atsushi were a little behind. Atsushi walked slowly for someone with long legs. He regulated his pace with the one of Himuro; who was admiring the streets and the multitude of different monument now altered into clothes shop; they lighted the streets even in the dark with flashy shoes and silky button up.

Atsushi was eating a lollypop and holding Himuro's hands to be sure they would not get separated in the crowd. Usually it was hard to walk side by side in Paris narrow streets, but in this location not a lot of cars interrupted the flow of pedestrian. Himuro would be difficult to find, for he chose to wear a black v-neck and dark red pants today. The giraffe by his side gifted with the capacity of attention of a goldfish was practically sure to lose him in the crowd.

Leo was talking about the modern art museum " _le Centre Pompidou_ " located a few streets away and how it would be great if they could go some day. Next he talked about his favorite museum, which was the "city of mode and design" on the docks of the Seine.

They passed by the square Leopold Achille who was empty as this hour and stepped on a large street; who was completely deserted. They walked a bit more and turned at the corner of a church who looked like a Greek temple. The gallery was in the next narrow street with a turn at the end; who make it looked like a dead end. Except for a shop at the crossroad and a rich hotel at the end of the turn, the gallery was the only living building in the street.

Atsushi stopped and stayed frozen in front of the shop. It was named "woo young mi" and displayed what appears to be expensive fashion clothes for men.

"I should come back here one day, I knew she had a shop in Paris, but I never bothered to come see it."

"You know the designer?" Alex asked.

"Only from reputation, Asian designer in Paris are not that common. It looks a lot like what this Teppei guy is creating so I don't have much interest in it, and it's only men clothes."

"I really like her clothes." Interrupted Leo. "It's simple, but it looks so comfy to wear. Even if it wouldn't look good on someone like me."

"It's too plain, you deserve better." Atsushi said, honest as ever.

After this little chat they walked toward their goal. The frontage of the gallery they were looking for was of a pure white, illuminated by led light in the current darkness. Silver letters wrote the word • Polaris •

A few people were gathered at the front, plastic cup in one end. They escaped the crowded space of the gallery to talk and enjoy the air. Those gallery were not vast usually, just one or two rooms. This one had the chance to be an old sport room who got metamorphosed into an art receptacle. A long corridor followed the entrance, divided by four doors leading to different rooms.

The corridor was empty when they entered it, which led their eyes to the painting hanged on the opposite wall. It was a giant portrait, draw with big brushes and wide smudges. It was not abstract because we could define two eyes and a mouth, but the global feature were lost in the material. Someone tried to draw a realistic portrait before deciding he would alienate this figure to the world and destroyed it to recognition.

Himuro recognized it. For it was his face painted on the opposite wall. He did not turn to see the other's reactions. They had not unfolded the truth. His dark hair were painted with a dark blue and his mole was only a smear with black paint, leaving a single tears running across his cheek. It was a violent portrait, he was wearing a calm expression, but a violence who could not be measured with words emanated from the pigment. It hit him to see himself like that.

Now he regretted to come without checking the artist. In a rush, he violently turned around to read the poster on the front door. He should have seen it coming. It was not even a plot twist, it was the obvious continuity of his fate, tormenting him for not being as talented as he would want to. When he came back to his friends he brushed back the interrogative glance and caught Atsushi's hand to find some support. Silently thanking him for not rejecting public display of affection. He had five minutes to repeat his verse and face the crowd, the curtain would rise and he would be faced with ghosts he had himself summoned and followed, but who still caught him off guard.

Foreign voices from a past buried into self memory loss emerged in Himuro's mind. The place had the same purpose, but was in New York. This time it was his work exposed on the wall and people were there to see him. Everything was going well, but the joy he felt that night soon vanished to let room to anger and deception. He had been deceived and his pride has been overthrown by the person he loved the most.

Two old ladies were talking in front of one of his painting. He was rather proud of this one at the time. He did not mean to listen to their saying, except his ears caught the words. His pride was lured by the praise and was bitten by a sharp hook.

"I heard that another artist should have exposed tonight."

One of the old lady stated. It was true that Himuro and Taiga fought against each other to win the place in that exhibition. They were both in the list with other artists and they knew the big competition would be between them. The one who showed the most interesting collection would have the right to be exposed for two months in this gallery. It was not a little gallery, it has a renowned so Himuro thought he could start a real career with such an opportunity. At this time he did not question why the old lady questioned the legitimacy of his presence here.

"Yes, but apparently they made an arrangement. The other artist will be shown at a much bigger exhibition later, and not in a gallery, but in a short exhibition at the MoMa who will celebrate young promising contemporary artist."

"What a shame I wanted to see that artist, I bet we'll have to pay this exhibition."

"Yes, but it'll be truly worth it."

"I agree, it's so tiring to see pretty boys trying to be " _à la mode_ " with their miserable painting."

"You are right, it totally lacks soul. It is dull."

After those words, Himuro went back home. If two old harpies could not appreciate his works he did not care. The revelation of his best friend, the one he considered family, selling him short to win a bigger prize without telling him about it was what destroyed him.

He could have accepted Taiga's art winning the gallery contest honestly. He would have been glad his brother was exposed in a museum even if he was constantly saying he was not interested in such things. He just remembered the fake congratulations Taiga gave him after the result was announced. It explained better why he was not in the lack disappointed. It was a big opportunity for them, or Himuro thought so.

"When did you plan to tell me the truth?"

It was the accusatory word Himuro launched at Taiga when he came back. Taiga stayed later at the _vernissage_ , probably looking for Himuro toward the end. Truthfully Himuro did not wait for an answer when he saw the misunderstanding and then the wave of regret who flood over Taiga's face. Himuro punched him like he never punched anyone before. It was not enough to calm his anger and the lack of response from Taiga just made him throw another hit. Taiga knew he was at fault and did not fight back.

Himuro learnt Taiga has been against the idea, they called him about this story after the results for the gallery. He found himself unable to decline.

Excuses, he only gave excuses, but he knew he had hurt Himuro more than he could abdicate for.

Himuro had refused to talk to him the days who followed. So two weeks after the incident he learned by Alex that Taiga has been forced to go to Paris with his father. His participation in the exhibition at the MoMa was canceled. Himuro thought he was even more stupid to give up this opportunity. They never has the chance to say good-bye. Himuro's resentment peter out with time. It became too tiresome to be angry at someone who was not a part of his life anymore.

Years ago he would have been happy for Taiga having his own exhibition in Paris. Today he only felt bitter and envious.

It is only when he felt a hand on his neck, massaging him slowly in order to soothe him he realized he has been clamping Atsushi's hand too hard. He closed his eyes and breathed with the help of Atsushi's hand on him. He could do it. His inspiration died as he thought about the words he could say to his brother. His legendary calmness would have to be useful one more time.

"What is wrong?" He heard Atsushi whispered.

Atsushi took his hand and brought him in another room. It was definitively not to admire the art. He had found his way to the buffet. He took a chocolate macaron and put it in Himuro's mouth without asking for his opinion. Himuro let him do, thinking it was his weird way to comfort him.

"I'm fine." He articulated after swallowing." I just know the artist and I never thought I would see him here..." Which was foolish since Himuro knew since the beginning Taiga was in Paris.

"Your brother?" Atsushi guessed, perceptive as ever. It made Himuro smile.

"Yes, him."

Meanwhile Atsushi just piled a lot of food on a plate, secretly planning to eat the whole buffet. Himuro satiated himself with a glass of champagne, hoping alcohol would lighten his mood and help him face his brother.

"You don't want to see him again?" Atsushi asked while wondering if he should take some _verrines_ because he could not eat them with his fingers alone.

"Tatsuya!?"

A voice with a strong American accent caught their attention. He has been found.

_To be continued._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chap will follow shortly, I just need to re-read it again to be sure of everything, but it's written.


	13. Corriger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> French things in italic.

"Tatsuya!?"

A voice with a strong American accent caught their attention. He has been found.

"Taiga, what a surprise." Himuro could always trust his natural instinct to keep him calm.

"You don't look surprised..."

"Well I am at your exhibition after all. The chances were high." We can remind Himuro had learned five minutes ago whose exhibition it was. The tension in the air was heavy and Himuro was gauging his words.

"Your fashion sense is awful." Himuro heard Atsushi said next to him, and he bit his cheek to suppress a smile." and what is wrong with your eyebrows?"

Atsushi moved behind Taiga and without a warning he tore off his shirt and vest to take a look at his back.

" _Qu'est ce que tu fous_?" [What the fuck?] Taiga roared, not paying attention to his manner.

All the eyes were turned on them now. Atsushi shrugged and took a look at Himuro before resuming eating. Himuro stayed speechless in front of Atsushi's behavior. He definitively checked if Taiga was wearing the matching tattoo. Atsushi's face stayed expressionless when he caught a glimpse of the dark circle.

"You still haven't learned what is rude and what is not Murasakibara." Himuro almost jumped as a voice came out from nowhere.

"Kuro-chin... Always so serious..."

If the situation has been awkward two minutes ago it was definitively unsettling now. All the looks were attached to them and none of the protagonist seemed happy to see each other.

" _Taiga, je t'ais enfin trouvé !_ " [Taiga, I finally found you !] As if it was not enough, two other people joined the group. " _comme promis j'ai ramené Junpei, il va écrire un article sur l'exposition._ " [As promised I brought Junpei, he'll write a piece about the exhibition.]

" _Teppei... maintenant j'ai vraiment envie d'écrabouiller quelqu'un dans cette pièce._ " [Teppei... now I really wanna crush someone in this room.] Atsushi hissed, his voice was light, but menacing and Himuro could understand he was far from happy to see Teppei Kiyoshi here.

" _Murasakibara ? Que fais-tu ici ?_ " [Murasakibara ? What are you doing here ?] Teppei asked.

" _Pas tes oignons. T'as pas une collection à dessiner ?_ " [not your business. Don't you have a collection to design ?] Atsushi retorted.

" _Même chose pour toi_." [Same back at you] Himuro was impressed by Teppei genuine smile, it was a level of polite face he could not pull off, it almost gave him chills. He was the kind of guy you wanted as your friend rather than your enemy, but Atsushi did not think that far and decided to hate the guy.

"How do you find the exhibition so far Tatsuya?" Taiga asked him, deciding to ignore the cumbersome air around the group. "or more importantly, what are you doing in Paris?"

"I didn't get a chance to see your art yet. I'm here because Alex found me a job. I work for Atsushi who is beside me." In a part of his mind he was glad he met Taiga with a real job and not some months ago when he was a friendless nobody who brood darkness in a new yorker flat.

"Oh, that's good. Well let me introduce you: Tetsuya Kuroko." The light blue haired man spoke with Atsushi earlier before Himuro completely forgot about his presence. This man was hard to notice so it took him all this time to realize it was the one who owned the gallery and who was friend with Satsuki and Atsushi.

"Nice to meet you Tetsuya. I'm an old acquaintance of Taiga." He saved the trouble of telling his backstory and did not present himself as Taiga's brother. He wondered if Taiga mentioned his name before as the two of them gave off the sentiment of being more than co-worker. Then, he wondered if the same could be said about him and Atsushi.

"Nice to meet you too."

"Tatsuya is also an amazing artist Tetsu, I should show you some of his work ! Are you still painting ?"

Himuro found that question presumptuous. Did he want to check if Tatsuya was still painting after what happened between them? Would he give up his art because someone betrayed him ? Hell no, he would never give up what he loves. Art has always been his solace and he would not have give it up because things became cloudy after Taiga's departure.

"Bien sur qu'il peint toujours. D'ailleurs ça vaut plus le coup que ces gribouillis." (of course he is still painting. And it's much more worthy than those scrawl.) Atsushi commented deciding to stop his eye contest with Teppei. The look on Taiga's face told Himuro that Atsushi did not answer in a nice way, but he could not say who should be offended. Everyone saw Himuro was the only one let out of the conversation so Taiga rushed to speak back into English again.

"Anyway I would love to see your new pieces." Taiga said, finding a way out.

"Me too, do you own a website ?" Kuroko Tetsuya asked, genuinely curious.

"Not updated at the current time. Since I work for Atsushi I did not take the time to sell my own art recently." Tatsuya explained.

"What are you thinking of the exhibition Hyuuga...san ?" Kagami became polite all of a sudden addressing himself to the journalist Teppei had brought.

"Please, call me Junpei." If Kiyoshi was good with the genuine polite smiling face, Hyuuga had skills in grumpy faces. "I think it's interesting, we can feel you are still young, there is almost something naive and pure about your painting, but also something wild and uncontrolled. If I had to describe it I would say you are a graffiti artist who used calligraphy tools to paint daily life picture."

Junpei looked at Kuroko checking if he was authorized to phrase it this way in his paper. Kuroko just shook his head in agreement. Tatsuya agreed too. Kagami has always been largely influenced by street artist back in New York so was Tatsuya, but it never showed in his own work. Kagami lived in Japan in his youth and he brought back folklore and story Tatsuya had never heard before. His roots found way inside his art to create a nice alchemy.

Himuro looked around him to admire the painting, hearing such a true statement made him remember how much he loved Taiga's art. Before considering him as a brother, he has a profound respect and a deep admiration for Taiga. He always thought that he would need to cut the rope and leave his admiration behind in order to surpass Taiga. He could stand on equal ground with him, but he was blind because Taiga was already out of his reach back in New York.

"I actually met a lot of artists in Paris too, I decided to live in the suburb of Paris. It's definitively more interesting to meet people and I was treated like a stranger they learned to know, but not like a foreigner. They easily let me be a part of their city."

"Can I ask an interview of you for the paper?" Hyuuga asked, while taking note of everything Taiga was saying.

"Muro-chin... I'm bored..." Atsushi grumbled, he finished his plate and did not seem enthusiastic enough to eat another one.

"Oh! Atsushi!" Teppei halted, not lighting Atsushi mood one bit. " _Est-ce que tu voudrais faire une interview croisé avec moi? Pour promouvoir notre competition et notre defilé ? J'en ai parlé avec Junpei et son éditeur a l'air d'accord._ " [would you mind doing a cross interview with me? To promote our competition and mutual fashion show a bit ? I talked about it with Junpei and his editor seems to agree with it.]

" _J'veux rien révéler sur le défilé_." [I don't want to reveal anything about the show.] Atsushi repined.

" _Moi non plus, ce sera juste pour donner envie au gens de venir le voir._ _Je m'amuse énormément à préparer ce défilé, pas toi ?_ " [Me neither, it would be just teasing to make people want to see it. I have a lot of fun, getting ready for the show, not you ?]

" _J'peux t'écrabouiller durant l'interview ? Jveux dire, t'as aucune chance de gagner donc je sais même pas de quel compétition tu parles._ _Parler avec toi rends cette nuit encore plus chiante._ " [Can I crush you during the interview? I mean, you got no chance of winning so I don't even know what kind of competition you are talking about. Speaking with you make the night even more boring.]

" _Hey c'est quoi ton problème?_ " [Hey what's your problem?] Junpei snapped back at Atsushi, harshly cutting his conversation with Taiga.

" _Laisse Junpei._ " [Let Junpei.] Teppei stopped the game before someone got hurt. " _Viens, allons voir le reste de l'expo_." [Come, let's go see the rest of the exhibition.] They bid their good-bye to the group and Teppei lead Junpei away.

" _Bon débarras._ " [good riddance] Atsushi shrugged.

"You really do hate the guy _..._ " Himuro said once their rival was out of earshot.

"Let's go too Muro-chin." There was a pout on Atsushi face and his eyes looked even more bored than usual, but Himuro could not take his wish for granted this time.

"Can we still watch the art before we go ?" Atsushi cringed but agreed nonetheless.

They walked toward a new room where they found back Satsuki, Leo and Alex. Atsushi went toward them to hear what they were talking about. He seemed in a fool mood since they met Taiga. The room was covered in painting. There was no canvas on the wall ; the room was the piece of art, from floor to ceiling. The painting was not directly applied on the wall, it was wallpaper but the immersion took effect. The room was eating Himuro in an oppressing way and he had the impression to lose his ground. The feeling of walking inside the art made him feel embarrassed.

In the rough painting he could recognize some of New York familiar streets he used to walk along with Taiga. It was part of his memories splashed on the wall. He smiled at the nostalgia and the lack of regret concerning his presence here. He could not forget Taiga's action, but he could not hate all the years they shared together. The amount of work; which result is in front of his eyes now. He stepped out of his reverie when someone grabbed him by the wrist. He slowly turned to face Tetsuya.

"Tatsuya ? Can I talk with you a moment please?" Tetsuya English accent was really bad, and it reassured Himuro to not be the only one who had trouble being multilingual.

"Taiga told me what happened between the two of you back in New York. I am sorry if I am stepping out of my boundaries, but I would like to suggest something to you. What do you think of doing a competition during the fashion show of Murasakibara and Teppei? The idea would be to organize an art exhibition before the show and to present a final piece at the end of the show."

Tetsuya offered to settle their discord by doing another competition between the two of them. He was already a lot busy with the upcoming fashion show, but the idea made his heart beat in anticipation and a rush of adrenalin pumped his heart at the thought.

"I don't think what happened to you back then was fair, neither did Taiga. The judge had already made their choice and art is too subjective to agree that Taiga was really more talented than you. If Taiga and Murasakibara hold you in high esteem, then I think you deserve to be judge arbitrarily."

They were total stranger but Tetsuya had thought about a solution for their problem. Did what happen back then really affected Taiga as it affected Himuro?

"I would be glad to face Taiga in another duel." He was thrilled by the idea, competition against Taiga as always been his biggest inspiration. He had someone to surpass, who could keep him inspired and excited about his creations. It shows on his face as he could not suppress a grin, neither did he remark Atsushi silently watching him from afar "Who would be the judges?"

"We should take different criterion, first the press, then me and Akashi, and then the public who was present during the show and the exhibition. We would be able to make a fair judgment of whose exhibition was the best at this time. I think it would also profit to both of you, not like the last time. It affected Taiga too in the end since he refused to exhibit at the MoMa he lost a lot of credit."

"I thought he did not expose because his father took him to Paris."

"Yes, but he could have choose to stay in New York at the time. He decided by himself to travel to Paris."

"what a..." Himuro spit, Taiga should have the guts to accept the exhibition and the glory it would have brought. It was a fool play to ruin everything so close to success...

"Please, bethink Taiga's feeling and use this opportunity to mend the past. He punished himself for the pain he caused, but he was also certain of his own capacity and the fact he would reach success in Paris. He wants you to reach your true potential too. Please don't disappoint him."

"I will take this competition seriously and do my best." Himuro affirmed with a serious tone." I also want Atsushi to win the show. It's what matters now."

"It is a good thing you are working with Murasakibara. I don't think you know it...But in spite of his huge talent, he is quite hated in the fashion world..." Himuro was unaware of it, but he could not say that the information surprised him.

"Why is that? Jealousy?" He took a guess.

"Not quite...You could see it with Kiyoshi, he hates people he finds untalented, especially people who create casual clothes...He often said he hated clothes back in school in Japan, especially the uniforms...He abhors men clothes above everything else. He find them boring and he doesn't understand why people are making them and forcing them unto other. In his opinion, they should completely stop. He went to a lot of fashion show and let a lot of harsh critics. Kiyoshi doesn't mind them anymore, I think the chock from Murasakibara's word made him stronger. So it's a good thing Murasakibara is sharing his talent with someone else and learnt to work with a team." Kuroko was able to tell his opinion with the same kind and calm voice. Himuro wondered if his thirst for information on Atsushi was written on his face or if Kuroko was just heartily giving his opinion about everything to anyone.

"I am glad to work with him. He is quite apathetic daily, but seeing him working is a sigh I will never forget. " Himuro thought of nothing else than his own feelings.

"It is a chance Murasakibara is naturally talented because I think he would have gave up before trying if it was not the case. He would have never worked blindly like you and Taiga if he had no talent. I also think his natural talent makes what he does a bit boring."

"You are speaking of his last collections or in general?"

"His latest, he knows what works now and he can easily go with the flow and let his laziness win over everything."

"You seem to know a lot about him." Himuro stated as a matter of fact, still wondering why Kuroko was disclosing so much to him.

"I am the one who discovered his talent, well it sounds pretentious. Let's just stay I was curious about what he was lazily drawing during classes and then Akashi revealed his talent."

"I see, well it is a good thing you get curious then. I am glad to have met you Tetsuya."

"Likewise." Tetsuya made his first smile, it was soft and almost shy. This man was also a blank wall in term of facial expression, but Tatsuya could see how kind hearted he truly was.

"I think I should go or Atsushi is going to pierce a hole through my back with his gaze." Himuro laughed, deciding he would take more time to admire the exhibition another day.

"I was thinking the same. You should pay attention and not spoiled him too much though." Kuroko warned him friendly. They smiled at each other and before Himuro could tell, no one was in front of him. He looked around, but the only person left in the room was him, Atsushi and their group of friends.

"Let's go home Atsushi." Himuro walked smiling at Atsushi.

"Already ?" Leo and Satsuki both cried out.

"Yeah we got a lot of work for tomorrow and I'm feeling a bit tired." Himuro smoothly lied, taking Atsushi's hand and leading him to the exit. He thought it was an impression, but Atsushi's grip seems to be stronger than earlier. Once out of the gallery they let go of each other hand to walk silently toward the underground.

"Why are you pouting for?" Himuro finally enquired.

"I am not." Atsushi said with his eyes low and his lower lip frowned.

They did not exchange another word on the walk, Atsushi try to take the path toward his own flat before Tatsuya gripped him by the hand and lead him to his place. He put Atsushi to sleep and hug him for a while incapable of finding sleep himself.

He get up, despite his tiredness and started drawing. Everything his brush painted was complete crap, but he find the pace of the movement calming. He had to think about an idea for the competition and he had to talk about it to Atsushi. He also realized he did not ask Tetsuya his phone number to contact him if he had questions. His brain could not light out and think about something else than the art he would have to create soon.

_To be continued._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh I forgot, about last chapter, the gallery is a real gallery in Paris, and the shop of woo young mi is really there as well. Except I could not find the gallery in the street, and it was not open (it was summer break, almost all the gallery are closed) so I just imagined how it would look like, I choose this one because of the location, the name (I love stars) and the fact it was an old sport room. (wink to basket) 
> 
> Hope you liked those chapters, my fic is mostly calm so I don't know what you are thinking of it, so don't hesitate to review if you want.


	14. Revoir les références

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nda: I was supposed to write a quick filler chapter before an important chapter, it got out of hands and so I wrote two chapters instead of one...  
> French still in italic.

Purple is the mixture of two opposite colors on the spectrum. The cold and the hot mixed into an unnatural shade. Himuro spent his evening mixing those colors to find the perfect hue. Paints force you to master the creation of the same color twice with the probability of his impossibility. He was searching for a perfect purple; one who would catch the eyes of every people seeing it. Peace would emerge from his canvas filling people with the same fascination this color exert on himself. People would ask why he painted a canvas with one color, pretending they could do the same. He wanted to find a color who would shut the mouth of the ignorant.

In any way you can understand grace before being touched by it. Himuro was dreaming of this color, but left incapable of producing it. He blamed it on the acrylic, then on the oil paint and now he was trying with his pigments. Something went wrong with the mix, as if the colors refused to meddle. The blue rejected the red, refusing to merge and create the apotheosis, leaving only fade attempts. He spent several nights after work on his research. He still had no idea of what he would present during the fashion show, but he still had time to follow his inspiration.

“Are you making research to change the wallpaper color?” Atsushi asked on Saturday.

Since the exhibition he did not find the time to visit Himuro, they still shirked to talk as Atsushi was immersed in his own work.

“Sorry for the mess… I’m doing research… I try to find inspiration for the exhibition.” Himuro bit the tip of his brush and tried to erase a smudge of paint on his face.

“Why don’t you just buy a tube of purple rather than trying by yourself?”

Himuro smiled at the logical question. It would lose the purpose of his research, but a lot of people would probably ask the same question.

“I want it to be unique, you are making your own clothes to be sure no one else is wearing them no?”

“Naa… It’s just because no one makes the things I want to wear…”

Silence settled in the room as Atsushi shrugged. Himuro thought upon those words, slightly frowning when he remembered that Atsushi was only creating women’s clothes. 

“Why don’t you wear your own collection then?”

“Because I’m creating women clothes, obviously.”

“You could still wear them if you wanted, I don’t see the problem…” Himuro continued, the thought could have chocked some people, but the more he let the idea slipped through his mind the less eccentric it appeared. He could perfectly picture Atsushi in some of his creations.

“Most of my creations are dresses or skirts.”

Argue would not be useful in itself. Still, the conversation made Himuro curious. Atsushi surely wanted to wear the works he created and then for some reason he refused to do so. Himuro knew the gaze of other people let him indifferent. He dyed his hair in purple and he probably wore most of his clothes to reduce to blindness other people. Atsushi came back on the previous subject.

“If you want a color no one used before why don’t you create new pigments? When I want a dress no one did before I try to create or find a unique fabric to begin with.”

Himuro wanted the purple to be born from a mix, so he had not thought about using purple pigment, maybe he should find a way to create the color from something which is already purple and convert it into pigment.

“You are right; I should rather try that maybe I would have better results. Thank you, Atsushi.”

“You’re welcome Muro-chin.” Atsushi smiled proudly at his usefulness. After his good action of the day, he took out a mars of his pocket and started eating it.

“Also Atsushi, I wanted to ask you for Tetsuya’s number. I had things to ask him, and I forgot to ask for his contact.”

“No problem, I‘ll send it to you, lend me your phone.” He reached his hand while fighting against the fudge of the mars who stayed attached to the bar.

Himuro handed his smart phone after going to the trouble of finding it in his bedroom. His phone was pretty recent, but it was not an object he was glued to. Once with the smart phone in hand Atsushi started to check it.

“You don’t have snapchat…” Atsushi remarked disappointed.

“Why would I need it? The only one who could send me stuff is Alex and no thank you.”

“Leo-chin is sending me stuff, Aka-chin too.”

Himuro had a hard time imagining Akashi sending snapchat. While trying to imagine the kind of picture Atsushi received, the application was loaded on his phone.

“I’ll be able to send you stuff like that.”

Atsushi gave him his phone back and Himuro checked he really gave him Tetsuya’s number in the end.  
  
“Atsushi…There is something I wanted to ask you.”

Himuro was being careful, talking slowly as he knew he would face rejection.

“Hmm?”

“Could you tell me the theme of your collection? Or something that could help me creating art who reflect it…”

“I want it to be a surprise…” Atsushi lips got tight and his eyes converged toward the floor.  
  
“I know, but I will have to try the clothes at some point before the show and learn what it is about, no?”

“Yes, but not until everything is ready…”

“Nothing you could tell me without revealing the theme or the design of the clothes?“

“I thought about you while designing the collection, so I think that whatever thing you’ll create will reflect the collection.”

Himuro smiled fondly, he still could not believe he was an inspiration source for Atsushi. The boy locked his eyes with Himuro in search of something. He raised his giant arms a bit before he clutched them behind Himuro and brought him into a hug. Himuro stayed thunderstruck under the embrace. He pondered about reaching back, but maybe he mistook the intention. Atsushi started to draw the circle on his back with his finger. Himuro whole body soothed under the touch and he gripped Atsushi's shirt burying his head in the crook of his neck, standing on tiptoe. Atsushi gripped Himuro tighter, strengthening the hug.

"We'll definitively win Muro-chin." Atsushi grumbled his voice lower with a tint of annoyance. He let go quickly and locked purple eyes with grey ones, slouching a bit to be at Himuro's level. "You are definitively better."

Himuro waited for Atsushi to walk toward the kitchen to seek some treat to finally lose his composure. He hid his head with one hand and let out a long sigh. It was just a hug yet desire made his heart pump and his body crave for heat.

~*~

  
The words of Atsushi resonated in his head while he walked along the room of the gallery he did not have the time to see the other night. It was Monday and the place was almost empty except for two or three lost tourists and some students.

Walking amongst Kagami's work felt like an eerie dream. The surrealism of it all gave him the impression is body was floating inch away from the floor and moving without his command. He let himself be immersed in the sensation and the memories. What he had back then was so different from what he has now and still. He remembered the craving of being better, the excitement of having a rival, the fear of losing his brother, the pride of being his brother, for one fleeting instant he possessed him. He marked him as such.

Then as he feared, all disappeared. There was no feeling of loss in Kagami's art. He had found something new in Paris. Everything was joyful and passionate about his art. Except for the painting of Himuro in the corridor who was fading away from memory once we entered one of the new rooms and the color hit you with such force. Kagami's aura was violent and took you like a vortex. He was the kind of passionate being able to make you move mountains.

And yet, he never convinced Himuro of his talent like Atsushi just did. His eyes were storming with something he never saw in them before. The more minimal reaction in someone like Atsushi never went unnoticed, he was usually too bored to care and yet something had made him angry and motivated.  
  
Atsushi smiled to himself, he was going to show evolution in his work. He would let the past behind and would not need to paint a portrait of Kagami for that. They would both present their work and put a term to their brotherhood who did not mean anything anymore; to start anew.

  
  
~*~

  
  
Himuro wondered if all the tall Asian were secretly hiding in Paris when he first encountered Liu Wei. He was approximately as tall as Atsushi and was the photograph with whom Araki had planned a training shoot. Leo, Araki and he met at station Saint Lazare to go in a studio who was fit out for photography. The studio was completely empty except from two big light spots and light reflectors facing a large white wall. A desk with a Mac was installed in a corner of the room in opposition to the white wall. Liu was wearing his camera around his neck. The man was not impressive, despite his high he was giving the same nonchalant vibes as Atsushi. He wore a simple white shirt with black pants and pointed shoes.

"I am nice to meet iou." He articulated each of the word, trying to find the good pronunciation for each one. "Sorry for my poor English. I will do my best." French accent was far from the most understanding one when you are used to American, but Liu slow speaking made him easy to understand.

" _Merci_ , _désolé je ne parle pas français_." [thanks, sorry I don't speak French] Himuro apologized; he was the one in fault for being the stranger, or so he thought.

"Liu will probably speak in French most of the time and we'll do the translation." Leo helped. " _ça te va Liu ? Si on parle en français et qu'on lui traduit ?_ "

" _Absolument._ " Liu spoke calmly and clearly even in French. Himuro felt more confident, Liu would probably forgive him his novice mistakes as a model. He felt more at ease learning with someone calm and serious.

Leo started to talk with Liu in French to later give the details to Himuro.

“Okay, since you are inexperienced we will do some test, maybe you should talk with Araki and me, be natural and Liu is going to take shot just to do some adjustments. He thinks it’ll be easier if at first you don’t think about what you are doing.” Leo summarized their conversation.

“All the modeling I know is figure modeling for art, so it won’t work here…”

Himuro wondered if things would be alright since he could not communicate with Liu and had to base his reaction on his expressionless face. On the other side, listening to Leo and act natural was easy even with a camera pointed at him. Sometimes Liu did a small smile, satisfied with the picture he had just taken.

  
“After this, we’ll have to change your clothes.” Leo decided “I didn’t spend the morning doing shopping for nothing.”

“I still can’t believe you can put clothes in the budget of the studio.”

“We spent two hundred euro, I can assure you that for Akashi it’s far from a hole in the budget, sometime we use square of fabric who are worth the same price for a dress.”

« Well at least I won outfit for this winter. »

“And nice one!” Leo smiled mischievously.

Liu started to take pictures to test the lighting and settings with Himuro in front of the white wall.

“He is saying you look nice! You are really photogenic, even pictures who shouldn’t work are looking cool. So now you just have to learn a few tricks to pose because he says that maybe being aware of what you are doing can ruin the mood and your charisma.”

“Good, then I will change and we can try with me being more aware. Araki will coach me anyway.”  
  
Leo did the translation and before Himuro started undressing Leo asked him something.

“Liu is asking if it is okay to touch you if he needs? To change the position of your arm or leg? Since he can’t talk much.”

Liu seemed to be a respectful man so Himuro accepted without second thoughts.  
  
“It’s okay.” He made an ok sign with his hand. “No problem.”

His “no touching” policy applied only with nude model, but here there was no problem for him. Himuro started to change, he slipped on a kaki baggy and a white top tank with black inscription on it.  
  
“This is not my style at all.” He looked at himself quizzically in a mirror placed between the two closed window of the studio. It looked more like something Taiga would wear.

“We need to make you wear different outfits, especially ones you are not used to or would never wear, for practice.” Araki explained “As much as Leo like your rear in tight pants we need you to get used to anything.”

“You are wearing it wrongly, that’s why it looks dull.” Leo intervened dismissing Araki commentary behind a roll of his eyes.

He took a keffieh from the bag and wrapped it around Himuro’s neck. He continued with slipping a part of the shirt in his pants to let the other side lie on his right hips. He got on his knees and slipped the left leg of the pants inside Himuro’s leather boots. He searched for some more accessories like rings, bracelet and he borrowed Liu’s watch to not let his wrist nude.

“Here you are all set!” Leo sang happily.

“Wow definitively better. » Himuro observed, Liu just shook his head and they were ready for the real thing.

Himuro started by acting naturally, which meant he was just standing like he would when waiting at the subway for example. Occasionally, looking at the camera or Leo to change the angle of his face. One unnerving things was his hands, he had no idea what to do with them. If he stood like in a conversation he would usually cross them or letting them lay along his body. It is the kind of details you do not pay attention to, but he was made self-conscious of every movement of his body as the click of the camera reminded him pictures were taken.

“You are supposed to look good, as a model, but you should never forget the important things are the clothes you are wearing or the object you are advertising. Those things should attract the eyes first. Sadly, your face is too distracting.” This last comment, owned Leo a smack on the head from Araki.

“Try walking around a bit, you can put your hands in your pocket too.” Araki encouraged.  
  
Himuro passed his hand through his hair, his body a bit launched forward. Liu took a picture just in time.  
  
“ _Celle-là est bien_!” [This one is good!] He announced enthusiast.

“Okay, Himuro, you should look annoyed and thoughtful more often apparently because it works.” Himuro smiled at the remark and straightened up. Liu took another picture.

“Leo, continue à lui parler, pour lui occuper l’esprit.” [Leo keep talking to him to keep his mind occupied.]

Leo obliged, Himuro natural reaction looked better on camera. With a few more shot he started to get use to the situation. The place became more familiar and having eyes constantly on   him, searching for the right stand or the right lighting became trivial.

“Est-ce que vous l’avez maquillé avant de venir ?” [Did you put make up on him before coming?] Liu asked.

« Juste une base pour que tu puisse prendre des photos, on ne sait pas encore comment il sera maquillé lors du défilé. » [Just basic stuff for you to be able to take picture, we don't know how what kind of makeup he'll wear for the show.] Araki has made a commentary earlier about Himuro's perfect skin tone.

They just applied some foundation and powder. Exfoliation was not needed, and even his chin was not too raw from shaving. The only problem was to find a nice foundation color for Himuro's skin who is rather pale, but would look ghostly on the picture with the white background. Araki had almost the same tone so she found a color who would perfectly match. It was the first time Himuro wore makeup and except for looking a little bit more healthy and awake than usual he did not see the difference until they used bronzer and highlighter to make his jaw and cheekbones more defined without ruining his feminine features.

« Je crois que l’eyeliner ou ce genre de chose ça lui irait bien. » [I think eyeliner or that kind of thing would suit him well.]

« Je pense aussi."[I think so too] Leo approved.

As time went, Himuro started to act more professional; he tried to think about what he had seen on magazine. As in art, he thought the best way was to give movement, dynamic lines to his body in order to avoid a stiff and boring position. He knew how to use his smile and his eyes to give the desired expression. how to look nice, sad or even sexy. He was aware of his beauty, but he wanted to bet on more than his looks to obtain what he wanted. He winked at Leo once just for the fun of seeing his face flushed before trying to keep it cool.

They changed outfit after some minutes. He took a black suit pants, then he added a grey button up and a dark grey sweater with a v-col. He looked like a rich kid ready for his first day in a private school. He changed his attitude with the clothes. He looked calmer, shyer at first, trying things and judging reaction from Leo and Araki. Liu did not have to touch him a lot, most of the time he showed what he wanted with his own body and Himuro imitated.

After some pictures, Leo grabbed a big bag and took out a leopard fur coat he handed to Himuro. He laughed at the offended look in his eyes, but quickly Himuro gained his cool, smiled and acted smoothly. He took off the sweater, opened up the button of the shirt and played with the coat. He looked smug and natural, his hair was a bit more ruffled than usual because of the change of clothes and it looked wilder. Himuro never thought he would have so much fun and enjoy so much being a model. There was an exhilaration, not only from being the center of the attention, but by the freedom he was given by Liu to act as he wanted.

“Okay last outfit before we stop.” Araki called. “We should take a break first.”

“You are going to hate me Himuro for this one…” Leo started laughing, thinking about the clothes he had chosen.

“Yes, let’s take a break.” Himuro looked quizzically at Leo, wondering what joke he could have planned. Himuro realized the light was hurting his head a little and the need for a break was urgent. He also needed water and like a telepath Araki offered him a bottle. He drank half of it and also accepted the bit of fruits she had brought with her for vitamin. He ate the sliced apples while looking at Liu. He hoped he would be able to take a look at the pictures at the end of the shooting if some of them were good.

After ten minutes he went to pick the third outfit. Himuro had a bad presentiment.

“I am sorry but, you are American and I had to do it, I am a fan…” Leo smiled, trying to keep his laugh inside.  
  
Himuro found a black shiny legging inside the bag and put it on. He was not used to have something so tight around his waist and crotch, but he did not complain. The other piece of clothes was a black shirt, he passed it through his head and frowned at the tightness of the shirt. Leo came to help him. He put the shirt inside the legging, he added a black belt around his waist and let the sleeve of the shirt fall on his arm, letting his collarbone and shoulder nude. Himuro looked at him quizzically while Leo was laughing behind him. He looked at himself in the mirror eyebrow raised, and he almost missed the joke until Leo put red high heels near his feet. Araki looked like she was going to punch Leo and Liu seemed to not get the reference. Himuro still put on the heels, he tug at the legging who was molding his ass too tightly.

“Really? Don’t expect me to smoke and say you are the one that I want stud!”

“You are a perfect Sandy!” Leo was cracked with laugher, he had meant it as a joke, but the Grease outfit was fitting Himuro weirdly too much. His body was skinny, but rightly shaped and the clothes tightened him in all the right places.

“I have nothing to do with her! You got weird fantasy really.” Himuro was trying to sound judgmental, but he wanted to laugh too.

Himuro started to work, he was more at ease with things and could laugh during the shooting. There was no client to please so Araki did not stay angry and let them have their fun while Himuro was taking stupid poses with the intent to make Leo laugh. Concentrated on the pictures they completely missed the fact Araki absented for a while to unlock the door.

" _Pourquoi est ce qu'il porte les fringues de cette comédie musicale débile_?" [Why is he dressed like in that stupid musical movie ?] Himuro froze at the unexpected voice. The question was not addressed at him so he missed the meaning. Anyway he was fully aware of how he was dressed and how ridiculous he looked. Instead of showing his embarrassment he walked toward Atsushi, looked at him with a daring looks, took him by the hand and said.

"Take pictures with me!" He pointed Atsushi and himself with his finger to ask Liu if this was okay. Liu shook his head and hid again behind his camera.

  
_To be continued._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nda: I wanted to thanks every people who let comments and kudos so far, you are all lovely and I hope you will enjoy this fic until the end. 
> 
> The photo shoot was supposed to be shorter and then my brain needed to write it in detail, I am so eager to write chapter 16, but even I have to be patient about my own work! Chapter 15 will follow shortly it's already written, just need corrections. 
> 
> I hope the similar name like Leo/Liu and Tatsuya/Tetsuya aren't making the fic too hard to read. I stay concentrated to not make mistake about them, but it's maybe hard to follow sometimes.


	15. peindre un portrait

Araki had let Atsushi known their position by sending him a text. She opened him the door of the flat while the three other men were still working. Himuro had not expected Atsushi to walk on him dressed this way, but he found the circumstances funny. Now Atsushi was here, all he wanted was to include the man in the picture with him.

"I don't like shooting ... It's Kise-chin who does that."

Atsushi was pouting, already forgotten the reason of his presence. He played with the zipper of his light turquoise leather vest. Himuro passed his hand through the vest and made it fall to put Atsushi at ease. While doing so, he pushed him toward the white wall and under the light spot. Once in place he rolled up the sleeves of Atsushi purple button up, smiling at the yellow bananas, who made him think of Andy Warhol, attuned with his light yellow pants and purple sneakers.

Himuro kept his hand in his and made abstraction of his surrounding, he placed the hairs that have been falling on Atsushi's face behind his ear, looking him in the eyes.

"You don't have to do anything special, that's what they told me." Himuro explained.

"That's 'cause you look good on picture without trying, but these clothes look stupid." Atsushi pointed at his clothes and left Himuro to walk toward Liu.

" _J'peux voir les photos_?" [Can I see the pictures?] Atsushi asked and Liu quickly put his memory card in an adapter to open them on the Mac who was in standby in a corner of the room. Himuro tried to get a glimpse of the pictures without daring to approach. They took a lot of cliché where Himuro was looking at the camera from behind and Atsushi realized his shirt let show his tattoo most of the time, contrasting with his pale skin and the studio light who made him look paler.

Atsushi stayed pensive for a while before he scooted under the spotlight to take Himuro's hand and walked behind him, his hips standing a few centimeters away from his back. Atsushi pulled the shirt out of the legging and slide his hand against Himuro's back, scratching slowly with his nail along his spine. Nobody in the room could notice the gesture from where they stood, neither the goose bump rising on Himuro's skin. With his other hand Atsushi slide it behind Himuro's bang, hiding his eye. Atsushi kept a very serious face, he was still musing, unaware of his surroundings. The usual anger who accompany his lack of understanding boiled inside him.

Tension was building in the room and Liu was on the lookout observing those two as wild animals who could run away at any seconds while he aimed at the perfect shot. Atsushi slouched a bit to whisper behind Himuro's ear.

"How many people saw you without your bang?"

Himuro laughed shyly, Atsushi's breath was ticklish. Himuro had this haircut for as long as he could remember. He liked them this way and was used to see with just one eye. It drove his mother crazy and she usually put hair clip to keep the bang out of his vision. Taiga had told him it was like a superpower, being able to paint as accurately with half of his vision clouded. He could still see some things from behind and he was accustomed to it.

"I don't know. My mum for sure, definitively Alex and Taiga. It's not a secret, I can show it to anyone, it just doesn't happen."

Atsushi hand scratched harder at his back before turning him around letting the hand on his back. They were face to face in front of the camera. The part of Himuro's face who was usually uncovered was turned toward Liu and the camera. Atsushi made sure to only show this side. Slowly he unveiled his face, lifting his bang and watched Himuro in the eyes. His upper lips was slightly pouted. He kept his second hand on Himuro's back all the time, hiding the tattoo and occasionally scratching the skin lazily.

It was the second time and he still had the impression to see his face for the first time. His anger seemed to pass while he watched inside the grey eyes who looked at him puzzled. He then brought his face a few inches closer, tilting his head to the side. Enough for Himuro to feel the scent of bubble gum and raspberry. Himuro licked his lips unconsciously, not even aware of his spatial position anymore. Once close enough Atsushi bit Himuro's cheek, ruined the mood and let him go thus allowing everyone to catch the breath they were all holding.

Leo did not dare to joke about the sexual tension who completely vanished and who -he was sure-Atsushi wasn't aware of. He would feel jealous of Himuro if he felt not sad for him.

Himuro was left quizzical, his mind blank a moment ago was suddenly swarming with a hundred questions. Why did Atsushi touch his back again? Why did he want to see his face? Himuro felt something like possession and hunger behind Atsushi's attitude. If Atsushi had been attracted to him he could have told. He has been thrown enough heated and love-struck gaze to know what it looked like. Atsushi emotions seemed raw, juvenile and he knew Atsushi had no idea of what he was feeling, making it impossible for Himuro to understand him. He felt too discouraged by the situation to even jerk off by night at the thought of a man who was out of his reach ; thus letting the frustration eat him up.

Liu put the cache back on his camera and walked toward the Mac. This last picture silently ended the photo shoot for today. Leo eagerly walked toward Liu to see the pictures, while they were slowly charged on the computer, the raw files being took in charge by the software. Liu secretly watched the little picture on the screen and selected three of them who he judged good enough to show to everyone.

One was of Atsushi with his hand behind Himuro's eye, Himuro was watching nonplussed and with an innocent air who was not usually on his face. The second one was ambiguous from afar as Atsushi was biting Himuro's cheek, but his lips were hidden from this angle letting the spectator think it was a kiss. The third one made Leo gasped involuntary. Atsushi came behind them and cheat with his height to see the screen. He seemed satisfied as a little smirk lightened his face. Himuro advanced toward the group to see the picture. He just stayed flabbergasted and then he got flustered and turned around. Liu had captured a moment that none of the other people in the room could understand. At one point while he was talking in his ear Atsushi scratched at his back harder and for a little second Himuro has bitten his lips and closed his eyes.

"This is so erotic it wouldn't be rated under 16." Finally someone said it. Himuro felt too embarrassed to watch and at the same time he couldn't take his eyes away from Atsushi. There was something mischievous in his gaze, anger and frustration clouded his eyes. It was the look of a frustrated child in front of a puzzle they could not figure out.

"If we had to present both of you to the world on a magazine this should be the cover." Araki commentated seriously.

"No way!" Himuro shrieked.

"I agree, I like it." Atsushi concluded "Now I'm hungry..."

"Cause there are times when you aren't?" Leo joked.

"I got stuff in my bag." Himuro said absentmindedly, his brain still burnt with the memory of the picture. He took a bag of chips out of his bag and two bars of mars to give them to Atsushi.

"You keep stuff in your bag for him?" Leo asked.

"Well, he is always hungry at unexpected moment so it's like survival kit."

"Muro-chin is thinking of everything."

"Yeah I bet. You should keep him, no one else will be your human pantry."

While munching on his mars Atsushi remembered the reason of his presence here.  
  
"Ah! I forgot! I'm leaving Paris next week!" It came like a punch, and Himuro could do nothing to prevent the sudden sadness who invaded him at the news.

"What?" Leo and Himuro exclaimed. Liu decided he was unneeded so he continued to check and sort out the picture with the help of Araki.

"Where are you going?" Himuro stayed on guard, Atsushi had a weird way of phrasing things.

"Chantilly!"  
  
"He isn't talking about whipped cream." Leo commentated to Himuro, knowing sometimes Atsushi answer were more of a riddle than the actual question.

"Chantilly is a city in the north of Paris." Araki explained.

"Why do you need to go there?" Himuro enquired, still curious.

"It's for the show. I need something they only do there."

"What is it?" Leo pushed.

Atsushi looked at his mars as if fudge was the most interesting thing in the world.

"I don't know the word in English..." Atsushi sighed. He put his bar in his mouth and started searching for something on his smartphone.

"They are doing a special kind of this."

He showed his phone screen and on google image there was different kinds of lacework.

"Oh you mean lace!" Himuro exclaimed.

"Whatever you said. I know the ladies who does it since I needed it for my Marie Antoinette collection and I am going to need them again."

"Isn't there factory who produce that kind of thing after you design them? Do you need to go specifically to the place for that?" Himuro asked curiously, he didn't know anything about fashion so the habits and custom interested him.

"Na, I could do like you said, but I need something perfect and precise and it has to be done by hand or it wouldn't work." Atsushi looked very serious, this piece of clothing seemed to be important for him.  
  
"How long are you going to be away?"

"One or two weeks. I'm going to ask them, but I also wanna take some time away from the city to think about the collection."

"They aren't going to create the thing in two weeks?"

"Na, it's gonna take much longer, that's why I'm gonna ask them now."

"Now I understand better why you suddenly asked me to undress to take measurement the other day! You just decided this trip on a whim didn't you? Are you going to make me wear a dress with a lot of froufrou and laces?" Himuro laughed and thought about the Marie Antoinette collection from three years ago and the chances were maybe higher than he thought, despite the fact he was male.

"You would look adorable, look forward to it" Leo teased with a grin.

"The MA collection was supposed to be for male." Atsushi grumbled, still angry that his idea of men wearing modern aristocratic dress was refuted by Akashi and transformed into a women's collection.

No one said anything about it anymore. It only confirmed Himuro theory about Atsushi wanting to wear the clothes he created. The ancient knew how tense the studio had been during this period, it was the first time they saw Atsushi getting angry at one of his collection, and also so passionate about it. After this incident, his ideas chastened and followed the same pattern.

"What are your instruction for the studio while you are away sir?" Leo asked full metal jacket style.

  
~*~  


After Liu told them he would send them the best pictures by email, Leo decided it was diner time and Mac Donald's was the best option for money and time. Liu lived near saint Lazare and as soon as the information came back into Atsushi’s hear, seeing the big station from afar he pointed at it with an energizing finger looking expectantly at Leo and Himuro.

“What is it?” Himuro asked nicely, his voice so soft it was barely audible.

“He wants to go to burger king instead of Mac do, there are only two of them in the city so every time we run through this part of the town…”

“Wow it’s been so long since I have been to a burger king…” Himuro remembered, it didn’t leave him nostalgic, and feeling like home in this kind of place would sound idiotic. It just flew back memory of all the time he has been eating hamburger with Taiga. Or rather, the times he watched Taiga eat fifteen hamburgers in a row.

Atsushi was walking a lot faster, which for him was still pretty slow, but considering his height make everyone fall short while he was a meter ahead of them. He walked the escalator by two and continued straight ahead to the burger king at the opposite of the station, next to a starbuck coffee. Saint Lazare was a newly renewed station nicely lighted by a canopy protecting a shopping mall.  
  
They walked without paying attention to the dozens of people walking from a train to another. They entered the burger King, Atsushi and Araki stay at the queue to take the command for everyone –Araki being the only one able to speak French and memorize the needs of four people. Atsushi had to stay because his personal command was usually for the count of four people. Leo, Liu and Himuro went to find a table, they choose a place outside the restaurant, at a made up terrace where tables and chairs were installed inside the station.

Once sit and ready with food they all started eating and chatting about how the photo shoot went today. The things Himuro would need to improve. When they would be able to do another one, maybe with another photograph. When everyone, included Atsushi, finished his tray, Atsushi got up and went to order something else. When he reached the queue, Himuro left out a sigh he has been holding since they left Liu’s apartment.

“What happened earlier… With Atsushi… Is he really clueless?"

Araki offered him a compassionate smile and Leo squeezed his hand in comfort. Far from pitying him they understood. They have been witness of other victim of Atsushi lack of attraction. What they never saw is Atsushi looking so interested in someone else.

On his side, the want Himuro felt every time he saw Atsushi had changed from aesthetical to simply carnal. He could not ignore the way his blood pumped when Atsushi touched his back or the anticipation he felt when the boy was near him, hoping for any impromptu touching. Himuro munched angrily on his burger to let pass the frustration his own thoughts were creating.

“Atsushi is still giving you a lot of his attention, it is quite surprising since you are not a snack.” Araki said quite seriously.

“He isn’t attracted to anyone? I mean is he even aware that some people are attracted to the same gender?” Leo mused.

“Yeah, he definitively knows I’m attracted to him. He isn’t doing anything to make things easier though…”  
  
Himuro did not feel reproachful, but the situation became harder to handle with time.

“Maybe he is also confused.” Araki guessed.

“Maybe he likes you, but don’t know how to deal with feelings, especially if they are platonic.”

“It they are platonic, then we are just friends and there is no problem… He doesn’t have to…”Himuro hesitated. “touch me in public just in order to prove something to himself.”

Leo bite his lips, he saw no solution other than confront Atsushi. Which would ask for a great deal of courage… Either it would make Atsushi angry or he would just deny everything.

“When 'e looks at iou.” Liu startled everyone, his accent was bad, almost unintelligible, but at least he was trying, showing he had understood the major part of the conversation. “Atsushi have ze same face zat when 'e looked at 'iz food. 'e knows what to do wiz hiz 'amburger but not wiz iou.”

Everyone around the table stay speechless. When Atsushi came back everyone was still silent and Atsushi shot an eyebrow at everyone. Atsushi put his tray on the table and slid a cup of coffee at Himuro knowing he was always finishing his meal with one, but for a reason he forgot it today. Once seated, Atsushi wondered what was so interesting about him eating a hamburger to gather so much attention. 

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nda: I am really excited about writing the next chapter, I started working on it and I planned one scene since a long time (but nothing is fixed about it either). This chapter will be a bit different from the other ones, you'll see why and I don't know how long it will be yet (longer than usual that's for sure, but I don't know if I'll have to cut it or not) so please bear with me and the waiting. Thank you to everyone who is reading this fic !


	16. Chantilly, lasagne et indigestion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, sorry it took me so long to write this chapter. It was a really important chapter for me and I did not have a lot of free time those past months. Thanks to everyone who started to read and who followed, kudos and reviewed this fic, I'm touched. Hope you will like this peculiar chapter, it should be the only one written this way.   
> chantilly= whipped cream, when I use it with capital I mean the city.   
> In this chapter Atsushi and the other original characters are speaking in French, but for clear understanding everything is in English. I put the French in italic.  
> Warning: the end of the chapter is nsfw, I don't like tagging and spoiling, but there is clearly dubious consent in this scene, for me the scene and the result is important for their development I just realized more and more how wrong I felt about it after writing it.

Which genius could have decided to whipped cream long enough, had sugar into it to create the perfect accompaniment to all desserts?

Why does the name of chantilly got meddle with the city?

Atsushi interest for History was poor. Nonetheless, his mind kept fuming with questions no one could answer once the subject was food. It was fascinating to him, how men decided to mix ingredients. Or to transform those existing without knowledge of chemistry. It was always about: perfect timing, the right movement of whip, the right heat in an oven, the right amount of ingredients. One mistake; and the chantilly could turn into butter.

It was meticulous, hours could be spent on creating food. Only one thing was demarcating art and food: the last one was made to be consumed. Nothing was left of it at the end of the process; the lifespan of food was really short. Creation for the only pleasure of destruction. At this last thing, Atsushi had no rival.

Atsushi mused while pouring whipped cream over chocolate BN cookie. A child was looking at him expectantly in the train. Atsushi could have offer treat to the kid if the mother did not give him such a nasty gaze. She could be judgmental, if only she knew that from these two suitcases, one of them was completely full with foods, and not green vegetables or organic cookies. He ignored them during the whole travel.

Apart from the castle out of town and the hippodrome which breathed wealth and shined around green grass independently from the weather. In contrast, the city center of Chantilly was boringly sad, gloomy under dark clouds and the promise of rain. Atsushi had no interest for architecture, his only landmark in the city was the grocery market, the bakery and any shop who could sell food. It was not the first time he came into the city and it would not be the last time he ended up lost between the streets to find his hotel room.

After three useless turns in the same streets, two searches on Google maps, Atsushi finally found the way to the hotel ' _L'avenue_ '. It was located in the center of the city, not far away from the lace museum he planned to visit. He checked in and was given the key to his room. He sighed with reassurance when he saw the room: no horse, no accessories reminding him of pony. The city was famous for his hippodrome and his horse museum, so numerous hotels were full with objects reminding those animals.

Two large windows let the light clear the hotel room. Atsushi rolled his suitcases on the dark brown parquet to place them at the end of a king size bed with light brown sheets and beige pillows. He liked this hotel, despite his sobriety. The reason was a large desk placed between two tall windows and a comfortable leather chair to work on. He had to spend most of his time in the room to work. The TV was small, standing on a shelf in one of the corner. He turned it on to let some background noise animate the room. Silence was making him nervous when he was alone, to shut the silence he allowed stupid program to rot his brain.

There was one place he was eager to go in the city. Just the thought of it made his mouth water and his heart pound. Atsushi did not know restriction and the idea was taking over his mind. He stormed out of the room, closed the door and started to search on Google maps for the shortest way to the marketplace; getting lost at this point would just make him angry. He walked at a measured pace, his brain only focused on his destination.

After fifteen minutes, he reached the marketplace with no trouble. It was a small parking lot. There was not a lot of people on the street at three in the afternoon. There was shop all around the place, the library, a supermarket, a pharmacy. Right next to the pharmacy was the goal of his journey. The bakery of Pascal Noppe, there was only one shop in the whole country and Atsushi had been thrilled the first time he found the place. It was more expensive than the bag of chip he was usually eating, but his life motto was that spending money for sweets and food was never a waste and always fair.

Atsushi was living in Paris, which permit him to buy all the _macaron_ he wanted in any place. Except for the fact no one was making _tagada macaron_. (a.n: haribo tagada strawberries) Twenty or more different kinds of cakes were aligned behind the glasses and Atsushi just wanted to eat them all.

"Our favorite client is back!" A young lady with short black hair, dark skin and a fuchsia apron startled all the other clients in the shop while addressing Atsushi. "How long are you staying this time? Sorry, sir" she started talking to another client waiting in line. "Two _chaussons aux pommes_ , one _strüdel_ and one _opéra_ , is that right?" The client nodded. She finished preparing the command with a smile. Atsushi felt at ease in this shop, even if the city was boring and small the people here were less stressed than in Paris and took more times with their clients. She finished serving all the clients and slowly Atsushi turn came.

"Always busy Camille." Atsushi stated.

"Always! So let me guess, twelve _macarons_ : six _tagada_ and six cream cheese, two tagada and pistachio sensation, two homemade snickers..." she was stopped in her listing.

"Naa today I'm just going to take six _macarons_ and one of each cake you mentioned. I'm going to spend two weeks here so I'll have all the time to try your new stuff."

" _Dacodac_! I'll wrap you all of these. Are you still here for lace?" Camille asked nonchalantly why wrapping all the cakes in a box.

"Yes, I have a new project." Atsushi ogled the cakes with craving while disappeared inside the box.

"Good luck with that and don't hesitate to come here." She winked at him while wrapping bolduc around the box.

"You know I like the cheesecake from the boudoir too..."

"You just arrived and you are already talking about cheating on us!" She feigned to be chocked. Atsushi was a very good customer. He came rarely, but their benefice augmented slightly each time he visited. While Claire was crapping his cakes he took out his phone to take a picture and send it by snapchat to Himuro. He received a text a few seconds later saying:

{So unfair Atsushi! I didn't eat anything since this morning , I've been too busy with Araki and Leo.}

{You are supposed to answer with a picture too Muro-chin}

A few seconds later his phone buzzed again and the little ghost from the snapchat icon appeared on his screen. Himuro was sticking out his tongue, his face was all sweaty and reddened from whatever Araki was putting him through. The text on the picture was just saying "happy?". Atsushi smiled, but did not answer anything. He took his package, paid and exit the shop. He walked back slowly toward the hotel eating his _macaron_ , he was not really allowed to eat in the room, but he snuck inside his room and started treating himself while watching 'an almost perfect diner' a TV show where people received others at diner and judged their cooking and hosting quality. Atsushi was free to start working whenever he wanted so he decided to rest tonight.

~*~

One of the reason for Atsushi's second suitcase full of food was the hour of the hotel's breakfast. It was always too early for his taste. Who was hungry at eight in the morning? In this case, with the certitude to wake up at the wanted hour and to get plenty of food to eat: he made provision. It was not fresh toast or pressed orange juice; but _kinder délice_ , _prince de lu_ and _mikado_ were just enough for him. He could wake up at eleven and still be hungry for lunch later.

In order to survive two weeks, Atsushi had a list, like a patient had a prescription. He brought one pack of chips for every two days, fourteen packs would not fit in a medium suitcase. One pack of mikado for each day, no more for the same reason. Then, various boxes of BN, Prince and one of kinder. It was the only chocolate cake he allowed because of the cold weather. He only brought six bags of candy from Monoprix -crocodile, tagada strawberry and eggs-. He thought so well of his food, he realized last night he forgot his shampoo and his brush. Thus, he would need to buy one later.

He sat cross legged on his bed and sent a 'good morning' text to Himuro. TV program were insipid at this hour, he decided to let ran music clip just to erase the silence.

{Good morning Atsushi, did you only just woke up? Did you sleep well?} was Himuro answer.

{Not bad, I was hungry so I couldn't sleep any longer.} Atsushi slipped a biscuit between his teeth while tapping his text. Calling was easier, he preferred to speak with his mouth full rather than texting. A chance he learned to eat without using too much his hands, one must find a way to eat in every condition.

{ _bon appétit_! I'm sorry I have to stop texting or I'll put paint all over my phone. I'll be free later tonight.}

Atsushi sighed on his kinder since there was nothing to keep him occupied he left the bed; direction the bathroom. He tried to find his toothbrush and his toilet case in the other suitcase -who was less ordered than the food one-

Once clean and ready, it was already twelve o'clock and all his mind could think about was his lunch. There was no kitchen in the room, so he had to take all his meal outside. The hotel was also a restaurant so he just decided to go down and asked for a hamburger, some fries and a coke.

He decided to take it easy for today, it was an important day: he would know if his project would be realizable. If not, he could just take a train back to Paris. He wanted to work on the collection, but now he was in this city he felt empty of all motivation. He took a snapchat of his meal and send it to Himuro with the text "too small". He commanded one dessert and ate it slowly, he was waiting for two o'clock, the museum would not be opened before.

Since he had time to waste he walked toward Simply market, the supermarket in the center of the city, to buy a shampoo and a brush. Over all, he checked out the location of the candies.

The museum was located at some minutes by foot from the center of the city. It was located in the cultural center. Here, stood a building with light brick, three silver stars hanged on the wall, the mention "ville de Chantilly" was engraved on the stones at the top of the building, surmounted by the coat of arms of the city. A small passage lead into a court to meet a different looking building sheltering the lace and heritage museum. Red bricks warmed the building while white bricks encircled large windows of an eighteenth century looking French building, a peaked tower stood at the right of the building, giving a castle atmosphere to the small court.

Atsushi never paid attention to architectural details, he remembered turning three times in the court the first time he went there, incapable of finding the museum by himself. A grumpy old lady had hailed him to enquire what he wanted, not believing one instant a man with purple hair and a dubious fashion style had any serious business to do in this place. This time he entered the place on his first try and walked to the old lady -a different one- that was at the reception. It was too early and in the middle of the week, out of the season there was no client yet to visit the museum.

"Hello, Do you know if Mamie Sophie is here today?" Atsushi asked politely.

"Good afternoon, she won't come here today. Do you want me to leave her a message?" The old lady answered suspiciously, Atsushi guessed it was unusual to have people enquiring for Mamie Sophie out of the blue.

"Would it be possible to call her at home?" Atsushi should have done it, but he did not have her phone number, nor even her address.

"May I ask why?" The old lady started being wary, Atsushi was used to it, not a lot of people gave him their trust at first sight.

"My name is Atsushi, I am a fashion designer, I already worked with Mamie Sophie in the past and I would like to ask her to work for me again." Atsushi was already bored, he was wasting time, not that his time was in any way precious, but he had a lot to explain to Mamie Sophie.

Still unsure, the old lady decided to use the phone at the reception to call Mamie Sophie. After five minutes of explanation, the old lady announced that Mamie Sophie was on her way to the museum so she could meet with him. While waiting he entered the museum, it was just two rooms with a few works exposed. The interesting things were the explanation and the demonstration of the lace. This lace was pretty and peculiar enough to make this little museum interesting.

He stayed in front of the dress exposed behind a glass and imagined Himuro wearing it. The dress was white and would melt with his creamy skin, the black laces would remind of the dark color of his hair and the amount of confidence needed to wear such a dress would match his calm and sometime haughty face.

An happy voice brought him back to reality. He turned and next to the door a small and thin lady with white hair brushed in a high ponytail waved him hello. He joined her and put his giant arms around her small body for a quick hug.

"Atsushi! I'm so happy to see you again, come, come, we'll install ourselves upstairs and I'll prepare tea, I brought some chocolate cake!"

Atsushi eyes lit up at the mention and she smiled sweetly. She led him behind a door who hid a storage room and stairs. At the next floor they entered a room with comfy old chair and a little oval table. There was just a little cupboard along one of the wall, some chairs and tables with ' _dentellière_ ' -or lace worktable- so they could have a break once in a while with her friend. She took the kettle and disappeared to go fetch some water in the nearest bathroom before putting the water to boil. After five other minutes, the tea was ready and Atsushi was already the full mouth of chocolate. He declined the tea, either was it tea or coffee he hated it if the proportion of milk and sugar in the beverage was not third times the quantity of tea.

"So Atsushi, what made you leave Paris this time?" Mamie Sophie was smiling while drinking her tea.

"Mamie Sophie, I need your help with another one of my creations."

"Tell me, tell me." Her smile grew bigger and her excitement showed in the way her back slightly arched and her hands tightened on her teacup. "It was such a joy to help you with that dress the last time!"

Atsushi began to explain his project. As he was not really good with verbal explanation he took out the drawings he had brought with him. Mamie listened seriously, she searched for a pen and started to take note next to the drawings, she started to think about more detailed pattern than the one Atsushi had sketched. Her mind was also counting the time needed for such a confection.

"Do you think it is possible?" Atsushi asked, eager to know if his trip would be useful or not.

"You know very well it isn't Atsushi...This is a simple piece and yet it'll ask more work than last time... A chance most of my friends are retired and needed pocket money. Give me two more days, to contact everyone and to think about it, then I'll give you my answer."

"Thank you Mamie Sophie."

"Can I keep the drawing for a while?"

"Yes you can keep it, it's copy of the originals anyway. I just need you to sign this even if you did not agree to work yet."

"Oh, It's your boss being paranoiac again?"

"Hmm."

Atsushi made her sign a paper of confidentiality. Everything she saw, learned, or which were landed to her about the project would not be able to be discussed with anyone outside of the persons that were going to work on it. She would have to discuss about the project without explaining all the details before her friends agreed to work for Atsushi and signed the same paper. Akashi was afraid of work being stolen, or just the media learning about Atsushi new collection and new pieces which could ruin an entire collection before it even started. She signed the paper and they parted this way. Atsushi knew by this point Mamie Sophie would do everything possible to bring a team big enough to realize the project.

Atsushi left the place and after some wondering decided to go buy an _éclair au chocolat_ at the bakery to eat on his way back to the hotel room. Now that he had to wait for the answer he would be able to work tomorrow. If Araki heard he was not doing anything, his life could be at stake. Not that he even cared about it in the past. He just felt the motivation to work rise again after seeing Mamie Sophie. No one knew how long this sparks could last with someone like Atsushi.

Once in the hotel room, his stomach almost full -as if the later was possible. Atsushi did not feel hunger, with the rumble and pain stomach, he just felt a hole, something to be filled and the only thing which put him at ease was food, sweets and salty food to be precise.- he took a pen and a sketchbook then started to doodle some things. He took note of patterns he had seen in the day, he thought about the dress he imagined on Himuro and try to visualize other clothes on him.

Minutes passed, he stretched out legs and arms in front of him, yawned with all his might and lent his forehead on the desk. It was all shit. His ideas were shit. Since he started this collection this problem never occurred. He had drawn without respite in the studio and was always satisfied at the end of the day. He pout and opened his bag of chips by rite. Once his mouth full he grabbed the phone and dialed Himuro's number, thinking sending a text would be too much of a pain. The phone rang three times before the usual change of tone meant someone had answered.

"Hello Muro-chin!" Atsushi sang out, articulating approximately.

"Atsushi? Is everything alright?" Himuro used the worried tone of someone who expects bad news.

"Yeah ... Everything is fine ... What were you worried about?"

"Well, it's quite late." Atsushi had not checked the hour, it was already ten, the night had fallen and since the light was on since he came back in the room he had lost track of time. "I was surprised by your phone call."

"I was working so I did not see the time..."

There was a silence over the phone.

"Muro-chin?"

"I'm here" He did not look started, just as calm as usual. "What did you do today?"

"I met the person who is going to take care of my project. I'm still waiting for her approval, but she wouldn't miss such a chance."

"I'm glad if everything went well." Himuro contentment was always subtle to hear, but his voice was always gently purring when he was talking to Atsushi. The calm and slow pace of his voice was one of the reason he kept Himuro by his side.

“What did you do today Muro-chin?”

“I worked on my project. Apparently you gave homework to Leo so he has less time to spend. Araki said we went through the basic and that daily training was not needed for the moment. So, I have time to paint and create. This is weird … I’m finally being paid to work on my art, but it’s not the reason that I have been hired.”

“You think too many things Muro-chin, but you do well to work on your painting, you can stay at your home while I'm away. I’m going to apply myself on my project and work tomorrow too!” Atsushi had a spark of motivation which got him itchy to grab a pen and draw. He heard Himuro yawn at the end of the phone.

“You better go to sleep Muro-chin!”

“You are right; I wish you a good night Atsushi.” Himuro yawned again; Atsushi just said, “night” in answer and hung up the phone.

During the phone call Atsushi let his bag of chips untouched. Once the silence took over the room again, he grabbed a pen and started to sketch little things. Light clothes, gentle clothes. He could give human adjective to clothes, but never the impression left by someone gave him ideas to create new ones. He always based himself on food, texture and sensation. He never thought about the change in his method and kept drawing one hour more before going to sleep.

~*~

Effort was a concept no one could have explained to Atsushi.

Genius would not be a word applied to describe Atsushi.

Despite making no efforts, Atsushi possessed the talent to create piece of arts able to mark the History of fashion at the age of twenty four.

The downside of every prodigy is; the talent they may have does not erase the big default they show to the world.

As an example, after awakening at noon, the biggest achievement of Atsushi so far was to eat two bags of chips for breakfast, to drink one bottle of coke, one bag of candy and still have an operational stomach for lunch.

Anyone who met Atsushi would advise him to participate in food contest rather than being a fashion designer.

At some point, after leaving his pajamas to put on clothes. He opened a sketchbook, grabbed a pen and thought about the best way to pin his hair with this said pen. After three missed attempt at making a bun, he just threw the pen in a corner of the room and challenged him to come back by itself.

A little of the motivation from the previous day slithered back inside him. The library was right next to the bakery he liked, so with the promise of food later he walked outside the hotel room to the library. He started making research on the lace from Chantilly. He knew they had a small collection which shown patterns and examples of dress made in the past.

Marie Antoinette was one of the rare historic figure which he remembered from his high school classes in France. He remembered seeing his dress for the first time, thus giving her name to one of his collection. He learned that the laces from Chantilly was one of her favorite and it made him curious. There was nothing boring about this woman who lived through her desire, despite all the things which have been taken away from her.

In high school someone asked him to wear a dress to act like her in a theater act. A dress was the only costume who could fit him, but he accepted with hidden glee. Mostly because, her most infamous sentences “let them eat cake” was a good excuse for him to eat cake all day long, either she really did say the words or not.

Atsushi had to think about simple things and not the blazing dresses of Marie Antoinette.

Clear up his mind and think about nothing was another one of his talent.

New ideas for his collection appeared one after the other.

He left the library satisfied, bought two cakes at the bakery and went home. He tried to call Himuro without success and fell asleep while watching TV.

~*~

Cutting yourself while shaving.

Heavy rain falling down right on the windows.

Burning your tongue with the morning coffee that lacked sugar.

Signs of a bad morning, reasons to be grumpy.

No answer from his phone, despite a good reception.

No answer from his text or snapchat.

Dead silent.

Stomach being full. Suitcase being emptied.

No motivation. No strength. No wants. No needs.

Too bored to sleep, too sleepy to work.

One lightened screen popping random images matched by corresponding sound.

More rain falling on the windows.

A big black pitch inside the suitcase.

Nothing more to eat. Nothing more to do. Not enough strength to go outside and buy more. Enough strength to command some pizza and getting delivered in the hotel room. It was not recommended, he did it nonetheless.

Feeling a hole in your stomach the pizza cannot fill. A slight pain in your chest which was not there before. Your thoughts constantly coming back to the same person. A craving need, the sensation of being naked with your clothes still on. The unwelcome sensation of missing heat.

Eating hot pizza. Slipping into another sweat shirt. Slipping tomatoes sauce on this same shirt. Doing anything in your power to gain back the heat. To stop the craving. To annihilate your thoughts.

Dizziness from the vertigo fear can create at the realization.

Deny, accompanied by a radical change of thoughts.

You need to buy more food. You need to go outside. You need to do anything to forget the scary thoughts who popped into your mind when your brain became aware of the things you lack, of the things you want, of the dumbness of them all.

You need more food. You do not need anything else, never did.

Atsushi went outside, it was already late and the sky was dark. The rain was still pouring, he did not bother to take an umbrella with him. He went to the supermarket and filled a basket with candies and biscuit. The hotel room staff could get lost if they were unhappy with his behavior.

He did not get back to the hotel immediately. To make a detour toward Mamie Sophie home was necessary, it could mutate his mood to a next stage. He called her now that he knew her phone number. She answered quickly and they decided to meet at “the English shop” who like his name said sells objects in provenance of Great Britain like teacup, magazines and British cakes.

Atsushi arrived first in the shop. He was welcomed with a counter filled with cakes, small empty tables and two chairs waited for customer in front of it. Next to the counter stand an old lady behind a cash register. At his right there was the various object sell in the shop. Atsushi ask if it was okay to sit and ordered a cheesecake. Mamie Sophie arrived soon after and asked for Ceylan tea with a scone.

“Nervous?” Mamie Sophie asked with a smug grin.

“Nope. You’ll say yes.”

“Sure of yourself.” She drank a sip of tea before going on. “You are right, I brought enough people willing to work on the project. You will need to give me more detailed drawings of the pattern. At least ideas.”

“I still need to think about it…” He looked at his cake, he never felt remorse from his lack of work. The reason of his bother was the blurry pictures who filled his mind. He had no clear ideas anymore, they all seemed bad and unfitting. “I need some more time, then I’ll send you everything. I have the right measurements already, I forgot to give them to you the last time.” Now the project was fully started, he could give away more details. “how many people are on the project finally?”

“Twenty-one. There is never enough hands anyway and it will always go faster with many people.”

“Thank you Mamie.” He looked at his half finished cake, put the fork down and looked at the night sky. The rain was thinner, his hair was drying slowly inside the shop. Tomorrow he would work on the details of his project. Tomorrow. He took out his phone to check the screen for any new notification. Nothing.

They finished eating in silence. Mamie Sophie got up and petted Atsushi’s hair before waving her goodbye.

He reached the hotel.

He opened one bag of chips. The bag slept and the content emptied on the floor. He did not pick them off the floor.

The rain was still hitting the windows.

This has been a bad day, he went to sleep without asking for more. 

~*~

The rain was still pouring outside the hotel room. An empty bag of chips was lying on the bed. Half of his content exposed on the floor. Hour of the crime: half past ten last night. The hotel room was dead silent, empty of any life form.

Atsushi got up extraordinarily early this morning. He knew the bakery did not open before nine o'clock, but he knew of another one who opened up early. Croissant would be enough to calm his stomach. He could have asked something at the restaurant of the hotel, but he was too far away when the thought occurred to him. It was unlike him to forget the easiest way of doing things.

At nine he reached the Pascal Noppe bakery after he finished his third croissant.

"Wow Atsushi? You are here early!" Camille seemed happy to see him, the promise of the weekend always made her joyful.

"was hungry..." Atsushi grumbled.

"Are you alright? You don't seem well."

"'m fine..." Atsushi just shrugged his shoulders, his lips were pouting from time to time, his eyebrows wrinkled while he was trying to think about what annoyed him. Then, his face relaxed at the sight of the cakes and he smiled sweetly pouring all his mind in his stomach to fulfill his need.

"Hey we just opened and Friday morning are usually quite calm, do you want to come in the back room to eat your cake?" Camille smiled and started to take two cakes as if she was reading Atsushi's thoughts.

After one cake, Atsushi started to talk. They sat in a little room with a table, two chairs, a micro wave and a fridge in a corner. It was the break room for the people who worked at the bakery. Atsushi talked about trivial things, he described the texture of the cake and why the flavors were exquisite. How the colors were instantly appealing to the eyes. Camille smiled at all the compliment and listened to everything Atsushi had to say.

She remembered the last time he came in the shop, they had bickered about how the flavor of his _Napolitain_ were adjusted badly and how the taste would be better if they put the vanilla at the center and not at the bottom of the cake. Atsushi showed her a drawing to argue his points and she asked him what he was doing in life. She was sure to remember that the last time they talked, Atsushi never mentioned a 'Muro-chin' whatever it might be. It could have been his cat, or his butler, maybe a house elf for all she could understand. She understood one thing, Atsushi was missing him.

"Muro-chin doesn't answer to my phone call ... Maybe something happened ... I'm bored to death here, he could answer me. He is working for me, anybody would answer to his boss when they call. He better makes me food to apologize when I come back. "

The litany kept going before Camille slept an obvious idea.

"Atsushi ... You should go back to Paris if you miss him that much."

An heavy silence entered the room. Atsushi's face became cold and anger clouded his eyes.

"I don't miss him! I came here to work and I can't concentrate. It's unbearable I don't want to do anything, but they all expect of me to come back with works. I can't come back empty-handed, well I don't care, I'm the boss after all. It has nothing to do with that, don't be stupid." Atsushi put his fork back with strength on his plate, the noise resonated in the little room, almost hiding the doorbell of the bakery announcing a new client. Camille got up to greet the person.

"Am I the stupid one?" She asked Atsushi with a raised eyebrow.

The client took his sweet time to chose and as she was handling his chance she saw Atsushi storming out of the shop, thanking her for the food and telling her something she almost did not catch. She smiled fondly at the giant purple figure who... shit, did not pay for anything he ate! She was the angry one now. The next time he came she would make him pay double and he had better bring back this 'Muro-chin' person with him.

~*~

Somewhere, in one apartment, not so far away from Montmartre, a bell rang in the silence. No sound on the other side. Someone was living in the flat, but he was not waiting for any visitor. The bell rang longer, as if someone lazily forgot to let go of the button. Only one person used to let the bell ring in this peculiar way. The door opened immediately on a startled Himuro. It was too soon to be asleep; eleven in the morning, Atsushi smiled sheepishly while entering the flat. Himuro's face had frozen in stupor.

"Why are you here already?" Himuro asked him nonplussed while closing the door.

Atsushi slalomed between the sheet of paper on the floor, the tube of paints, the empty cups of coffee and the general disorder which was really unusual for Himuro. He reached the couch safely and let himself fall on it with a loud sound. He let Himuro take care of his suitcases. he did not return to his own place yet, which he could have done, but it was in the opposite direction.

"Muro-chin wouldn't answer his phone." As if this simple explanation warranted the travel back.

"Oh." A flash crossed Himuro's eyes and he ran to his bedroom, ransacked to find something. "I completely forgot about it!" Himuro screamed from his bedroom to Atsushi. He came back with the mobile who has been turned off for days. "I let the battery die..." Himuro's face was smiling as if it was a laughing matter.

Another flash, Himuro realized something and horror marked his face. He threw an old rag full of paint on Atsushi's eyes.

"Don't look around you!" Himuro's voice almost shoot.

Atsushi had already taken a quick look at all the paintings on the floor and the wall, but he guessed Himuro would get angry if he found out about his project. He had taken him by surprise, coming back a whole week in advance. With inhuman speed Himuro took possession of all his paintings and drawing to hide them in his bedroom.

"Why did not you call Leo to ask him about me?" Himuro asked, stubborn to find an explanation. Atsushi shrugged. Once everything was clean and hidden, Himuro came back in the main room. Atsushi had started to play on his phone, finding a pretext to ignore any conversation. He came back on an impulse because Chantilly was boring and he could not work there. No other reason.

"Atsushi, are you hungry?" He shook his head, not taking his eyes off his phone screen.

" _Oui_ "

"I got ingredients to make lasagna, is it alright for you? It should be ready in an hour or so."

"Cool."

Atsushi could have talked about his week, but he did not feel in the mood. He could have asked questions to Himuro about his collection and teased him about the little he saw. He just kept playing on his phone until Himuro finally broke the silence.

"Lasagna, it's one of the rare things I got from my mother, so I hope you'll like them."

Atsushi took his eyes off his phone one second and sat up straighter while keeping playing. It was the first time Himuro mentioned his family.

"Your real mum?"

"Yes" Himuro laughed understanding what Atsushi meant." I did not pick a mother like I picked my brother. We did not eat a lot together, she was really busy, but she taught me how to cook them."

"Did you live alone with your mum?" The story had picked Atsushi curiosity, he stopped playing finding himself unable to do two things at the same time.

"Yes, my mum is Japanese, but she was born and raised in America. Her parents moved during the world war two. Anyway, she met my dad during a trip to Japan." Himuro had finished taking care of the tomatoes, carrot and celery while talking. Atsushi watched him intensely, fascinated by the dexterity. He chopped vegetables with a knife fast and with concision.

"Your parents are not together anymore?" Atsushi had to keep asking questions if he wanted to know more. The knife kept chopping and slicing with precision while Himuro calmly told the story of his parents.

"My mum did not want to live in Japan, she loved America too much. My dad did not want to move away from Japan. End of story. I never went to Japan so I never met my real dad, my mum left without knowing she was pregnant as a matter of fact. She decided to raise me alone and to tell nothing to my father. She learned to make lasagna when she was a student, she fell in love with Italian food but never explained to me why."

From Atsushi's point of view it was difficult to tell if Himuro was affected by his family's story. His face was concentrate on preparing the bechamel.

"You never wanted to meet your father?" Atsushi knew both of his parents. He had a large family, it was suffocating to think about Himuro living only with his mother.

"I never had the chance and I never missed someone I never met."

"You said you did not eat a lot with your mum."

"She was often occupied with work, she had to pay bills by herself and she put money aside for my studies."

Atsushi thought about the kind of life Himuro went through. He imagined little Himuro alone in a flat, micro waving lasagna made by his mum and eating alone at every meal. Atsushi had never suffered a meal alone when he was living back in Japan. He did not miss his family anymore, but the rupture has been weird. The independence suddenly given to him had made him even more unable to take care of himself.

"She must have been sad when she learned you wanted to do something like art, with no promise of a stable future."

Himuro sighed.

"We fought over it ... I had to prove to her that I was able to live with my own art and that I would make her proud of my work. I did not succeed yet, but we are not in bad terms, it's just, she would have like something more 'stable' like you said." Himuro hid quickly the bitter look that crossed his feature while mentioning the fight with her mum.

"Are we doomed to fight over something too then? You seem to fight with everyone."

Himuro bitterly laughed at the remark. Atsushi had not thought about Himuro's feeling while stating the obvious, but he kept wondering how a fight between them would go. Atsushi get up from the couch and stayed behind Himuro to watch the preparation from closer. He did that a lot with his mum too, watching her cook his bento for him, making little remark about her putting too much vegetable and not enough chips.

"The only time I fought with my mum was because she refused to buy me a giant cake..." Atsushi admitted.

Himuro turned around and smiled at him with this weird look which made Atsushi bothered. His inside were doing a weird loop, his heart skipped a beat and he had to take his eyes off a moment to look at him again. He had never seen anyone looked at him like that before and it gave him bad chills. It was different from the look he had during the drawing session. For unexplained reason he did not want to see this look on Himuro's face, it pissed him off.  

One more hour passed and Himuro's lasagna were finally hot and trembling. For once they both sat at the bar of the apartment and did not turn on the television. The ate in silence. Atsushi gobbled up his share probably too quickly and took another one just to find the right words to explain how good the dish was.

"I am glad you came back to be honest, this flat became boring without you around."

Atsushi shrugged at the commentary. He was glad to be back too, especially now he was able to eat something as delicious.

"You can make as much lasagna as you want Muro-chin, it'll always make me come back."

Once they finished eating, Himuro washed the dishes and Atsushi prepared to go to bed. His belly full and the travel made him sleepy and he just wanted to get under the cover.

The bed did not stay cold for too long. He kept the smaller body as close to him as he could. He felt really content. The lasagna was probably the reason, but the heat he has been missing and the empty hole in his stomach seemed to be full again.

~*~

If Atsushi had to choose his favorite position, it would be spooning. He loved to feel the heat of Himuro's back on his belly, to rest his chin on top of his head and encircled his arms around the firm frame that was still slender than his one. Himuro had a foreign smell to him, it soothed him the first night they slept together and Atsushi just slowly got closer to him, to seek heat and comfort. He had felt Himuro would let him do, the first time he hugged him from behind Himuro just sighed in appreciation and put his hands on Atsushi's arm, tugging him closer.

This night he changed of plan, they took off their clothes to just keep their boxer and went to sleep. Before Himuro could turn his back, Atsushi encircled him with his arms and gently pushed Himuro toward him while he rested on his back. Himuro put his head on the crook of his neck. He slid one leg around Atsushi's and one arm against his torso. He fell asleep quite quickly. Atsushi could not sleep on his back, he needed to be on his side so he turned around in the night, keeping Himuro's legs between him, bringing his body closer so to still feel the heat against his belly and he let both their head rest on the pillows.

It was not the first time they slept closer or face to face. It was the first time Atsushi felt something different against his thigh in the morning. He woke up perplexed, his mind still being fogged by sleep. He brought his thigh closer to Himuro's crotch and could feel the erection which was tugging at Himuro's boxer. Atsushi moved his thigh again, and the slight pressure he applied made Himuro bring his hips closer to ease the tension.

Curiosity made him move. He slowly slid his thigh against Himuro's crotch and received a movement of hips in return. Himuro wanted to have sex with him that simple thought made him slide his hand and push his thumb against the half erected length. A moan emanated from Himuro's lips, and it made Atsushi even more curious. Himuro was asleep, but could still feel everything. Atsushi could have stopped right now, Himuro's hand gripping his back was no obligation to continue. Atsushi wanted to see it by himself, the result of Himuro's body being touched. Why did Himuro wanted him with the same need Atsushi wanted food? Not thinking anymore Atsushi used his palm to stroke Himuro's cock against the boxer. Himuro's hips started to buck back into his hand, searching for more friction.

Could Himuro guess it was Atsushi touching him? Or did he imagine someone else? Someone with red hair and weird eyebrows. The thoughts enervate him and he tugged on the boxer, letting Himuro naked and exposed, the piece of clothing trapped between his thighs. Atsushi eyes were used to the darkness, but he did not care about observing, he was curious. Would Himuro make the same face that in the bathroom, would he come in his sleep? Atsushi just slowly licked his thumb like after eating a bag of chips and run the digit along Himuro length, another exhale of breath opened Himuro's mouth. He did the movement a second time then slowly closed his other fingers around Himuro.

Atsushi received one hand job in the past, it was far away and his brain made a good job at pushing the memory aside. Regarding his level of masturbation, it was close to zero. When he was younger he never felt the frustration which came with abstinence. His brain never thought about sex, never felt the need, he never searched for porn, his friends were not the kind to talk about it. He realized quite young it felt good when you rubbed yourself again the mattress of your bed, but he never found it as satisfying as eating a whole chocolate cake before going to sleep.

This was the first time he was willing to touch someone else out of his own volition. He stroked slowly, using only two fingers and his thumb, slowly bringing Himuro to full erection. Himuro breathing got louder so Atsushi accelerated the pacing, engendering a moan to escape. Atsushi pushed him against the mattress to let him rest on his back. Himuro opened his legs and his hips started to follow the movement of Atsushi's hand, not always in good sync. His hands were gripping the sheet with strength, still asleep. Atsushi was on his knees, looking at him from higher, his hand still testing the pacing and the angles. He realized the tip of Himuro's cock was wet, his thumb went to push against the slit, winning another moan, and slowly draw circles on the head.

He wanted to disheveled him, to destroy his calm face, to put red on his light skin. So, he accelerated the pace, basing his movement on Himuro's voice, gauging if it felt good or not. When the surprised moan of pleasure escaping Himuro's mouth became too loud, his eyes went grand open. He looked at Atsushi and gasped in surprise. His hips were caught in a rhythm he could not stop and Atsushi started to stroke him a little harder now that he was awake. The result was here, Himuro's face was a mess, his breathing was erratic and the sound was filling the room. Himuro's hand moved in an attempt to reach Atsushi, but the boy was out of his grasp. He just gripped the sheet tighter.

Atsushi felt full power over Himuro's condition, he had pinned him on the bed and only his hand could give him what he wanted. He felt blood rush to his lower Half, he felt excitement for the first time in a long time. He still did not want to have sex with Himuro, but he could give Himuro exactly what he wanted.

With his free hand he opened Himuro's legs more, he slowly started to stroke slowly again before raising the pace. He would make Himuro hit his orgasm now. He started to touch Himuro's balls, before slowly sliding his fingers to the skin he knew was very sensitive. By the time he started to touch Himuro here, his hand was at full speed and with moans for only indication: he knew.

The next second, Himuro was coming, hips raising, staining his belly and Atsushi's hand with sperm. He did not let go of the sheet and started to try calming his breathing first. Atsushi looked at him with attention, some daylight could give him enough indications. He knew the face during orgasm had nothing appealing, but now he was expecting happiness on Himuro's face, calm and serenity of some sort. Himuro's upper lip started to tremble, his fist were shaking around the fabric he was holding with even more strength. Tears were gathering in the corner of his closed eyes. He did not start to sob in happiness.

Next thing Atsushi knew someone was pulling on his hair, the surprise made him fall back on the bed and the only kiss who reached his cheek was a full strength punch who cut the inside of his mouth and made him bleed. Atsushi eyes were stormed with anger now, not even understanding what was happening and matching the expression of rage on Himuro's face.

" _Putain! Qu'est ce qui te prends_?" [Fuck, what are you doing?] Atsushi shouted in French, forgetting Himuro's basic notion of the language.

"Get the fuck out before I beat the shit out of you" was Himuro answer, his voice cold shook with rage and emotion. He got out of the bed and pointed a finger toward the exit to let Atsushi follow the destination.

" _C'est quoi ton putain de problème_?"[What is your fuckin' problem?] Atsushi voice was dark and calm too, building with anger. He felt insensitive to Himuro's tears and pained look as incomprehension clouded his judgment.

Atsushi gathered his clothes and got out of the room. He dressed himself as quick as he could, got a grab on his suitcase and get out of the apartment. Once outside, he was hit by the cold temperature, his brain calming instantly to the chock. He felt so much anger, not even realizing he was hurt in his pride. Himuro had fully rejected him, all this month, watching him like a piece of meat and it was his answer in the end? He could go fuck his brother now for all Atsushi was concerned.

_To be continued..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the BN cookie that Atsushi is eating in the train, I never saw them outside of France but this is the definition of happiness, I love BN -and I precise that no one is eating those with whipped cream-  
> http://ou-trouver-a-montreal.ca/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/biscuits-bn-montreal.jpg  
> For those who wonder how the laces from chantilly looks like : http://i15.servimg.com/u/f15/11/95/19/37/104_0110.jpg  
> http://www.oslhp.net/museum/Virtual%20Museum/Clothing,%20Victorian%20and%20Civil%20War/Chantilly%20Lace%20Shawl/Chantilly%20Lace%20Shawl.jpg
> 
> It's really pretty and thin, the museum is super small but the laces doesn't look like others and it's black so on clothes it's just stunning. 
> 
> The wait for this chapter was exceptional, I already started to write bit of the next chapter and I'll try to post more regularly from now on, this chap was a special one, I put pressure on myself about it because I did not want to mess it so it took me time (I'm not even entirely satisfied but I'll never be so.)


	17. aplats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to all new reader and kudoer. and thank you for easing my doubts.

By the time morning came, Himuro could feel deception overpower his disgust and anger. Sleep had forgotten to allow him a way into oblivion. His brain was wheeling last night's memories, nourishing his desire to hit Atsushi anew, to hurt him until the only sensation left was the pain shacking his knuckles - not the memory of long fingers raising heat in his whole body. His own moans echoed disgustingly in his head like some stupid pop song you can't shake off. Every whine of pleasure played back while he tried to wipe out the image of Atsushi's possessive gaze. He used to dream about those eyes looking at his body, now he just wished he would never see his face again.

~*~

The look of worry on Leo's face reduced all the courage Himuro mastered to walk to the studio today into a sharp pang in the stomach. Araki was standing against a wall, her arms crossed. Her presence surprised Himuro as she was supposed to be at school today.

"What happened?" Leo asked warily.

"Nothing. Why are you here Masako?" Himuro played it cool and smiled as usual.

"We got a phone call." Masako started, kicking her back off the wall to walk toward Himuro. "From Akashi. Whatever happened, you need to go to Atsushi's place and bring him back to work again."

Information flooded Himuro's brain. His smile froze in a wince when he heard the name of Akashi. No matter what happened between them in private. Why does the name of the big boss found itself included in the story? Himuro focused on the words "go to Atsushi's place". Fuck no. He would just hit him again. Following, the obvious conclusion hit him.

"Does he wanna quit the project?"

In summary, Himuro would lose his job at some point. He would never see Atsushi again and would be excluded from his circle of friends to avoid trouble? Then, would he have no other choice but to go back to New York? This was Atsushi's reaction? He should have expected it, he knew since the beginning with which type of personality he was playing with. Anger clouded his brain yet again as a situation he was victim of could hold so many bad consequences for him.

"So this is gonna be my fault? He is gonna make me take the blame?"

Leo took hold of one of his hand and locked eyes with him. The pain and worries on Leo's face became blurred the moment Himuro realized he was crying again. It was silent tears of frustration, but even Araki walked closer. They both wanted to know. Himuro was incapable to tell. Himuro breathed and dried his eyes with his sleeve.

"I'll go to his house, but I can't promise I will bring him back in one piece." His threat was broken by his shaking voice.

"Do you want me to go instead?" Leo offered. "This won't be the first time we have to deal with him."

"Thank you, but I am probably the only one who can resolve this shit." The last thing Himuro wanted was for Leo to hear the story from Atsushi's mouth.

~*~

Leo wrote down Atsushi's address on Himuro's phone. Atsushi's apartment stood in a narrow, calm street near the station Sevres-Babylon. The distance with the studio explained why Atsushi spent so much time at Himuro's place. Leo gave him the code allowing him access to the building, and also a key he could use if Atsushi refused to open him. They had imagined solutions for every situation. Himuro climbed the spiral stairs to reach the first floor and looked at the door on the right. Behind it laid Atsushi in an unknown state.

He knocked on the door. Waited one full minute. Then, knocked again.

Reluctantly he took the key out of his pocket and gave it a turn in the lock. He felt insecure trespassing into someone else house without their agreement.

"Atsushi?" He called in the dark. The shutters were closed and curtains killed the last sunrays who dared to cross the room. Himuro walked blindly into the foreign space. He whispered Atsushi's name a second time, praying for an answer. His feet were sliding on the parquet and the only time he took a step a big noise echoed in the silent apartment and made his heart jump in fear. The big noise was followed by a crispy sound. He connected the dot: he had walked on a bag of chips and ruined them with his foot.

Himuro took a step back, put his hand on the wall and searched for a switch. He slid his fingers blindly until the cold plastic followed by a button allowed him to turn the light on, thus revealing the room. The kitchen was immediately standing on his right. It was a simple kitchen, with a sink and some food cabinet decorated with animals sticker next to a refrigerator covered with magnet offered in food package. On his left was a small table with two chairs. A mountain of food was piling on the table, giving an explanation for the bag of chips on the floor. Two large windows were obstructed and facing a large television on the opposite wall. In front of him was a door leading to Atsushi's bedroom.

Himuro opened the door and switched the light on. All he could see behind the curtains of Atsushi white oak canopy bed was a mauve mass of sheet. The mass moved and a form emerged, Atsushi got out of bed, his cover still around his shoulder like a superhero cape. His eyes were ajar and his mouth wild open by a yawn.

" _Dégage_." Some seconds of silence. "Get. the. fuck. out." The words came slowly out of Atsushi's mouth, cold and acid. The déjà-vu experience struck Himuro, he had spit the same words at Atsushi's face last night.

"So, you want to stop working on this collection? You give up because you screwed up with your main model?"

"Don't be so cocky, I can find any model I want." Atsushi's voice raged with anger this time and Himuro knew he had hit the nail correctly.

"Then go ahead and finish what you started. Did you have to include Akashi just to mess things up a little bit more?"

Atsushi let the sheet fall on the floor revealing a pink pajamas with white dot on it, looking anything but menacing, despite his size. Himuro's eyes were caught by the sheet landing on a white sheep carpet strew by wrapping papers of different kinds of biscuits and candies. The bed was not in a better state. Himuro could only guess since when the disorder was in progress.

"If you finished you can leave now." Atsushi invited, showing the way to the door with his arm.

"I don't think I can leave until you apologize." Himuro was ready for confrontation, lack of sleep and anger aside it has to be done. He had kicked off Atsushi of his flat, not of his life. But Atsushi's reaction today would settle things definitively.

"I don't have anything to apologize about. I am not sorry." Atsushi scowled while he put on some teddy bear slippers.

"Are you even aware of what you did?" Himuro knew the answer was 'no', he knew Atsushi would not answer the question honestly. It still crossed his lips, freeing him of the anger who was building up again in him.

"It's been month you looked at me like it was the only thing you wanted from me, now that you got it, don't ask me to apologize." Atsushi growled between his teeth.

Himuro grabbed him by the collar, ready to give him another blow. He had to reach him with words, not fist, but in New York they used to fight more than they talked.

"You said you hated sex. I respected it and never made a move toward you. Why do you think I asked you to leave yesterday?"

"I don't know. I don't understand why..." Atsushi voice shifted, insecurity and real incomprehension tainted it. Himuro wondered how an adult could still be unaware of his acts to the point he denied his own mistakes.

"You never asked for my consent Atsushi."

Silence revered those words as a prayer so they took their time to sink into Atsushi's head. Himuro hand left his collar to land on his shoulder. He had kept his voice strong and sharp, weakening now would give Atsushi an advantage.

"You wanted me to touch you..." was Atsushi defense.

"You never asked me if I did. The fact I felt attracted to you didn't mean I wanted to be touched in my sleep just because you felt like testing god knows what."

"I was not testing anything ... You were hard..." Atsushi kept pushing back the accusation.

"It didn't mean that you could touch me."

Atsushi face stay frozen and his lips started to move without saying anything. He just sat on the bed and hugged his legs, resting his shin on his knees. Himuro sat beside him, watching the different biscuits wraps on the floor.

"I did not know." Atsushi admitted in a strong and honest voice. Himuro had the impression to be in a parallel dimension, the discussion itself seemed surreal and Atsushi surrender felt weirder. Atsushi admitting his ignorance eased his mind while creating more conflicts, was he supposed to brush off Atsushi's actions on the proof Atsushi was unaware?

"Why did you not stop me?" Atsushi was asking the question, looking at the teddy bear on this feet and playing with one of the ear. He seemed genuinely curious about the answer, but he asked it so slowly Himuro wondered if he was not thinking about something else.

"I was asleep! When I woke up my mind was too blank to even comprehend the situation, I only grasped what was happening at the end of it! It seems like no big deal to you since you thought I wanted it, but Atsushi, you don't want me. We won't be able to have sex together, but now I will have to go to sleep with the memory of your hands on me until my brain is kind enough to forget this sensation and move on ... If I had to explain, would you be happy if someone teased you with food, made you taste it by force, and then told you it would be the sole time you would eat it?" Himuro felt lighter once the weight of every thoughts his brain let rot in his brain came out.

"I would crush the person who teased me with the food in the first place." Atsushi seemed to slowly grasp the situation. Himuro was not asking for an apology anymore, Atsushi was too stubborn to give one. His sole purpose was to bring back Atsushi at work so they could keep a professional relationship.

"So you understand you can't come to my house anymore? We won't see each other outside from work, you can fire me at the end. But I don't think Akashi would be pleased if we canceled the show." Himuro explained and got up, he did not want to stay longer near Atsushi for the moment. Himuro needed fresh air and that room needed airing.

It felt like a punishment, for both of them, although Himuro could not evaluate the damages it did on Atsushi or the lack thereof. He was clueless about Atsushi's feeling, but knew his decision was right. The situation should have started like that, Himuro made a mistake when he invited Atsushi into his apartment, let him invade his sheets. His regrets were low, he had love every minutes spent by Atsushi's side. He just wished things had gone better.

Atsushi nod and looked at Himuro in an attempt to detect lies behind his words. Himuro resolutions stood still, he was a man of word and would not budge on his decisions. No matter what kind of sad look Atsushi would offer him in punishment.

_To be continued..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well things took a new turn I guess even if the situation is not entirely resolved yet. Keep this chapter in mind for later as more things will be revealed about Atsushi, next "arc" will start soon and I am very excited about it, a lot of new characters will appear and I will need to make research about lot of stuff!


	18. Pause goûter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could do numerous apologize, and I'm sorry for the lateness, I didn't drop this fic so I hope you won't either.  
> I don't really own an explanation, but I just want to say that I'm currently doing two jobs at the same time, plus spending all my free time searching at a new one for next year. It let me with very few time to write (or even sleep actually). I really wish I could write more cause I miss it a lot! Thank you to those of you who are still reading me!! 
> 
> (what happened before: Atsushi and Himuro just got out of a fight and reached some sort of peace treaty to keep working with each other, Himuro is trying to figure out his own feelings)

The model was straightening her arms, muscle shifting under soft skin, she was young with brown skin and long hair. The classic poses relaxed Himuro. The model slowly moved in an undefined dance for the artists to capture in seconds. The teacher in charges of the class raised the volume of the music, and she started to dance following the rhythmic. Himuro had no trouble drawing with a moving model, simplicity, it was all simple again. He could look at her, and feel absolutely nothing, her body was nothing more than the subject of his observation.

Himuro desire of drawing was born again, but not the inspiration to create. Atsushi conveyed him his laziness, wrapping him in an immobilizer winter sleep. Alex offered him a way to counter attack his lack of action and bought him drawing lessons. Himuro did not need to learn the basics, but she knew the possibility of drawing a living model would get him out of inaction.

He drew sharp lines against the paper, breaking it under his strength. Pastel should be used with delicacy, all in caress, so he decided on charcoal, broke it under his finger and used the remnant to paint the form with his thumb coated in black pigment. After some try from the teacher to calm his mood, and teach him how to draw with more calm Himuro took out earphones from his bag and hushed down the old lady. He liked to work in silence, so he did not put music into his ear, but the message was clear.

Leo called him to take his news the night before. Through the talk he learnt Atsushi had no problem at creating again. His mood got sour in one instant.

"I never saw him in such a state." Leo observed. "Only a fever could stop him now, he is creating so much new design and wreck them instantly all I can keep is creased paper with design I can't show you, but I never saw Atsushi draw this kind of thing. It is men clothes, but not casual ones."

"People are a bit scared of him to be honest" Leo kept going. "I am the only one talking to him. I guess people are not used to see him at the studio either. Did you two really reconciled?"

They did not. They reached a peace treaty and Atsushi got back to work. The only one benefiting from this treaty was the emperor -meaning Akashi the boss-.

"Could you come over?" Leo asked. "We need to talk about your progress, at least to organize some stuff, it does not have to take all afternoon, or do you want us to meet outside later?"

Himuro could not refuse, he had no reason to flee from the studio.

He wrecked another charcoal against the paper, producing his better piece of the day. The pose was like a standing fighting pose, and he relieved himself of his academic theory by just violently spit onto paper what his eyes could see.

~*~

The next morning awoke him at noon. Himuro was clueless about the lies he could serve at Leo. The chances of Leo seeing right through him was high. Himuro was a mystery only to strangers. For a man with such a blank face he was so easy to read, it infuriated him slightly.

Leo jumped on him the minute he passed through the doors. He hugged him in this smooth way, sliding his arms around his shoulder and closing the gap between their body with too much ease and proximity. Leo was tall and had a muscular frame, but was slender than Himuro. He also bought perfume who smelled way better, or maybe was it his shampoo.

"Atsushi is at lunch for the moment, he went with Aurore and Chloé to the Chinese, he wanted to talk about clothes with them. We almost got the studio to ourselves."

"So we can talk about my lack of inspiration and general laziness then." Himuro admitted calmly, he decided to say the truth to Leo. He wanted to escape from the serious look and concern, but he could not lie to him.

They sat in Leo's office, which was a small room with a computer and a chair. He brought another chair from somewhere else for Himuro to sit on. Himuro explained his inaction and his lack of conviction over the work he made until then. Unable to explain the situation to Leo he told him that the recent event with Atsushi had totally reversed his state of mind. His feelings about Atsushi stayed unchanged, and now he could admit them and talk with them with Leo. The hurt he felt at Atsushi's betrayal made him face the ache who boiled in him since their first meeting.

"You still have a lot of time in front of you Himuro. If you feel pressured to work you will never achieve something good for the show..."

"I know, I can't afford to put pressure on myself, but I can't stop creating either."

"Can you forgive Atsushi?" Leo asked even with missing piece of the puzzle.

"I don't know if I should." Himuro sighed, this conversation was tiresome and heavy. He felt a presence behind him, listening at them from afar. Himuro turned around and looked at Atsushi. "I never trusted him since the beginning, I know I should stay away from him, but I think he recognized his mistake and can learn from them..."

Atsushi eyes creased, he walked into the room to get at Himuro's level. In those circumstance, Atsushi height should intimidate him, but he had the leverage and the pressure. Leo looked at them warily but none of them paid attention to their surroundings.

"Muro-chin..." His voice was as usual, no anger, no sadness was shivering it."Do you have some time later? There is a place I want to take you to." Atsushi escaped from the conversation, changing the subject. Himuro could sense the slight smile Atsushi usually kept for things he was excited about. Himuro got mixed feeling about the proposition. Would they go alone or was Leo invited?

"If you are busy it's alright." Atsushi backtracked, looking already disappointed at the prospect of not going. Himuro felt the same weakness who made him bend over every whim of Atsushi.

"Where do you want to take me?" Himuro mentioned lack of trust, he did not feel alright about surprise.

"A shop...and a restaurant maybe..." Atsushi did not seem willing to get away more information, but the answer was safe enough to agree to the demand.

"Okay..." Himuro thought about the proposition. "I'll stay at the studio until you finish your work and then we will go."

Atsushi concealed his smile and tried to keep a straight face, thus failing at it. He then went out of the room and climbed the stairs by two to go to his office.

"You are way too soft with him." Leo said with a smirk. Himuro took his head in his hands and looked at the floor mumbling he knew it.

"You don't have to forgive him, but staying away from him would probably hurt both of you don't you think?"

"Me more than him."

Leo snorted.

"Keep feeding yourself with lie such as this. I still did not hear a good reason for Atsushi to come back from Chantilly earlier."

Himuro slightly blushed, his head still hidden from Leo.

~*~

Himuro expected Leo’s job to be more arduous. He sent phone calls to fabric makers in India or China, other phone calls to prepare a model recruitment. He was in charge of the artistic direction, but since they were a small structure he also handled some secretariat. He managed a part of Atsushi’s agenda which owned him Himuro’s entire respect –since he had to make Atsushi follow said agenda. Leo refused to share with him any information concerning Atsushi’s future plan. Himuro silently observed Leo work. How he could trap the phone between his ear and shoulder while writing down information on his computer stayed a mystery. He taped nimbly on the keyboard, his voice always kept a gentle tone in order to charm the receiver. Himuro was staring and without asking he took out a pencil and a sketchbook of his bag and started to draw Leo. He liked the way his hair framed his face and fell freely around his neck. They seemed soft and really taken care of.  During one phone call, Leo smoothly turned around with his chair, crossed his legs and winked at Himuro.

“Am I your new model?” Leo teased.

“You would like to.” Himuro pretended to adjust the lines and stayed focused on his drawing.

“I wouldn’t say no.” The undertone let believe he was not talking about drawing only, making Himuro blush. Usually he could casually answer back with repartee to teasing, but today Leo gaze embarrassed him. “You are cute when you blush Tatsuya.” Leo said before turning back and going back to his work. He let Himuro nonplussed and incapable to draw a straight line. Unconsciously his hand had outlined another face than the one in front of him and he crumpled the paper with Atsushi’s image on it.

All the confidentiality about the new collection would drove him up the wall by the end of the day. As the principal concerned he would like to know more details. He observed they were all in a rush, something as to be finished by the end of the week -but what was the mystery. He thought no clothes were in creation at the moment, but he could hear the pounding of the sewing machine and the hubbub from the people working upstairs.

“Muro-chin?” Himuro kept himself occupied sketching in a corner of Leo’s office and he jumped off his seat when he heard Atsushi’s voice. He looked at the hour –five a.m- “We need to hurry before the shop close, it’s a bit far away from here.” Atsushi explained.

‘Hurry’ and ‘Atsushi’ were two incompatible words, but Himuro jumped of his chair and followed him at great speed outside the studio. Atsushi could walk at a reasonable pace and still be meter away from everyone. They took the underway, destination: “ _pont Marie_ ”. Himuro never heard of the place before and had no idea what they could find here.

Atsushi filled the silence with random conversations. He explained his hesitation between two shops, they weren’t really far away from each other, but it could be difficult at this hour to visit the two of them. Himuro asked him if it was clothes shop, Atsushi shook his head and they stopped the guessing game. Himuro thought he would hate the surprise and for this very reason he wanted to be surprised.

The station was situated near a bridge that crossed La seine and lead toward _l’île Saint Louis_. They marched along _La seine_ , then turned into a street which looked quite deserted at first glance but get narrower and hid interesting little shop. Between a small art gallery and a little shop was hidden the " _Academie de magie_ " (magic's school) who was a museum about magic through the ages. The red wood frontage really stand out in the otherwise beige street, it welcomed you through stairs and awaken your curiosity. Himuro would have been willing to visit the museum, but the surprise was apparently farther away as Atsushi kept walking without giving a second glance to the museum 

Atsushi pace became more eager when he spotted his goal. Right in the corner of the street Charles V stand a small shop framed by dark green wood welcoming them with a big “thanksgiving” written on the front. On the windows was written "Thanksgiving - _cuisine de la Louisiane_ " Himuro’s eyes squinted trying to understand the purpose of the shop and remembered "cuisine" meant "cooking" in French and he knew where Louisiana was situated. 

“It’s an American food shop.” Atsushi smiled proudly at the announcement, around the same time Himuro had deduced the same thing.

“Food?”Himuro looked at him and had to suppress a laugh, until he failed and burst into laughter.

“What? What is so funny?” Atsushi tone changed vexed by the reaction. He mumbled something like “should have taken you to the other shop before…”

“No! It’s good really, it’s just… I should have expected it. Why especially this shop?” Himuro asked genuinely.

“I said it was American, it’s been a while since you are out of your country and I was thinking… maybe you miss some stuff we can’t find in France so…”

Himuro expected the “I was hungry” or “they do a limited edition of this product” answer. Before Himuro could retort Atsushi keep explaining.

“I wanted to take you there before but I had to go to Chantilly and then… It’s best if you know where it is… I could have given the address to Leo but you could have get lost and…”

“Thank you Atsushi.” Maybe it was his voice, or just the smile he gave him, but Atsushi found his assurance back and shrugged.

“I wanted to take you into an English bookshop too, but I don’t even know if you like reading … It must just be bothersome only seeing French books all the time...”

“And then you plan to take me to an American restaurant? if it’s Burger King I stop you I don’t miss it that much.”

“You don’t want to eat burger? I didn’t plan to take you in a fast food… Well they serve rather fast but…” Atsushi seemed disappointed.

“I, sorry, I don’t mind eating burger, stop making that disappointed face like I grounded you because it makes me feel like a jerk.”

“I’m not making any face.” Atsushi smiled satisfied.

“Yeah play innocent, I wanted to buy you American sweet but I might revise my judgement.” Himuro smirked and finally pushed the door of the shop which welcomed them with a ringing bell.

“Hi” Himuro said to the young man inside the shop, the man cheered them back and it felt so good to Himuro’s ears to finally hear back the accent of an American. Himuro would have guessed East cost.

“May I help you?” The vendor asked politely.

“We are just looking for the moment… It’s the first time I can speak freely in English in this city and know I can be understood.” The vendor seemed to understand exactly what he was talking about and gave him a smile. 

“Are you tourists?” The vendor asked with a pleasant smile. The shop was empty  for now so he was free to talk with his clients.

“No I was living in New York and I came in Paris for work.” Himuro explained with a beaming smile.

“Ah same for me, but I was from Monroe in Louisiana.” The vendor started to ask others questions, about Himuro’s job or his opinion about Paris . Himuro was so happy to be able to share his concern in his own language he started to ramble quite a lot. Atsushi was paying attention at the food, slowly but surely filling up a basket. Near the vendor counter, located on the right when you entered the shop, where disposed candies such as jelly beans and twisters. Atsushi took some Dr Pepper cans too, just after the counter stood the snacks on a shelf, he took some chips and tacos, hesitating a long moment in front of the spicy sauce.

After a full fifteen minutes Atsushi came back at the counter and put the basket on it. Himuro returned his attention to him. His mind flight far away, near the skyscraper of New York and the hot dog scent that mixed up with his morning coffee. Everything was so big in New York in comparison to Paris.

“I was supposed to be the one looking at food…”Himuro deadpanned.

“You can still look, there is still time.” Atsushi shrugged. “Is there anything you like?”

"I think you took enough stuff I like as it is, but I'm going to make a tour." Himuro looked at the shop and put two or three more stuff in the basket.

“I’m gonna pay for everything.” Himuro offered looking at the three twinkies box at thirteen euro and cringed. It was so cheap in America. "Do you really need three Lucky charms box?" He asked just in case.

“No way I'll let you pay! I took you there I’m gonna pay for it, you are ruined anyway.” Atsushi said the truth and it felt frustrating. “I bought more food than you; it’s only fair I pay.”

They get out of the shop with three bags of American sweets: cereals, Jello, Hershey's product and some strawberry Fluff. It was almost all rotting teeth sugar product. The vendor said to Himuro he could come anytime if he wanted to discuss more about America or if he felt the need to buy product imported from there.

“Do we still have time for the bookshop?” Himuro asked. Atsushi looked at the hour on his smartphone and said they could always walk toward it and then take the subway somewhere else if they arrived too late.

They crossed the bridge and entered the small island, it was mainly crossed by a long empty street at first, then they crossed a school, and passed in front of an art gallery called “Art Ludique’ exposing sketches from the last Disney movie. Further in the street stood restaurants, local product store and at the corner of one street some hype ice cream seller called “Berthillon”. Atsushi looked expectantly at the shop and then remembered the reason of their presence here.

At the end of the street Himuro stopped. He did not take the time to admire the city or visit the touristic part so he just gasped at the sight. In the middle of the Seine, standing in all his mightiness stood _Notre Dame_. He had seen the hunchback of Notre Dame as a kid, but seeing the cathedral in reality was something different. They only saw the back of it from where they were and after crossing another bridge and following _La Seine_ for some meter they reached their destination.

Himuro could not take his eyes away from the monument and promised himself he would come back later to draw it. Someone was tugging at his coat and he gathered his spirit to concentrate on the shop Atsushi was showing him. “Shakespeare & co.” It gave off a British vibe and he entered the shop mesmerized. I was full of books and gave the atmosphere of an old library, old wood shelves with old ladder. They took a look around the shop and in the end Himuro decided to buy “the hunchback of notre dame” by Victor Hugo.

“It’s quite stupid to read this book in English while you are here.” Atsushi commentated while Himuro was paying.

“If you are willing to translate me all the book I’ll listen to you Atsushi.” Himuro smirked as an answer. They get out of the shop and the twilight sun lighted the water of _La Seine_ and _Notre Dame_ of a red light. They walked to the nearer station, Atsushi wanted to be early at the restaurant to be sure to have a place.

The restaurant was situated in _Le marais_ and Himuro remembered coming there for Kagami’s vernissage. They took different streets but the district was the same. They entered a small street he had missed last time. At the end of it they stopped in front of another dark green frontage of a restaurant called "Schwartz's". He immediately spotted the place, intrigued by the barber's pole. Behind the windows he could see comfy red leatherette sofa with tables. At the back of the restaurant stood simpler tables and chair. On the left was a counter with delicatessen and different kind of fresh American food. Right in front of the glasses were exposed different cakes: cheesecake, pecan pie, chocolate cake.

“They have a different special cheesecake every day, I wonder what it’ll be this time.” Atsushi mused by himself, he could have drooled if Leo hadn’t teach him some proper manner since he was a worldwide known fashion designer.  

“Are you going to let me pay this time?” Himuro asked.

“No way! You are still poor last time I checked.”

A blond woman welcomed Atsushi at the opening of the restaurant, apparently they were accustomed to his face. They gave him and Himuro one of the comfy table and hand them a menu while explaining that the special burger of tonight was a double cheese with a camembert sauce. Himuro looked at the fancy burger, they had something different from the usual burger king but he smiled at Atsuhi's delighted face. Atsushi ordered the special burger, explaining he knew all the other ones already and Himuro tried the Yankee burger. A young man took their order and came back a mere five minutes after giving them their plate. While they were waiting the restaurant got full and Himuro observed his surroundings. There was a glass with a lot of products coming from America, pastrami, salami, even salmon eggs. He hesitated to take out meet in order to cook something for Alex. 

They started eating and silence fill their table while the noise in the restaurant grew louder. Himuro thought about Atsushi’s action. Was it a way to apologize or did he have this idea before their fight? He must be aware than being nice would not change what happened. Himuro looked at Atsushi from time to time and the other boy seemed on the point to say something without never daring to.

“Do you have something on your mind Atsushi?”

“We are going to Japan in two weeks.”

Himuro gasped at him and put his fork back on the table, while chocking on a mushroom. His brain had a short-circuit as the bomb was dropped.

 

_To be continued..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I admit this chapter blocked me for no reason, I couldn't think about the story without finishing this one, now a new arc will start and I'll try to think and write more about it, this fic is really dear to me so I want to finish it.


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